I have to decide.
Everything he'd ever wanted or asked for had been contained inside the crystal wall, as had everything he'd ever feared.
'I don't think I can go back, he confessed to the souls. 'I think Owain and the others are right. I'm not strong enough.
'You have the strength, Son, his father said.
'I don't. The suffering I would bring is unthinkable.
'You only have to take away the leaders, Dinlay said. 'Owain and his cronies.
'That might have worked at the start, but not now. Everything has changed. The guns are out there in the open. Hundreds of people are flocking to join him.
'Hundreds more resisted him, and died. Don't they deserve justice? You know you have support. Think of the election results.
Edeard knelt on the ground, still looking at Makkathran. 'I can't do this. It's over.
'We understand, Kristabel said. 'This is what makes you, you. This is what I loved.
'We'll be together, he promised her. His farsight sensed the first squad reaching the final slope up to the summit. All of them were readying their rapid-fire guns. 'We will reach the Heart and live there for eternity.
'Together, Kristabel agreed.
Edeard drew in a deep breath. He looked out one last time across the Iguru Plain, his thoughts serene as he stopped shielding himself. Makkathran's thoughts brushed against his mind, as slow and content as always. Dreaming in another realm.
'Thank you for all your help, he told it, and poured his gratitude out to the city.
For the first time he sensed a change. The giant mind began to quicken. Stronger, more concise thoughts began to rise, like some massive creature coming up from the depths of the sea. Makkathran was waking.
Edeard swayed back, astounded by the reaction he'd kindled. He'd tried innumerable times to make himself understood to the city, never receiving any reply. It did his bidding for simple things like altering the buildings, or sending him along the travel tunnels. But he'd assumed any true connection was beyond him.
'You heard me, he longtalked in astonishment.
The answer was still slow, measured and considered as he expected it to be. Solemn: as was fitting for such a magnificent creation. 'I felt sorrow, Makkathran said. 'You are in pain. I have not felt pain like that for such a time.
'I… I have lost. That was the pain you felt. I apologize. I didn't mean to disturb you. I simply wished to thank you for all you've done.
'Loss? I remember loss. Once there were many, now I am alone.
'There were others like you? Edeard asked.
'Once. No more. Not even here. To revisit that time would be useless.
'I'm sorry. I didn't know. Can I help? I'm about to go to the Heart of the Void. Will your kind be there?
'No. None would submit to absorption. That is not what we are.
'What are you?
'The failed past.
'You haven't failed us. You gave us shelter, refuge.
'I am glad. Do you accept the Void's purpose? Is that why you go to its Heart?
'What purpose?
'To become one with this universe. It seeks all rationality.
'That's… No. I go because I have lost my life.
'How can you lose your life in the Void?
He gave Kristabel and the others a puzzled look, very conscious of the armed men slinking up the slope towards him. 'I don't understand.
Something like a gust of emotion swept out of the city. Reluctance. Acceptance. Pity. 'The Void allows you to find your perfect life, Makkathran said. 'It is the way it brings you to fulfilment, to reach your personal evolution and achieve contentment with what you are.
'What do you mean? Edeard started to harden his shield again as he heard a number of safety catches clicked off.
'All of those who come from outside strive for this state, that is why the Void welcomes them. This universe had no other purpose, not now. That is its beauty for those inside, and tragedy for those without, for they will ultimately pay the price.
'I can't achieve a perfect life. My life is over.
'Reach into the Void. Search out where you wish to be, and begin again. It is simple. Once you adapt to the Void it provides you with whatever you want. Every species that ever arrived here was drawn into that evolution. You will be no different, I suspect. There is no harm in that. I wish you well on your journey.
The city's thoughts began to slow again. Withdrawing back into slumber.
'No, Edeard said. 'No wait. Tell me how. He turned to the souls. 'What did it mean?
'I sense patterns around me, Kristabel said. 'Just as Boyd told you. The universe remembers what happened everywhere. Our whole life is visible there in the past.
'Can you show me? Edeard asked.
'See with me, she said. Edeard tried to sense her thoughts, the gift of her perception. It was a strange union, a dimension of farsight he'd never known of before. As he followed his wife's observation into the fabric of reality he saw for himself. Saw himself stretched out down the slope, a million, a billion, images of himself leading back; they encapsulated every instant of the climb, every step, every breath, every heartbeat. Every thought. It was as if he was looking into an infinity mirror. Makkathran was right, his essence had been captured by the Void. Every moment of his existence had been remembered.
Edeard regarded himself, the one of five minutes ago, studying how real the vision was. He appeared frozen. Awaiting the breath to fill his lungs in order to become real.
'Oh my Lady, he gasped. 'I think I understand. But… no. That would mean. He leapt to his feet. 'Kristabel?
'Do it, she entreated. 'Edeard, if there's even a chance—
'Yes. He flung his arms out, unleashing his third hand. The squad members were hurled into the air, an expanding bracelet of struggling figures arching up and out, away from the ground. Screaming as they began their plummet hundreds of feet to the wider slope below.
Free of any immediate danger, Edeard concentrated again on the images. Minutes ago was useless to him. He began to push on past the memories of himself walking up to the summit. Delving deep. He knew himself lying on the bed in the pavilion while Salrana longtalked Owain. Further. His own memory came into play, knowing a vivid moment from a few days ago. Twinning it with the Void's recollection. The technique was almost instinctive. The moment was there, shimmering elusively in front of him. His mind reached for it, finding it beyond his grasp. He tried again, harder this time, channelling his colossal telekinetic strength into the stretch. Mental fingers scrabbled desperately to close around the moment, to make it real. He groaned with the effort. Forcing the universe to link the moments.
Somewhere — allwhere, the universe began to shift. The present slipped backwards, slowly at first. That long linear image of him walking up the slope unwound, taking him down. Above him, the stars crawled the wrong way through the firmament. Encouraged, Edeard threw his entire strength into achieving the union across time. The impossibly weird motion began to accelerate. Edeard's past rushed past. The precise, wonderfully clear moment he wanted hurtled towards him—
— Edeard woke screaming. The yell of shock and disbelief rang round the woodland camp, he couldn't stop blasting air from his lungs. Morning light shone down on him.
Morning!
Dinlay was a few yards away, immobile in the action of hopping about while he held his boot high. He was giving Edeard a dumbfounded look.
Edeard managed to stop his scream. He looked round wildly, then jumped as he saw Macsen sitting on an old fallen tree trunk.
'I didn't put anything in your boot, Macsen protested in a reasonable voice.