They always seem to be able to find each other, and so Peter went over to Saint Nicholas’s earthly headquarters to wish him congratulations.
34
As he entered the compound where Saint Nicholas and his party were staying, he heard roaring laughter and drunken yells. It sounded like Geneva’s old town on a Friday night. It was a Spanish-style house, and through the window he could see men and women dancing around a huge Xmas tree. The señoritas were playing the castanets, and the men had their hands behind their backs and seemed to be doing a dance which resembled one of tap dancing’s ancestors. Men and women were wearing the heads of mice, to symbolize the animals which came with Nick and Peter from Spain. Peter made his way through the dozens of couples who’d come to get Nick to bless them with fertility. Nicholas was seated at the head of a long table; he had a huge barrel of wine to his lips and he was drinking it all down. It was like the party scene in Eisenstein’s Ivan the Terrible, as each elf at the table was trying to keep up with Nicholas. Nicholas was known all over the ancient world for his garish appetites, which explains why his followers were condemned in the Book of Revelations. Peter knocked on the door. It was finally answered by Destar D’Nooza, an elf with an evil temper. He was frowning, but when he saw Pete, his black eyes glistened with merriment. “Well, look who is here, you lost dis time.” Everybody turned toward the door. It became silent.
Nicholas stopped guzzling the wine. Pete walked in. He looked around the huge room which was covered with Xmas decorations: holly, ribbons, bows, poinsettias. In the middle of the feast was a wild boar with an apple in its mouth. There were huge bowls of fruit on the table, and before each guest was a Bemplatte, and a package of Rolaids. Tree lights. Stuffed stockings. Animal shaped cookies.
“Well, how do you like it, Pete?”
“You used to not go in for this kind of thing, Nick.”
“One changes with the times, Pete. Maybe that’s why I’m on the covers of all the magazines and you—”
“Look, I just came over to congratulate you. I thought what you did was marvelous. The Supreme Court Justice, the hard-boiled conservative newsman, and the others. I just don’t see how you’re going to be able to top that.”
“I plan to.” Nick turned to some of his chief elves and winked. “By the way. I heard that there was some impish person who was impersonating you, taking credit for all of your work. The fellow made a fortune, I understand. They said that you were angry, and were coming here to vanquish the unfortunate chap.”
“Yeah. He was in way over his head. I got distracted, though.”
“You always were a soft touch. I don’t know how you got the reputation for being so mean and nasty. Why you were the one who was always handing out the gifts and going down the chimney, while all I did was sit on my ass and ride a white horse.”
“So you finally acknowledge that.”
“Why not? This Xmas has solidified my reputation. I can afford to be generous.” Pete walked to the head of the table and shook hands with Nick. The elves and the guests applauded. Destar D’Nooza fumed. “Sure you won’t have something to drink, or a bite to eat? There’s plenty,” Nick said. He was wearing a wreath of laurels which he always donned for special occasions. “Destar, get Pete a glass of wine.”
“No, I think I’ll be heading on back.” D’Nooza was relieved.
“You mean you’re not bitter? Jealous?” Nick said, rising, and removing a turkey drumstick from his mouth.
“Naw. Forget about it. The best man won. I don’t have any excuses. Look at the turkey who was getting such a bad reputation from his classmate, the Japanese girl who wanted to be blonde, the musician who was dependent upon machines. He got back his chops. Certainly they were small, modest miracles, but they brought happiness to those people who experienced them. And what would have happened had I just returned to this place seeking revenge? History would have given me another black eye. No, I think I should be pleased with myself this season. Nick, you change the world; all I want to do is to help the little folk from time to time, individuals caught in situations that they can’t seem to get out of.”
Pete turned around and slowly walked out into the snow. As soon as he left the fiddle started up again, and the laughter and the drunken singing.
35
It was Xmas, and Nance had to leave his car in one of La Guardia’s parking lots. He rode the bus to the subway to head toward home. On the train a man was sitting across from him. The man looked familiar. Nance kept staring at him, and the man, perhaps feeling that he was being stared at, awoke. He looked as though he hadn’t shaved for days. His clothes were filthy, and a bruised knee was sticking out of a hole in his pants. His shoes lacked shoelaces, and he wasn’t wearing socks. His ankles were ashen and bony. His hair was in dreds and it looked dirty, as though it were covered with white powder. He had cuts all over his face, and his lips were busted as though he’d been in a fight. His military jacket was in shreds. Black Peter leveled a defiant gaze at Nance Saturday. “Hey, Bro. Can you give a fellow a dollar or two for some Xmas soup? I haven’t eaten today.” Nance reached into his coat pocket and gave the man a five-dollar bill.
“You look familiar,” Nance said.
“Yeah, you must have seen me in the newspapers.”
“Black Peter. That’s it. Boy, you sure did con your way up. I remember when you were with the ragtag band of weirdos. If you guys only knew the trouble you caused me.” Nance looked the man up and down.
“I had it made there for a while. They gave me this suite in a hotel and people waited on me, and satisfied my every desire. Now they’re backing Saint Nick.”
“But you were acquiring such a good press. Helping those people. Seems that your bosses would have liked that.”
“That wasn’t me who did all of that.”
“If it wasn’t you, then who was it?”
“I don’t know. This Xmas sure has been spooky. You see all of those people down in Washington testifying about seeing Saint Nick. Talking about cutting the defense budget. Universal health care and free day care, cradle-to-grave security like they got in those socialist countries.” Evidence of Nick’s success was immediately above their heads. There were ads showing Nick smiling next to products. Pete’s billboards had been taken down and his ads removed from the newspapers.