But she was down, and intact. That was something.
The mind was still there; waiting with a hint of impatience. She was sensing its emotional state directly through farsight rather than via her gaiamotes. Presumably then, he could sense her thoughts.
Justine took her time removing her armour suit. After all, she didn't want to frighten him and it would look fearsome to anyone unfamiliar with Greater Commonwealth technology. She unwound an emergency rope ladder from the airlock, not trusting the gravity manipulation function to lower her down. When she started down she realized the beige one-piece she'd put on was remarkably similar to the leathery grey-blue flightsuit she'd worn in the hyperglider. Only the helmet was missing.
'Didn't get that right, did you? she mocked the Void.
The rope ladder swung about alarmingly as she neared the bottom, Its pendulum motion sending her swaying over the grassy ground. She jumped the last two rungs.
Gravity was low, just like Far Away. The scent of pine trees was strong in the humid air. Her farsight swept out, producing a mildly disorientating effect. Then she began to interpret the foggy shapes, correlating them to what her eyes could see. Besides, her biononic field scan function was working unimpaired, providing solid interpretations of the surrounding landscape.
He was standing ten yards away, waiting courteously for her to notice him. Justine turned round very slowly, still half believing she'd open her eyes to see the Silverbird's cabin around her as she rose from suspension. But no, it was real. He was real.
Justine smiled, too numb for any emotion to triumph. 'Hello, Kazimir, she said.
His face was perfect, healthy dark skin and shining white teeth in lips that could smile so wide; rich black hair tied back with a red band. As were the clothes, a leather waistcoat open to show off a nicely muscled torso, and his McFoster clan's emerald and copper check kilt. He even carried the correct small backpack.
'You know me? he asked.
The voice was right, too. But then it should be, he was her creation after all. Her smile shifted from welcome to sympathy. 'I'm aware of who you think you are. That's my fault.
He frowned. 'Are you all right? Your craft came down fast…
Finally, she laughed. That concern was so Kazimir. 'A little shaken up, that's all. My name is Justine, by the way.
'I'm pleased to meet you, Justine. Is that really a spaceship?
'It really is.
Justine couldn't be cruel, that was the hardest part. She couldn't just tell him to go away, or ignore him. That would have been so much easier for her. But he was a seventeen year old human being with feelings; just like everyone else he never asked to be born—no matter the strange nature of his birth. He deserved to be treated with consideration and respect.
Curiously, he had no clear recollections of where he came from.
They sat beside a stream that gurgled along the side of the clearing. Both weary of the other, yet he was powerfully attracted to her, and not just physically, she could sense that.
'I am on my groundwalk, he told her when she asked where he'd come from.
'To prove you can survive out here by yourself, she said, recalling this very same conversation from so long ago. 'Once you return to your clan you can become a fully fledged warrior and fight the Starflyer.
'You know of the Starflyer?
'Kazimir, I know this must be hard to believe, but the Commonwealth defeated the Starflyer a very long time ago. You're not who you think you are.
He grinned delightedly. 'Then who am I?
'You are a dream I had. This place makes you real.
His face produced a thrilled expression while his mind registered a brisk amusement. 'What are you saying, that I have died and this place is the Dreaming Heavens?
'Oh my God! Justine stared at him in complete astonishment. 'I'd forgotten that part of the Guardians' ideology. Well, consciously, anyway.
'So are you my spirit guide? You are what I imagine an angel would look like.
'You called me that before, she said quietly.
'I did what?
'You used to call me your angel.
'Back when we were alive? His mind was starting to show uncertainty — a joke wearing thin.
Justine cursed her stupid old biological body for its crippling emotional weakness. 'You are alive. Again. It's complicated.
'You thought I was dead?
I watched you die. 'Tell me where you were before you started your groundwalk? Who your friends are? What did you spend last year doing? In fact, what were you doing this time yesterday?
'I… His thoughts churned desperately. 'It is difficult. I don't remember much. No wait, Bruce! Bruce is my friend.
'Kazimir, I'm sorry. Bruce was the one who killed you.
He recoiled. 'This is the Dreaming Heavens!
'I suppose in a manner of speaking, yes it is.
'Bruce would never kill me.
'He was captured by the Starflyer, who turned him against the Guardians of Selfhood. He became their agent.
'Not Bruce.
'Not the Bruce who was your friend, the Starflyer destroyed that part of him. Kazimir, you don't have any memories of your past because I don't know it, not as fully as I should do, not the details. We didn't spend enough time together to talk of such things in depth. The time we did have was too precious. I always regretted that, I'm so sorry. She looked away, trying to get her emotions under control. This is so painful. I don't have to put myself through this. I should just walk away. Then she glanced at him, seeing the hurt and confusion on his face, and she knew she couldn't do that to him, not her Kazimir, not even a shadow of him.
He reached out tentatively, fingers touching her shoulder, as if he was the one who should be offering comfort. 'We were… together?
'Yes, Kazimir. We were lovers.
A wide smile split his youthful face, and the universe wasn't so bad after all.
'I'm doing this really badly, she confessed. 'I wish I could be gentler to you.
'So I am what you dream of?
'Yes.
His smile was triumphant now. 'I am glad you dream of me. I am glad I am here for you.
Oh no. We're not going down that wad. It's not… right. 'I'm glad you're here, too; but I have a duty to perform.
Kazimir nodded seriously. 'What duty?
She pulled a face. 'Save the galaxy.
'How?
'Don't know, actually. Where we are, this place, it's wrong. I have to get to… whoever's in charge, try and convince them to stop their expansion. I'm sorry if that doesn't make much sense.
Kazimir's gaze turned to the Silverbird; there was a flash of longing in his mind. 'Will we fly there in your spaceship?
The first drops of rain began to fall out of the darkening sky as the stormhead found its way round the volcano. 'I'd like to, but I need to figure out how to make it fly again. And I don't know where the nucleus is or how to get there.
'Oh. His disappointment was tangible, shining through a weakly shielded mind.
Justine grinned. 'Would you like to look inside?
'Yes please!
He shot up the rope ladder with ease. But then, Justine recalled, Kazimir had always been very agile. That would account for why her own heart was racing as she clambered up after him. The airlock was small with the two of them in it. She told the smartcore to open the inner door, and led the way up the narrow companionway into the cabin.