Her thoughts stuttered to an abrupt halt as his hand slid down her belly and into her folds. His fingers were expert at touching her, at circling and stroking. He slid into her while his thumb burrowed upward. She felt it—thick and hard. She was so sensitized to his touch that she could feel the texture of his thumbprint as it rolled over her clit.
Her belly was quivering, her entire body alive with power. It would take very little to begin the rest: the contraction of orgasm, the ecstasy of seeming flight, the joy that took her to heaven. He had done this once before for her, but not this time. Not like this.
She jerked backward from him, grabbing his shoulders with all the strength she could muster. Then she toppled him over and ripped his pants away before quickly mounting into position. “You,” she gasped. “I want you!” She knew where he was, arrow straight and as hard as steel. His shoulders where she gripped him were like iron, and she dug her nails in.
“We can’t, Tracy! You will lose immortality!” His words were tight as he fought himself.
“I know. I want you,” she answered. “I love you.” Then she bore down onto him as hard as she could, feeling herself widen and open. Something inside snapped and a flash of pain cut through her consciousness. But the sensation only added to her power. She poured the pain into her river of energy and the light seemed to grow brighter, the fire hotter. She tightened her legs, loving the feel of him thick and hard inside her. So full. So deep.
“Tracy…” he whispered. Then his voice grew richer, darker. “Tracy.” His eyes blackened and his nostrils flared.
He began to move. Slowly at first. Withdrawing while she arched, as if he dragged some central part of her with him when he pulled back. He swallowed, and she watched the ripple of his throat muscles, but all too soon her gaze slid back up to his eyes.
He thrust inside her, and she gasped. But as he withdrew, something deep inside her went with him. Her energy or power. She didn’t know. But it followed his movements—stretching out as he withdrew then compressing tight as he returned.
“Nathan…” she breathed. “Something…”
“My yang,” he said. He did it again. “As you gave me your yin, I return to you my yang.”
She didn’t understand, but that didn’t matter. This wasn’t something for her mind to understand. He withdrew again, pulling the power with him. And when he thrust, her energies increased. Orgasm hit—a wave of pleasure, expanding through her body. But that wasn’t the end.
While she cried out, he continued to withdraw and thrust, the piston of energy intensifying her orgasm. Each contraction felt deeper, harder and more amazing than the last. And still he continued.
“Nathan!” she cried, not having any other word than that. His name, his yang, his power. He thrust again, and lightning surged up her spine, throwing her head back and angling her hips for even deeper penetration. Then he slammed into her one last time.
“Tracy!” His bellow was the smallest echo of the explosion that roared through her body. He climaxed, and his yang roared through her system. Jet fuel set alight!
And they flew.
STARS PULSED ALL around her. No, they hummed. They danced. Like rich earth and bright sun, all was love and harmony and beauty. Tracy lifted her arms to the music and laughed in sheer delight.
She was in heaven again. The Chamber of a Thousand Swinging Lanterns where she was surrounded by light and sounds, colors of every texture, and joy that permeated into a sense of total love. It was everything she remembered and so much more that she had forgotten. She was standing in total love, but it had no direction. And as fantastical as it was, she wanted more. She wanted a focus, a single love. She wanted Nathan.
“I am here.”
She spun around, giggling in delight when she saw him beside her. He stood in a raiment of white light, and she knew without understanding that she saw his spirit. She saw his love for his family, his fears for the future; she saw all that she already knew. And she loved him yet more.
She wrapped her arms around him. “I am so glad you are here!”
“You brought me,” he whispered as he gazed about in awe.
You brought yourselves. The sound came from everywhere, and yet the vibration of it seemed to be right inside her—warm and loving.
Nathan must have heard it—felt it?—as well because he dropped to his knees, his forehead pressed to the ground in a kowtow. Tracy bent in an awkward curtsy. There wasn’t a person or even a direction to curtsy to, and yet the feeling inside her seemed to smile in welcome. It was like a warm caress to her heart that held a whisper of eternity.
All of heaven delights with you! The darkness around them seemed to shimmer with music. Tracy thought she saw people or structures, but they weren’t shapes so much as thoughts and joyous feelings given form. Except the forms went by so fast and were so complicated that her mind couldn’t grasp them. They were beautiful. All was beautiful, and Tracy’s whole being tingled brightly in echo.
“How is this possible?” Nathan breathed, awe and shock rippling through the light that was him.
Heaven laughed in such a bubbling vibration that Tracy giggled. All things are possible here. All things are possible there, too.
“Where?” Tracy asked though she already knew the answer.
Wherever you are. Heaven is within you. It always has been. A light sparkled across her in a kiss suffused with love. We will see you again!
They fell. Hand in hand, they tumbled backward. Both immediately surged upward, trying desperately to remain, but they kept their hands linked. Buoying each other, they hovered a moment longer. “When?” they cried in unison. “When can we come back?”
Whenever you like, was the echoing answer.
They lost their lightness. Tracy’s being became heavy and slow. And the more she struggled, the heavier she became. Within seconds, her spirit tumbled back into her body. Her last conscious sensation was Nathan’s hand squeezing her own.
Chapter 20
TRACY WOKE SLOWLY, her body heavy and cold. There was movement beside her—in her—and she opened her eyes.
Nathan. He was sliding sideways, and for a moment, she could still see the glowing beauty of his heavenly soul. He was so beautiful that it brought tears to her eyes. But then she blinked, and when she opened her eyes again, the glow was gone. And yet, he was still wonderful. She didn’t need heavenly vision to know that.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He didn’t answer as he collapsed beside her on the bed with a muffled grunt. She might have smiled at that, except she abruptly realized she was already grinning. “We went to heaven. Together.”
“Lummmmph,” he said, his face buried in the pillow. “Mmm unnn lummmph.”
She had no idea what he was saying, but she felt too heavy to ask. That was the only drawback to coming back to earth: the heaviness, the cold. The loneliness.
She made a Herculean effort and rolled onto her side to press a kiss against Nathan’s face. She wanted to talk. Had he seen what she had? Did he remember the light? The beauty? Instead, totally different words came out.
“I love you,” she repeated.
He rolled onto his side so that he faced her. He looked so relaxed, so happy. “So much love,” he murmured. “For you.”
He reached out to touch her. She thought he might stroke her face, but his gesture was clumsy. He was probably feeling as heavy as she was. His hand fell to her side and he tugged. He was pulling her closer to him.
It was exactly what she wanted, too, so she curled her body into his heat. She closed her eyes only when she could hear the steady thump of his heart. His hand curved about her back, tightening as he drew her even closer.