Then again, some say that there is no one buried beneath the headstone; that the sly Hodja Nasreddin placed it there on purpose and, after spreading rumors of his own death everywhere, went on traveling the world. Did this happen, or did it not? Let us not engage in fruitless guessing; let us just say that anything can be expected from Hodja Nasreddin!
Chapter 32
The morning hours flew away to be replaced by a hot, stuffy day.
Everything was ready for the escape.
Hodja Nasreddin went up to his prisoner:
“The term of your imprisonment, most wise Hussein Huslia, has ended. I am leaving the palace tonight. I will leave your room unlocked, but on the condition that you do not come out any earlier than two days from now. If you break this condition, you might accidentally run into me in the palace, and then, as you understand, I will have to accuse you of escaping and hand you off to the executioner. Farewell, Baghdad sage Hussein Huslia, and do not think ill of me! I entrust you with revealing the truth to the emir and telling him my name. Listen carefully – I am known as Hodja Nasreddin!”
“O!” the old man exclaimed, shrinking back, so shocked by the name that he could not say another word.
The door creaked as it closed, and Hodja Nasreddin’s steps faded downstairs. The old man approached the door carefully and tested it – it was open. The old man peeked out and saw no one. Then he shut the door hastily and bolted it from within. “No!” he muttered. “I would rather sit here for a whole week than tangle with Hodja Nasreddin.”
In the evening, when the first stars were already beginning to appear in the greening sky, Hodja Nasreddin, holding a clay ewer in his hands, walked up to the guards watching the entrance to the emir’s harem.
The guards, who had not noticed him approaching, continued their conversation.
“Another star just fell,” said the lazy, fat guard who could swallow raw eggs. “If they land on earth, as you say, then why don’t people ever find them?”
“They probably fall into the sea,” the other guard replied.
“Hey you, valiant warriors,” Hodja Nasreddin interrupted. “Call the head eunuch, I must give him the medicine for the sick concubine.”
The head eunuch appeared and accepted the small ewer reverently with both hands, even though it contained nothing but a bit of chalk mixed with some water from the aryk. He listened to the detailed instructions as to how the medicine should be used, and departed.
“O most wise Hussein Huslia!” the fat guard said ingratiatingly. “You know everything, your wisdom has no bounds! Tell us where stars land when they fall from the sky and why people never find them on earth!”
Hodja Nasreddin could not resist a joke.
“Don’t you know?” he said without a trace of mirth. “When the stars fall, they shatter into small silver coins, and then the poor pick them up. I even used to know some people who became rich this way.”
The guards looked at each other. Their faces portrayed unspeakable surprise.
Hodja Nasreddin walked away, snickering at the foolish guards. He had no idea how useful his joke would become very shortly.
He waited in his tower until midnight. But then everything grew quiet in the city and in the palace; all the lights were extinguished. He could not delay any further, for summer nights fly on swift wings. Hodja Nasreddin descended and, sneaking and staying in the shadows, headed towards the harem. “The guards must have fallen asleep by now,” he thought.
Imagine his disappointment when, as he drew nearer, he heard the quiet voices of the guards.
“If only a star would fall here!” the lazy, fat guard was saying. “We would pick up the silver and become rich at once.”
“You know, I don’t really believe that stars can shatter into silver coins,” the other guard replied.
“But that’s what the Baghdad sage told us,” countered the first. “His learnedness is known to all, and he cannot be mistaken.”
“Curse you two!” Hodja Nasreddin exclaimed silently, hiding in the shadows. “Oh, why did I tell them about the stars; now they will be arguing till dawn! Will I really have to delay the escape?”
Thousands of stars were burning in the unreachable heights above Bukhara with a clean and silent fire: one tiny star slipped off suddenly and took a headlong plunge, slicing the sky diagonally. Another followed it, leaving behind a momentary, blinding streak. It was the middle of the summer, and the season of shooting stars was fast approaching.
“If they shattered into silver coins…” the second guard began.
Hodja Nasreddin suddenly had an epiphany. He reached into his pocket hastily and took out his purse, full of silver. He had to wait for a very long time, but no stars fell. Finally, one flew by. Hodja Nasreddin tossed a coin at the guards’ feet. The silver jingled on the stone path.
The guards froze at first, and then got up, looking straight at each other.
“Did you hear?” the first asked in a trembling voice.
“I heard,” the other replied, stuttering. Hodja Nasreddin tossed another coin. It flashed in the moonbeams. With a quick shout, the lazy guard fell onto it, covering it with his stomach.
“Did you ca… catch it?” the second guard asked, his tongue growing numb.
“I ca… caught it,” the fat man responded with trembling lips, rising and showing him the coin.
Suddenly, several stars dropped from the sky at once. Hodja Nasreddin began to throw whole handfuls of silver. The silence of the night was filled with high-pitched, melodious ringing. The crazed guards tossed aside their spears and began to feel for the coins along the ground.
“I found a coin!” one of them shouted in a hoarse and stuffy voice. “Here it is!”
The second crawled around in silence and then rumbled as he came upon a whole pile of coins.
Hodja Nasreddin tossed them another handful and slipped through the gate unhindered.
The rest was easy. The soft Persian rugs accepted his footsteps silently. He remembered all the passageways. The eunuchs were asleep…
Guljan met him with a moist, hot kiss, and embraced him, trembling.
“Come quick!” he whispered.
No one stopped them; only a eunuch began to turn and groan in his sleep. Hodja Nasreddin leaned over him. But it was not the eunuch’s time to die: he smacked his lips and began to snore once more… Faint moonlight was breaking through the multicolored panes of glass.
At the gate, Hodja Nasreddin stopped and peeked out. The guards, standing on all fours in the middle of the courtyard, were gazing at the sky and waiting for another star to fall. With a broad swing, Hodja Nasreddin tossed a handful of coins; they landed far away behind some trees. The guards dashed there. They were so crazed that they barely saw anything. Panting heavily and shrieking feverishly, they broke right through a hedge of thorny bushes, leaving scraps of their pants and robes on the branches.