Jeremy Brown
THE TESTIMONY OF SATAN
Chapter One
Satan actually has a role to perform on Earth. He provides us with first-hand knowledge of how much authority can be granted to an angel in Heaven. God uses him to correct the folly of humankind, specifically when we are off track, pushing us beyond the comfort and light of God. Discomfort is not always the indication of sin; rather, sin is living outside the light of God. Sin is the result of crimes against God, others, and ourselves…
One dark, quiet night, I was shaken by a tumultuous tremble in the universe that rocked me from fear to a feeling beyond human comprehension. I was neither possessed, nor completely in control of my capacity to move or think… I was spoken to in words by a force that could only be deemed as complete evil, and thus Satan. It addressed itself as such and demanded I write. Who was I to be demanded as such? What or who was this? As a devout Christian, I knew I had not been forsaken, but I was afraid… and yet I was well protected. It was as if God, aware of all things, would allow me to be the hand to bring about an explanation of the evil we call Satan and to draw upon the reason for ‘his’ purpose on Earth, and ‘his’ twisted, reluctant, and indirect means to serve the will of God. Even though, Satan tries to serve himself, he fails, terribly. He spoke:
I held the highest position that could be held in Heaven, second only to the Creator, Himself. I was the worship leader of Heaven. I was Lucifer — the Light Bearer — with the ability to make a joyful noise. In the ears of God, this was an absolute perfection that lacked nothing. I did not require an instrument to assist me. For I had pipes embedded in my physical body. Not only did I have that, but I was a glorious sight to behold for I had the most precious stones beset in me. I know that I later came to kill, steal, and destroy. I know that I am a lair… and the father of all lies… I know that the Creator made all things that exist with the sole purpose of the good, yet I try to destroy them. I attempt to reconfigure all things for evil to the best of my ability. I know that I was demoted from the highest position in Heaven to the lowliest position among the damned upon Earth. You see there is little reason to explain to me who I am. I know exactly who I am and what my eternal purpose is… The question is for you know who you are and what your purpose is?
Do you know the power and ability you possess is the essence of the Most High? The Great “I Am”? You see, ever since I attempted to abuse my authority or rather assert my disrespect for authority, I have been attempting to entrust myself as a power greater than God who made me…. To place myself above God. I am eternally lost… There is not a second chance for me as there is for his beloved creation… you… When God sent his seed down to Earth through the virgin and allowed himself within this man to be crucified, he did this to satisfy and fulfill law and prophesy. He did that for you — humankind — not for the eternally-damned, fallen angels who follow me…. You should take full advantage of this act of selflessness that I will never understand…. Made for such pitiful creatures full of more folly that I or even my kind ever were in design… God-in-Jesus died for your sins… and in that He once and for all secured your eternity….. His blood upon this earth was the sacrifice of life for eternal life, greater than any covenant made between God and man, before or after the Christ…
My fate was sealed a long time ago… in all honesty — if you can imagine me uttering such a thing, Jesus came for the sins of man, not the acts of Satan. He saved you from yourselves, and I knew him to be one with God when he denied me and drove my minions from the sick and disturbed… I know that you will have a hard time believing anything I say, but I really have not been happy for a very long time… happiness runs from me like shadows run from the sun or the sea recedes for a time with the tide. I can no longer grasp peace, even in my triumphs at the suffering and pain of others. There is no happiness in the destruction of men… there is merely destruction… The age-old cliché “misery loves company’ is quite accurate — though I do not have the compassion to love… I suppose in my case misery longs to control company would be more appropriate. You may never fully understand the eternal misery I undergo, but I would love for you all to join me…
At that point, I shuttered… but the spirit of God did not leave me… and I was still full of God’s light despite this encounter with the lord of darkness… He was eerie in his approach to a number of things… It was as if he attempted to undo one form of contempt and use it as a fuel for me — for humanity to feel sorry for him… and in that sense feel compassion, further drawing weaker spirits into his doomed ranks… He continued:
I know you have heard that God is a jealous God… and He has every right to be… look at his supposed chosen… the Children of Israel — constantly turning to lesser beings or lack of beings thereof to place above or replace God — and yet He would punish, deliver, and receive them like any good father…. Nevertheless, they represent the flaw to be human of which I had no hand in creating and even a lesser hand in its deterioration… the state of humanity… especially at this time… when God created the first of us, He thought of everything that we could possibly need for all eternity — for He was eternal, yet we were immortal…. Long before the age of mortals… I was given so much authority that anything I spoke came to pass, just as the Creator had done… And with such power came happiness… and unfortunately pride… only true power of such magnitude can be held by God, for it corrupts all others… and pride that follows does binds all others to the evil of their own will… God had given me so many of his attributes, and yet he did not give me the essence of Him that would never allow my folly and malice to consume such perfection of a perfect being… Like a child who is given too much, I began to believe I was the sole root and reason for my being, and that God was my maidservant who was destined to bore and nurse me. I was the manifestation of pride… and before every sin… before every fall is pride… I believed in myself more than God, and thought myself better than He Who Is Everything.
As the thought was developing in mind to cast God, who I felt unworthy of His own opulence, influence, and exuberance out of the Kingdom of Heaven, immediately I was cast out… as if by my own hand… in that Michael and the others under God were of the same source, same spirit, but not same will… I was the problem… and I had to be removed… My removal was quicker than lightning appears and descends, yet my fall continues to this day… Ever since that moment, I realized I would never receive a second chance. But judge me not — for if you were in my position… well, most of you would have done the same thing… As a matter of fact, a number of you prove it here on this very planet. You return to your own vomit as a dog or a clean sow wallowing in the mud… You revel in sin and look upon rebelliousness as revolution when they are not one in the same… and all because of pride, believing you deserve it… You are so fortunate to be given more than one chance. Only if you knew how much dominion and authority you have been granted as the children of God. If only you had the highest level of understanding, then and only then would you know a portion of my knowledge, and see the folly of humankind is embedded in your very creation, but not your salvation from being more like… me… I won’t waste too much of my time trying to pull you toward me… unless you would be an extraordinary addition to my dominion… Most of you simply serve me by being drawn toward my entrapment of freedom whereas the Creator demands servitude in order to set you free. I tempted the Christ in the wilderness. I surely did. Yet, I knew — as he knew — since he and the Creator are one in the same that it was not the best use of my time. Christ knew who I was with a recollection of over millennia, long before his corporeal vessel came into being. Christ knew who he was long before all of us, both mortal and immortal knew who he truly was or rather “Who” lies within Him and in Whom he lies. I fled from Him, not solely because he was the Christ, but because He was and is God-in-Christ. I was like a rogue knight retreating from the eternal king… powerless to his omnipresence, omnipotence, omniscience… and above all… His grace….