“Not lie and actually believe it,” Riddick agreed.
Tekla raised her brow, a subdued challenge. “You don’t think so? What about this: I’m not too drunk to drive. He’s just working late. The glove doesn’t fit.” Tekla allowed her mouth to quirk. “People do lie to themselves, and they get away with it because every action affirms and reaffirms their perception. That’s the power of the human mind. That’s the power of thought, which is nothing more-and nothing less-than energy. And when you have a particularly powerful mind, extraordinary things can happen.”
She made another wall appear, effortlessly, then turned back to us and smiled.
“So what’s the practical application?” Riddick asked, moving forward first to touch the wall, then knock on it loudly when he found it solid.
“Good question,” she said, automatically folding her arms before realizing she wasn’t wearing her robe. She linked her hands instead. “One answer is the element of surprise. Say your back is against a wall, literally, and a Shadow makes a move against you. Instead of making the choice to flee or fight-”
“I never flee,” Felix said, cocking his fists on his hips.
“We know, Felix,” Tekla said, and he wilted slightly. “Thus the Shadows already know how you will act when backed against that wall.”
“Except you don’t have a choice in that instance,” I said in his defense. “You fight or die.”
She smiled like she’d been expecting me to say that. “Ah, but you always have a choice. It’s like dropping a footprint on the moon. Once you take a step, the landscape of your life is forever changed.
“So the question I pose to you today is, what do we want that landscape to look like? Which direction do you want that footstep to lead? What walls need to come down before you reach your goal? Once you have the answers to these questions, the Universe will conspire to bend to your wishes.”
She inclined her head and folded her hands together like a Jedi knight. Impressive, it was. She then shifted her gaze to Riddick, motioning him to the wall. “You first.”
He swallowed hard, but strode forward with determination.
“What were you thinking yesterday when you were all scattered in the labyrinth?” she asked him. “What was your intent going into that maze?”
“To win,” he said, running a hand over his rust-colored hair. “To kick some ass.”
The rest of us laughed, but Tekla’s smile was close-lipped as she motioned to the wall in front of him. “Focus that on the wall now, projecting that intention, and will it away.”
Riddick squared his shoulders and stared at the wall like it was a mortal enemy. For a moment nothing happened, and I thought that’s what Tekla wanted us to see-that nothing happened when we faced our obstacles with the wrong intent. Instead, the base of the wall shimmered briefly, setting the length of it to swaying, and looking as though the whole thing would topple. I felt myself go cross-eyed as I stared too hard at the spot, and had to blink. Beside me, Vanessa shook her head. When I focused again, I’d found that another wall had appeared instead, thickening the first.
“A second thing you might want to remember,” Tekla said wryly, “is that the wrong intention can generate the exact opposite of your desired effect.”
Riddick scowled. “What’s wrong with wanting to kick ass?”
“Nothing. But it’s not a strong enough motivation to create lasting change. It needs to be linked to a higher reason.” She jerked her head at Felix, who immediately clapped Riddick on the shoulder, backed the frowning man up, and smiled broadly at the rest of us as he rubbed his hands together.
“My intention was to have green friends,” Felix said, grinning. There were snorts and scattered chuckles-none from Chandra, I noted-but they died down as he turned his focus on the second wall. Felix was close to being a senior agent, and I had no doubt he was keyed in to a “higher reason.” We all held our breaths as the entire wall began to shimmer, then shake. The unmistakable scent of burning wood rose in the air, and a low whirring sound ebbed up from beneath Felix’s wide stance. It died down when a fourth wall materialized out of nowhere.
“What the fuck?” Felix said, disbelief in his face and voice as Riddick thumped his back in mock sympathy.
“Humor is one of your gifts, my boy, but I doubt you’ll be winning over any Shadow agents with wit alone.” Tekla raised her brows until he acknowledged her point with a meek nod, and stepped back with the rest of the group. Then she turned to me. “Olivia? You were one of the last players standing. What was your intention yesterday?”
“Why don’t you ask Hunter? He’s the one who pulled me into the game.”
“Thank you.” Tekla didn’t even blink. “But I’m asking you.”
I sighed and reluctantly shuffled forward. This was going to be bad. I couldn’t lie about my intentions. This group would scent one out quicker than a coyote tracking a jack-rabbit. So I focused on the wall, where my image stared back at me-beautiful, but defensive and dark eyed-and told her the truth. “Vengeance.”
The explosion was deafening. The wall shattered, sharp missiles flying to pelt every corner of the room. I had time to duck, but not cover, and yelped as a shard bit into my right cheek, feeling the same knifelike stings on my legs and arms, and hearing the others cry out like soldiers dying on a battlefield.
Over as quickly as it began, the silence that followed was punctuated only by labored breathing, and I peeked from my hunched position, felt tentatively at my wet cheek, and came away with blood. The others were doing the same, some still gasping in surprise and confusion, others cursing freely and shooting me steel-plated glares. Only Tekla, standing as she’d been before, remained untouched.
Because she’d known what was going to happen, I thought bitterly.
“Another fine example of what not to do.”
That made me see three different shades of red. “You wanted me to break through the wall,” I said, crossing my arms. “I did.”
“Look around you, Olivia. Look what you’ve done to your troop.”
I didn’t need to look to know what she was really saying. If we’d been on a mission in the real world, my actions would have wiped out my whole troop. They knew it too, and their eyes were on me, as heavy as their silence. Because the single unspoken question winging through each of their minds was the same one that’d dogged me since joining the troop. Will you give up your quest for vengeance for us?
And goddamn if that didn’t make me want to dig in my heels even harder.
“So I’ll have my vengeance, kill Joaquin, and then I’ll stop.”
“Well, that’s the thing, Olivia. There is no final action.” Tekla pursed her lips and turned to address the others. “All your deeds live within, piling up to create your life. So revenge isn’t just a step in the wrong direction, it’s an A-bomb that will flatten everything around you.”
I stared at Tekla as the silence drew out around us, gradually scenting new emotions in the air; my defiance, sure, and anger at the way Tekla had ambushed me, but there was sympathy there too-I didn’t know who that belonged to-and regret, which would have soothed me if not for the sudden loamy whorl of fear emanating from Marlo’s direction. That hadn’t been there before, and I gritted my teeth-resenting its appearance now, blaming Tekla-though I refrained from looking at Marlo. I didn’t want to frighten her further. My eyes, I knew, were as black as tar.
“I’m doing the best I can,” I said between clenched teeth.
“I don’t want your best. I want you to break through that wall-”
“Then show me how!” I yelled, and had the satisfaction of seeing her jerk in surprise.
Her eyes narrowed immediately. “The rest of you leave us.”
The troop filed out in silent singles and pairs, as I stared at Tekla, she at me.