He said that over and over; he repeated it to himself even as he wandered to the bathroom door. His head dropped against the thin wood, listening to the changes in sound as she turned off the water. He heard her duffel bag unzip and soft thumps as she moved.
Maybe it was possible, he lied to himself. Maybe he could be just friends with a tigress and not get hurt. Maybe his heart wouldn’t be torn from his chest when she abandoned him for the greater lure of heaven. Maybe…
By the time she came out of his bathroom, he had convinced himself that he could afford one night with a friend.
Chapter 12
NATHAN SMILED AS SWEET, cold ice cream exploded across his tongue. He rarely got to eat pistachios in Hong Kong, much less pistachio ice cream. He shouldn’t be eating it now given that one scoop of the stuff cost three times a bowl of rice. But this tasted better, and he was enjoying the company—even big, burly brother Joey.
The four of them sat at a table in the Marble Slab next to the movie theaters. The volleyball game had been fun. While Joey had stood with his football teammates and grunted school cheers for his girlfriend, Nathan and Tracy had talked about inconsequential things. She had spoken with pride of her brother’s achievements and told a story of her first experiences with plumbing. He had shared about trying to get any plumbing at all to the temple when the road was a tiny cart track.
And as the conversation continued, his esteem for her deepened. Not only could she talk about her own hardships with humor, but she listened—really listened—to his experiences. She laughed when appropriate, and beneath her smiles, he felt an understanding grow. She knew how hard it was to keep a large, old building functional. She squeezed his hand, saying without words that she knew how the unending list of repairs wore on a person. How bills and aches piled up. But at least he’d had his siblings, his aunt and various students to help him. She’d done it alone, without guidance or support, and for that he admired her to no end.
Now they were eating ice cream before Joey and Mandy left for the late showing of the newest blockbuster. But first, Joey apparently felt he had to give Nathan the third degree just like any good brother would for his only sister. Nathan didn’t mind—much—because every question pointed out yet another reason he and Tracy wouldn’t suit. And after the wonderful time he’d had at the volleyball game, Nathan needed the reminder.
“So,” asked Joey, his shoulders hunching over his food, “how much money can a temple like yours pull in?”
“Very little,” Nathan answered between small, delightful bites of pistachio heaven. “My temple survives at subsistence level.”
Joey raised his head, his brows arching. “But you’ve got a good job, right? To pay for school.”
“No,” Nathan answered smoothly. “My fellowship fell through and I’m looking for something—anything—that will pay my bills.”
Joey twisted enough to give his sister a heavy stare though he kept talking to Nathan. “So no money. What about relatives?”
“They’re none of your business, Joey,” Mandy interrupted. “Jeez, let your sister date whomever she wants.”
“What?” Joey returned, bristling. “They were just questions. I was just asking about his family and stuff.”
Nathan smiled without comment, his gaze traveling back to Tracy. She had also bristled when her brother began his not-so-subtle interrogation, but hadn’t interfered. And though her shoulders stayed tight, her gaze had dropped to her food as she took tiny, tiny bites with excruciating care.
“What’s it like in Hong Kong?” Mandy asked. “I’d give anything to go there. I hear the shopping’s fantastic.”
Nathan nodded. “If you have the money, there is no better place to buy anything.”
“That’s the whole problem, though, isn’t it?” Joey snapped. “No money, no joy.”
“That’s not true!” returned Mandy with a hefty punch to his shoulder. Joey didn’t even wince. “There’s lots of things that don’t cost a thing. The really happy people are just happy no matter what they’re doing.”
Nathan turned to Mandy, his esteem of the young woman rising by several notches. “That was a very enlightened statement,” he said. But in his mind, he calculated the evening’s tab: $13 for volleyball tickets, $20 for specialty ice cream, $14 for movie tickets. Totaclass="underline" $47 U.S. A fortune by his estimation, and they spent it easily as part of a regular Friday night out.
“It’s all about money,” Joey groused as he demolished the last of his waffle cone. “Who’s got it—” He looked at his sister. “And who doesn’t.” He looked pointedly at Nathan.
Then Tracy spoke. She looked at her brother, her eyes warm with love, but still reflecting disappointment. “You are getting really boring, brother dear.”
“And I thought you had better sense than to date—”
“Stop it!” interrupted Mandy with another punch, this one hard enough to make Joey blink. “She’s right. You’re being awful.”
Joey subsided into a mulish silence while Mandy and Tracy applied themselves to their desserts. Nathan spoke softly, but no less clearly. “It is a brother’s honored right to protect his sister. He was doing no more than I would expect from a beautiful woman’s family.” He sighed. “But I’m not Tracy’s boyfriend. We’re just friends.”
All three companions stared at him in various stages of shock. Joey’s expression was easiest to read. He was suspicious, but less hostile. Mandy’s eyes grew misty. “That’s so awesome,” she said to Tracy. “He thinks you’re beautiful.”
“He also said he doesn’t want her,” Joey grumbled. “Which is total bull.”
“Don’t be such a hater,” Mandy returned. The two began to argue in low tones. Nathan ignored them, his attention fully trained on Tracy, who had relaxed back in her seat with a calm expression.
“So now you’ve met my family,” she drawled. “Such as it is. Tell me, does your family squabble like this? Do you take honor in protecting your sister?”
“Yes and yes,” he said slowly, wondering where she intended to go with this.
“So the temple’s like one big happy family? You all sit around the dinner table annoying each other? Drink out of the milk carton or chew with your mouth open or something?”
He started to nod his head, but his words came out very different. “We are a loose collection of souls—some come, some go. All have responsibilities—some gather the food, some cook it, some clean up afterward. Our meals are usually passed in silence as each contemplates her soul’s state. A few have even taken vows of silence.” He looked closely at her. “You will like it there. It is a beautiful place.”
Joey abruptly spun around to stare hard at him. “What? What about the temple?” He turned to his sister. “You’re not going to Hong Kong, are you?”
“Relax, Joey,” Tracy answered smoothly. “I’m just asking about his home.” She said the words, but Nathan heard the hesitation in her voice even if her brother did not. Then she tossed her plastic spoon in her empty ice-cream cup and turned back to Nathan. “What about your natural siblings? You said you have a sister and brother.”
“My mother had three children, I am the eldest. Plus a few cousins who come and go.”
“Very fluid, huh?” That came from Joey, the suspicion back in his voice. “No real family ties.”
Nathan shrugged, not knowing how to answer. “We are what we are. I miss my brother and sister a great deal.” He looked at Tracy and Joey, and thought about a life with just one sibling. It seemed so peaceful and intimate. “You are very fortunate to have a brother who loves you enough to protect you.”