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‘You’ve heard about him?’

‘Oh, yes. It’s all old gossip.’

Old gossip never seemed to die. Harrigan remembered the press conference where he’d announced they were upgrading Cassatt’s disappearance to a murder inquiry. A crime reporter from a national daily had got to her feet. ‘I’ve got three questions for you, Commander,’ she said. ‘Is it true you started your career in NSW Police under the auspices of the Ice Cream Man? Do you have any information that ties him to the still unsolved murder of Edward Lee? And instead of the unknown assailants you’ve always claimed were responsible, was Cassatt behind the incident twelve years ago that put you in hospital on life support?’

‘There’s a one-word answer to those three questions,’ Harrigan had replied. ‘No. Does anyone want to ask me a question about the case at hand?’

The journalist had printed all three questions in the paper the next day. Grace must have read that story, heard all these things said, and still never talked to him about them.

‘I didn’t believe any of those stories.’ She spoke suddenly, breaking into his thoughts. ‘I don’t believe you’d ever take money from someone like Cassatt. And I don’t believe you could ever be involved in anyone’s murder.’

‘I’ve never taken money and I haven’t killed anyone,’ he said. ‘But Mike did almost kill me. One night in a back alley in Marrickville. There were three of them. You’ve met one, Jerry Freeman. Mike wanted me to eat my gun. He said, “You’re dead, mate.” Now you know who I was throwing that glass at.’

‘How come you’re still alive?’

‘Some brave person I never got to thank shone their headlights on us at high beam. Mike never fired the shot, I’ll never know why. He smashed my jaw instead and ran.’

Grace shook her head, her eyes glistening.

‘That’s too close. I don’t want to think about that. Did you take him on?’

‘Like a fool, yes. I kept baiting him. I’d sabotage his operations. I’d let journalists know what he was up to. I’d tip off crims who had it in for him. Once I arrested one of his couriers and flushed his stash of heroin down the toilet. I can’t believe what I used to do. I must have had a death wish.’

‘Why? Did you want to be a hero? A totally dead one.’

‘I was high on the adrenaline. I knew how dangerous it was and I was getting a kick out of it. Mad.’

‘That doesn’t explain why you took Cassatt on in the first place,’ she said.

‘Because every time I look in a mirror, I’m supposed to see him looking back at me. I was supposed to be him; he was supposed to be the older brother I never had. Cassatt’s been there since I was born. His father and mine were old mates, they were in Korea together. After his dad died, he was always around at our house. Dad wanted me to be just like Mike. He used to say to me, “He’s someone you should look up to. He makes his own luck. You follow him and he’ll take you places.”’

‘Didn’t your father know what sort of a man he was?’

‘Dad knew everything about him. My father was a petty crim. He wasn’t always like that but that’s how he ended up. He got into pilfering when he worked on the docks. Then he started working for Mike’s mates-they had a machinery repair business down near the container wharves. They were importing heroin. Mike was greenlighting them, Dad was their cockatoo. I didn’t want to be like either of them.’

She had a habit of flicking the end of her carefully manicured fingernails with her thumb when she was thinking. Today, they were a yin and yang of light and dark red. He noticed these things about her, the small pieces of her body language he had learnt to read.

‘Play the tape then. I don’t want to live in the dark about something like this.’

‘It’s about a murder, Grace. Are you sure you want to take that on?’

‘You said it was my choice. Play it.’

4

‘When you listen to this, Paulie, tell yourself one thing. You owe your dad your life. You kept giving me grief but I waited till old Jimbo died before I did anything about it. You’re so high and mighty now, but remember I got you your job as a favour to him. You owe me but you’ve always been disloyal. Even when you first came out of the Academy and you went to Dave McKenzie in Robbery when you were supposed to be with me.

‘Took me a while to get you over to my squad. You didn’t help any. The day I watched you walk through the door, I thought, I’m going to break you. Me, Joe and Jerry were there to meet you. I’ve still got the tie I had made for you, with New Boy on the nametag. “Put it on,” I told you. “Everyone here’s got one and you’re one of us now.” You closed up and I wondered if you were going to walk out on me. But you couldn’t throw your job away. You had that spastic kid to support.

‘I let it go a fortnight. Then I told you, “You don’t leave tonight, you’re driving for me.” It was just me and Joe, but you stayed, you got the message. You were twenty-three. Way past time for you to get blooded. I watched you drive us to Double Bay. Were you going to see it through, I wondered. But you kept driving and you parked where I told you to.

‘It’s dark there, in that corner of the street back from the shopping centre. People don’t see you. Finally the man we’re waiting for turns up. Mr Edward Lee. Merchant banker. He’d been out to dinner and was heading for his car. The last meal he ever had. I got him out of some bad stuff and he thought he could renege on me. I warned him: “You can’t not pay me, mate. You like fucking little boys too much and I can prove it.” Bold as brass, he came back: “You can get away with anything in this town if you know the right people. I know enough to protect myself but you’ll go down.” Bad mistake, Eddie. If people knew I’d let that happen, they’d walk all over me.

‘He was on the floor in the back of the car before he knew what hit him. Joe put the cuffs on him and stuck a bit of tape over his mouth. His face, the way he looked. I laughed. I said, “I thought you liked this sort of thing, mate.” I told you we were taking Eddie home. You must have known what was going to happen. I saw your hands shaking. I thought, you fucking coward. I’m going to make you do this.

‘We got into his house through the garage. I had Eddie by the hair. “You’re going to be sorry for what you said, mate. You’re not bringing me down.” Joe and me, we let him have it. Put the boot right in. Here’s your chance, Paulie. Prove yourself. No way. You ran for the fucking door. It took the two of us to drag you back. “You shoot him,” I told you. “You do it now.” I shoved that gun in your hand but you dropped it. You shouted at me: “No!” I smacked you in the face for that. You had blood coming out of your mouth, on your shirt, your tie. You were a mess. I did it myself. Twice in Eddie’s head. Finished. Then I rubbed some of Eddie’s blood on your tie. “Welcome to the club,” I said. “This is how it is. Get used to it.”’

Harrigan hit the stop button. He sat there, caught in the memory in his head. Grace had forgotten to smoke; her cigarette was dead in the ashtray.

‘Unsolved Sydney mysteries,’ she said, her face pale in the light. ‘Who killed Eddie Lee? Is that really what happened?’

‘Word for word. They took the house apart after that looking for money. They found it. Mike knew where to look. Then he said I needed fortifying and we went somewhere else. I drove. My hands were shaking but I got there.’

‘Where?’

‘Some flea-bitten dump in South Sydney called the Sportsman Club. It’s not there any more. Mike had an arrangement with the owner. Free beer and free roots in exchange for not bothering him too much about his other activities.’