‘You’re going to do that every day now? It must take you an hour to get ready to come to work to sell petrol.’
‘Listen, little bubby,’ Benny said, ‘you’re going to remember me, I’m going to be famous and you’re going to remember that all you could do was worry about my fucking hair.’ He knew already he would be sorry he had said that. Jesse would tell the others and they’d fart and hee-haw like about Bozzer and his bullshit story of his father who was meant to be a yuppy with a 7 Series BMW.
But if he had to be sorry, he was fucked anyway. I cannot be what I am. In the corner of his eye he saw something. He turned. It was Maria Takis, walking slowly back to her car. She waved at him. Benny liked her face. He liked her wide, soft mouth particularly. He waved back, smiling.
‘Christ,’ he said, ‘that’s all woman.’
‘That’s all woman,’ Jesse mimicked. ‘You’re a poof, Benny, admit you’re a poof.’
Benny heard himself say: ‘She’s mine.’ He meant it too. He committed himself to it as he said it.
He watched the Tax Inspector getting into her car. He had a very nice feeling about her. He had had a nice feeling about her this morning, the way she spoke, the way she looked at him. He took an Aloe-Vera facelette and wiped his cheeks.
Jesse said: ‘You want to fuck a whale?’
Benny looked at Jesse and saw that he was very young, and very short. He had soft, fair, fluffy hair in a line from his ears down to his chin. Benny felt his power come back. He felt it itch inside his skin.
He said, ‘When you’re grown up you’ll like their bellies like that.’
‘You don’t like girls, Benny.’
‘Their tits get big,’ Benny said. ‘Their nipples too. They like you to drink their milk while you fuck them.’ He was smiling while he spoke. He felt his skin stretch. His face was full of teeth.
Jesse frowned.
Benny thought: you dwarf. He thought: I am going to rise up from the cellar and stand in the fucking sky.
‘She’s from the Tax Department,’ Jesse said. ‘I had to carry all the ledgers and that up to your Granny’s flat for her. She’s going to go through your old man like a dose of salts.’
This was the first time that Benny had heard about the Tax Department. He was travelling too fast to notice it. ‘I don’t care where she’s from.’ He looked down at Jesse and smiled as he checked his tie. ‘I am going to fuck her.’
Jesse was going to say something. He opened his mouth but then he just made a little breathy laugh through his nose and teeth.
Finally he said, ‘You?’
‘Yes.’ Benny’s chest and shoulders felt good inside his suit. His posture was good. He was suffused with a feeling of warmth.
‘We can realize our dreams,’ he told Jesse.
Jesse blushed bright red.
‘Also,’ Benny said. He held up a single, pink-nailed forefinger and waited.
‘Also what?’
‘Also I am selling five vehicles a week, starting now.’
Benny smiled. Then he picked up the ‘Petrol Sales’ invoice book and went to read the meters on the pumps.
10
Mrs Catchprice sat in her apartment above the car yard in Franklin, and was angry about what happened in Dorrigo nearly sixty-five years before.
Her grandson chanted. It did her no particular good, although she liked the company. He chanted on and on and on, and she smiled and nodded, watching him, but she was Frieda McClusky and she was eighteen years old and she would never have the flower farm she had been promised.
In Franklin she narrowed her cloudy eyes and lit a Salem cigarette.
In Dorrigo she lost her temper. She emptied her mother’s ‘Tonic’ across the veranda. She threw a potato through the kitchen window and watched it bounce out into the debris of the storm. She would never have a flower farm in Dorrigo. Then she would have her flower farm somewhere else.
She walked out down the long straight drive. She was eighteen. She had curly fair hair which fell across her cheek and had to be shaken back every ten yards or so.
I was pretty.
She was tall and slender and there was a slight strictness in her walk, a precision not quite in keeping with the muddy circumstances. The drive ran straight down the middle of their ten-acre block. The gutters on each side of it were now little creeks running high with yellow water from the storm. Occasional lightning continued to strike the distant transmitter at Mount Moomball, but the thunder now arrived a whole fifty seconds later. It was six o’clock in the evening. Steam was already beginning to rise from the warm earth.
There was a dense forest of dead, ring-barked trees on either side of the slippery, yellow-mud road. They were rain-wet, green-white. They were as still as coral, fossils, bones. There was a beauty in them, but Frieda McClusky did not care to see it.
There were three trees fallen across the road. She had to pick her way between the thickets of their fallen branches. She was fastidious in the way she touched the twigs. She kept her back straight and her pretty face contorted – her chin tucked into her neck, her nose wrinkled, her eyes screwed up. When a branch caught in her coat, she brushed and panicked against the restriction as though it were a spider’s web.
She wore a pleated tartan skirt and a white cotton blouse with a Peter Pan collar. On her feet she had black Wellingtons. She carried a tartan umbrella, a small hat-case, a navy blue waterproof overcoat, and – for her own protection – a stick of AN 60 gelignite which had been purchased four and a half years ago in order to blow these dead trees from the earth.
In a year when no one had ever heard the term ‘hobby farm’, the McCluskys had sold their family home in Melbourne and moved here to Dorrigo a thousand miles away. There was, of course, no airport in Dorrigo, but there was no railway either. From the point of view of Glenferrie Road, Malvern, Victoria, it was like going to Africa.
Frieda’s father was fifty-eight years old. He had energy in the beginning. He had blue poplin work-shirts and moleskin trousers which went slowly white. He set out to ring-bark every large tree on the ten-acre block. When the trees were dead he was going to blast their roots out of the earth with gelignite. The ten acres he chose were surrounded by giant trees, by dramatic ravines, escarpments, waterfalls. It was as romantic a landscape as something in a book of old engravings. Within his own land he planned rolling lawns, formal borders, roses, carnations, dahlias, hollyhocks, pansies, and a small ornamental lake.
He had notebooks, rulers, pens in different colours. He had plans headed ‘Dorrigo Springs Guest-house’ which he drew to scale. He listed his children on a page marked ‘Personnel’. Daniel McClusky – vegetable gardener. Graham McClusky – carpenter, mechanic. Frieda McClusky – flower gardener. It did not seem crazy at the time. He wrote a letter to the Technical Correspondence School so he might ‘qualify in the use of handling of explosives to a standard acceptable to the chief Inspector of Explosives of New South Wales’. He bought Frieda Large Scale Plantings by A. C. Reade. She learned to push the soil auger hard enough to take samples from the land. She parcelled up each sample in separate brown paper bags and sent them by train to C.S.I.R.O.
Frieda’s mother was not listed as ‘Personnel’, but the move had a positive effect upon her temper. She bought a horse and wore jodhpurs which made her skittish and showed off her good legs and her small waist. She brushed Frieda’s hair at night, and stopped going to bed straight after dinner. She was less critical of Frieda’s appearance. Sometimes she walked down the drive-way with her husband, hand in hand. You could see them pointing out the future to each other. Frieda watched them and felt a great weight removed from her.