“But I’m sure on a marginal case, no one will really notice-especially if you’re the only one who reads the original petition,” Nathan said.
“I don’t know,” Ben said, shaking his head and leaning against the counter. “I think your Napoleonic side is showing tonight. This is the Supreme Court. There’s a fierce code of ethics that goes along with it.”
“I still can’t believe you’re clerking for the Supreme Court,” Ober said as he peeled garlic over the sink. “The Supreme-fucking-Court! I’m answering phones, and you’re hanging out at the Supreme Court.”
“I guess you didn’t get your promotion,” Ben said.
“They completely dicked me over,” Ober said quietly. With two dimples that punctuated his pale cheeks and light freckles that dotted his nose, Ober was the only one of Ben’s roommates who still looked like he was in college. “The whole reason I went to Senator Steven’s office was because they said I’d only answer phones for a few weeks. That was five months ago.”
“Did you confront them?” Ben asked.
“I tried everything you said,” Ober explained. “I just can’t be as aggressive as you are.”
“Did you at least threaten to quit?” Ben asked.
“I kinda hinted at it.”
“Hinted at it?” Ben asked. “What’d they say?”
“They said they’re sorry to hold me up, but they’re gearing up for an election year. Plus, there are at least a hundred people who would take the job in a heartbeat. I think I might have to urinate on the personnel manager’s desk.”
“Now that’s a good idea,” Nathan said. “Urination is a solid response for a twenty-eight-year-old. I’ve always heard it’s the best path to a promotion.”
“You have to be more forceful,” Ben said. “You have to make them think losing you would be the end of the world.”
“And how do I do that?”
“You have to present the total package,” Ben explained. Noticing Ober’s white oxford shirt, he added, “And you have to dress the part. I told you before-don’t wear that shirt. With your freckles and that blond hair, you look like a total kid.”
“Then what am I supposed-”
“Here.” Ben took off his jacket and handed it to Ober. When Ober put it on, Ben said, “That fits you pretty well. I want you to wear my suit and tie. It’s a good make-an-impression suit. Tomorrow morning, you’ll go back into work and ask again.”
“I can’t ask again,” Ober said.
“Maybe you can write them a letter,” Nathan suggested to Ober. “That way you don’t have to do it face-to-face.”
“Absolutely,” Ben said. “If you want, I’ll draft it with you. Between the three of us, you’ll have a new job in no time.”
“I don’t know,” Ober said. Taking off the jacket, he handed it back to Ben. “Maybe we should just forget about it.”
“Don’t get frustrated,” Ben said. “We’ll get you through it.”
“Why don’t you tell Ben your scratch-off story,” Nathan said, hoping to change the subject.
“Oh, my God, I almost forgot! I’ll be right back.” Ober ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
“We’ve really got to help him,” Ben said.
“I know,” Nathan said. “Just let him tell his story-it’ll put him in a good mood.”
“Let me guess. Does it have anything to do with the lottery?”
“P. T. Barnum would’ve loved him like a son.”
“How can he be so addicted?”
“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” Nathan said. “You were in Europe for six weeks. Did you really expect the world to change while you were gone? Some things are immutable.”
“What took you so long?” Ben asked when Ober returned.
“You’ll see,” Ober began, his hands hidden behind his back. “So there I am, walking home from work in a pissy mood. Suddenly, I see a new poster in the window of Paul’s Grocery: WE GOT LOTTERY!”
“Grammar is everything at Paul’s,” Nathan interrupted.
Undeterred, Ober continued, “First I bought a scratch-off. I scratch it and I win a dollar, so I buy another ticket. Then I win two dollars!” His voice picked up speed. “Now I know I can’t lose. So I get two more tickets and I lose on one and win another dollar on the second.”
“This is where normal people stop,” Nathan interrupted.
“So I get this last ticket!” Ober continued. “And I scratch it off, and I win three bucks, which I use to buy Snickers bars for all of us!” From behind his back, he threw Snickers at Ben and Nathan.
“Unreal,” Nathan said as he opened his candy. “Do you realize that you jumped through every hoop that the lottery commission set up for you?”
“Who cares?” Ober asked. He swallowed a huge piece of his candy bar. “I haven’t had a Snickers in months. I figured it’d be a nice way to celebrate Ben’s first day of work.”
A half hour later, the three friends were seated at the kitchen table. “Honeys, I’m home!” Eric announced as he kicked open the front door.
“Can he have worse timing?” Nathan put down his fork as Ben and Ober headed toward the living room.
“The good son has returned!” Eric announced as soon as he saw Ben.
“It’s about time,” Ben said. “I thought you ran away.”
With a half-eaten sandwich in hand, Eric embraced his roommate. Wearing an unironed button-down and creased khakis, Eric was the sloppiest of the four. His thick black hair was never combed, and his face was rarely shaven. The darkness of his sparse beard was heightened by his bushy black eyebrows. Only a few millimeters from touching, they created the perception of a constantly furrowed brow. “Sorry about that,” Eric said. “I’ve had a deadline every night this week.”
“Every night?” Ben asked, confused. “For a monthly?”
“He doesn’t know about your job,” Nathan said, walking into the living room. “Remember? He hasn’t been here for six weeks.”
“No more Washington Life magazine?” Ben asked.
“No, sir,” Eric said. He scratched his head with vigorous pride. “Just when I thought I was going to spend the rest of my journalistic career covering local antique shows and the best new restaurants, I get a call from the Washington Herald. They had a staff writer opening in the political bureau. I started two weeks ago.”
“You’re working for a bunch of right-wingers?” Ben asked.
“Hey, it may be this city’s secondary paper, but it’s got circulation of eighty thousand, and they’re all mine!”
“That’s fantastic.” Ben slapped his friend on the back.
“And by the way,” Eric said to Ober, “guess what they’re putting on the crossword page?”
“Don’t toy with me…a word jumble?” Ober said, grabbing Eric by the front of his shirt.
“WORD JUMBLE!” Eric screamed. “Starting next month!”
“WORD JUMBLE!” Ober repeated.
“JUM-BLE! JUM-BLE! JUM-BLE!” the two friends chanted.
“Ah, what entertains the ignorant,” Nathan said, putting his arm around Ben’s shoulder.
“I have to admit, I really missed this,” Ben said.
“They don’t have simpletons in Europe anymore?” Nathan asked.
“Funny,” Ben said as he turned back to his jumble-obsessed roommates. “Hey, wonder twins, how about getting back to dinner?”
“I can’t,” Eric said. Taking another bite of his sandwich, he explained, “This is dinner for me. Tomorrow’s edition beckons.”
Later that evening, Nathan walked into Ben’s room, which was arguably the best-decorated room in the house. With his antique oak desk, oak four-poster bed, and oak bookcase, Ben was the only one of the four roommates to actually care about matching anything. Nathan had once thought about working on his room, but he reconsidered when he realized he was doing it just because Ben had done it. Three professionally framed black-and-white pictures hung on the wall over Ben’s bed: one of a half-completed Washington Monument, one of a half-completed Eiffel Tower, and one of a half-completed Statue of Liberty. Ben was a pack rat when it came to memorabilia. On his bookshelf were, among other things, the keys to his first car, a personalized belt buckle his grandfather had given him when he was nine years old, the hairnet Ober used to wear when he worked at Burger Heaven, the hideous tie Nathan had worn to his first day of work, the visitor’s pass he’d been given when he interviewed with Justice Hollis, and his favorite-the gavel Judge Stanley had given him when his clerkship ended.