That night, it was possible to steal all the concubines from the harem instead of just one.
“Faster! Faster!” Hodja Nasreddin said, drawing the girl along. They ran to the tower and climbed upstairs. Hodja Nasreddin took a rope he had prepared a long time ago from under the bed.
“It’s high… I am afraid,” Guljan whispered. He rebuked her sternly, and she obeyed.
Hodja Nasreddin tied a loop around her and removed the sawn-out grating from the window.
Guljan sat on the windowsill. It was very high, and she began to tremble. “Go!” Hodja Nasreddin commanded, prodding her in the back. She closed her eyes, slid down the smooth stones, and was suspended in the air.
She came to on the ground. “Run! Run!” she heard from above. Hodja Nasreddin was leaning out of the window up to his waist, waving his arms, and pulling on the rope. Guljan untied herself hastily and ran through the deserted square.
She did not know that the entire palace was already seized with alarm and confusion. The head eunuch, who had acquired a passionate zeal for serving the emir after the recent lesson with the cane, peeked into the room of the new concubine in the middle of the night and found her bed empty. The eunuch dashed to the emir and woke him up. The emir summoned Arslanbek. Arslanbek raised the palace guard, torches lit up, shields and spears began to jingle.
They sent for the Baghdad sage. The emir met Hodja Nasreddin with loud complaints:
“Hussein Huslia, how far has depravity spread in our country that we, the great emir, cannot even find peace from that tramp Hodja Nasreddin in our own palace? Who has ever heard of a concubine being stolen from the emir’s harem?”
“O great emir,” Bakhtiyar dared interrupt. “But perhaps it was not Hodja Nasreddin who did this?”
“Who else?” the emir shouted. “In the morning, we received news that he had returned to Bukhara, and at night, the concubine who used to be his bride disappears! Who but Hodja Nasreddin could have done this? Search for him, post triple guards everywhere – he probably has not escaped the palace yet! Remember, Arslanbek – your head is this close to jumping off your shoulders!”
The search began. Guards rummaged through every corner in the palace. Torches shone everywhere, giving off a tremulous glow.
Hodja Nasreddin searched with more zeal than anyone else. He looked under rugs, poked inside marble pools with a stick, fussed, shouted, and peeked into kettles, pitchers, and even mouse holes.
Returning to the emir’s bedroom, he reported:
“Great sovereign, Hodja Nasreddin has already managed to leave the palace.”
“Hussein Huslia!” the emir replied angrily. “Your carelessness surprises us. What if he is hiding somewhere? He could have snuck into our bedroom. Hey, guards, over here! Guards!” the emir shouted, terrified at the thought.
A cannon fired outside – to frighten the elusive Hodja Nasreddin.
The emir hunched in some corner and kept shouting:
“Guards! Guards!”
He would not calm down until Arslanbek posted thirty guards at the doors to his bedroom and ten guards by every window.
Only then did the emir crawl out of the corner and say pitifully:
“What do you think, Hussein Huslia? Could this tramp be hiding somewhere in our bedroom?”
“The doors and the windows are being guarded,” Hodja Nasreddin replied. “There are only two of us here. Where could Hodja Nasreddin be hiding?”
“But he will not get away with stealing our concubine!” the emir shouted. Fear gave way to rage in his soul, and his fingers twisted convulsively as if he were clutching the throat of Hodja Nasreddin. “O Hussein Huslia!” the emir continued. “Our wrath and our indignation are boundless! We have not even visited her once; the thought of this fills our royal heart with sorrow. Your stars are to blame for all of this, Hussein Huslia, and, if we could, we would behead all the stars for such malicious deeds! But this time, Hodja Nasreddin will not escape unpunished! We have already given orders to Arslanbek! We also command you, Hussein Huslia, to apply all your efforts to capturing this vagrant! Remember that your appointment as head eunuch depends on this. Tomorrow you must leave the palace, Hussein Huslia, and not return without Hodja Nasreddin.”
Narrowing his sly, bright eyes, Hodja Nasreddin bowed to the ground before the emir.
Chapter 33
For the remainder of the night, Hodja Nasreddin told the emir about his plans to capture Hodja Nasreddin. The plans were very intricate, and the emir was pleased.
In the morning, after receiving a purse of gold to cover his expenses, Hodja Nasreddin went up to his tower for the last time, placed the money in a leather belt, and glanced around with a sigh: he was suddenly sad to leave his dwelling – he had spent so many lonely, sleepless nights here, and thought of so much; he was leaving a part of his soul amid these grim walls.
He shut the door behind him and ran easily down the steep stone staircase towards freedom. The whole world was open to him once more. Roads, passes, and mountain paths were calling him on a long journey, green woods promised him shelter on soft leaves in the shade, the rivers were waiting to offer a drink of cold water, the birds had prepared their very best songs to please him. He had spent too long in his gilded cage, that merry tramp Hodja Nasreddin, and the world had grown bored without him.
But right by the gates, his heart was dealt a terrible blow.
He stopped, grew pale, and leaned against a wall. Led by numerous guards, his friends were entering the open gates with their heads lowered and their hands bound. He saw the old potter Niyaz, the chaikhana keeper Ali, the blacksmith Yusuf, and many others; everyone he had ever met, spoken to, asked for water or some hay for his donkey, they were all here! Arslanbek brought up the rear of the sorrowful procession.
Hodja Nasreddin did not come to his senses for a long time, and when he did, the gates had already closed and the courtyard was empty: everyone had been taken to the dungeon. Hodja Nasreddin dashed off in search of Arslanbek.
“What happened, esteemed Arslanbek? Who were those people? What crimes have they committed?”
“Those people were harborers and accomplices of Hodja Nasreddin!” Arslanbek replied triumphantly. “My spies tracked them down, and they will all be publicly executed today in a most brutal fashion if they do not give up Hodja Nasreddin. But you are pale, Hussein Huslia! You are very upset!”
“Of course!” Hodja Nasreddin replied. “It means the reward is slipping from my hands into yours!”
Hodja Nasreddin had to remain in the palace. And could he really do otherwise when death was threatening innocent people?
At midday, soldiers appeared on the square, surrounding the judgment platform with a triple ring. The people, who had been notified of the impending execution by heralds, were waiting silently. The burning sky breathed down scalding heat.
The palace doors opened, and the heralds ran out, followed, in the usual order, by guards, musicians, elephants, the retinue, and finally the emir’s sedan chair. The people prostrated themselves. The sedan was lifted on the platform.
The emir took his place on the throne. The condemned men were led from the palace. The crowd met them with a rumble. The relatives and friends of the condemned were standing in the front rows so they could see better.