Chapter 11
July 1st; Tuesday…
There had been a brief, hard summer squall just before Zoe Kohler left work. When she came out onto Madison Avenue, the pavement was steaming, gutters running with filth. The clogged air bit and stank of wet char.
She walked down to the office of Dr. Oscar Stark. She passed a liquor store, saw in the window a display of wines. She thought of the wineglass she had left in the hotel room of Chester LaBranche.
It was not a serious oversight-her fingerprints were not on file, anywhere-but the slipup bothered her. In many ways-in the Hotel Granger office, in the clean order of her home-she was a perfectionist. She knew it and found pride in it.
So this minor error annoyed her. It was the first mistake she could not blame on chance or accident. It depressed her because it tainted her adventure, made it bumbling happenstance instead of a clear statement of her will.
"Did you hear about the new murder?" the receptionist asked excitedly. "The Hotel Ripper again."
"I heard," Zoe Kohler said. "It's awful."
"Just awful," the woman agreed.
When Dr. Stark came into the examination room, preceded by a plume of cigar smoke, the first thing he said was, "Where's your bracelet?"
Her heart surged, then settled when she realized he was not referring to the gold links with the why not? legend, but to her medical identification strap stating she was a victim of Addison's disease.
"Uh, I took a shower this morning," she said, "and forgot to put it back on."
"Oh sure," he said. "But the kit's in your purse, isn't it?" Then, when she didn't answer, he said, "Zoe, Zoe, what am I going to do with you?"
He scanned the clipboard Gladys handed him. Then he commanded Zoe to stand and drop the sheet. He hitched the wheeled stool closer until his face was only inches from her sunken abdomen.
"Look at you," he said wrathfully. "Skin and bones! And look at this… and this… and this…"
He showed her the bronzy discolorations on her knees, elbows, knuckles, nipples. Then he plucked at her pubic hair, displayed what came away.
"See?" he demanded. "See? You're taking your medication?"
"Yes, I am. Every day."
He grunted. The remainder of the examination was conducted in silence. Because she was having her period, the pelvic probing and Pap smear were omitted.
It seemed to Zoe that he was not as gentle as usual. He was rough, almost savage, in his handling of her body. He ignored her gasps and groans.
"I'll see you in my office," he said grimly, picking up his cigar and stomping out.
He seemed a little calmer when she sat down facing him across his littered desk. He was, she saw, writing rapidly in her file.
Finally he tossed the pen aside. He relit his cold cigar. He pushed his glasses atop the halo of billowing white hair. He talked to the ceiling…
"Weight down," he said tonelessly. "Blood pressure up. Pulse rapid. Hyperpigmentation pronounced."
He brought his gaze down to stare into her eyes.
"Have you injured yourself?"
"No. Just that little cut on my leg. I told-"
"Have you been fasting? Have you stopped eating completely?"
"Of course not."
"Then you must be under some severe emotional or psychological stress that is affecting your body chemistry."
She was silent.
"Zoe," he said again in a kindlier tone, "what am I going to do with you? You come to me for advice and help. To assist you when you're ill or, better yet, to keep you healthy. Am I correct? For this, you pay me a fee, and I do my best. A nice relationship. But how can I do my job when you lie to me?"
"I don't lie to you," she said hotly.
He held up a palm. "All right, you don't lie. A poor choice of words. I apologize. But you withhold information from me, information I need to do my job. How can I help you if you refuse to tell me what I need to know?"
"I answer all your questions," she said.
"You don't," he said furiously. "You never tell me what I need to know. All right now, let's calm down, let's not get excited. We'll try again, very quietly, very logically. You are still taking the prescribed amount of cortisol?"
"Yes."
"And the salt tablets?"
"Yes."
"Do you have a craving for additional salt?"
"No."
"Your diet is well-balanced? You aren't on some faddish diet to lose weight fast?"
"No. I eat well."
"Any vomiting?"
"No."
"Nausea? Upset stomach?"
"No."
"Weakness?"
"Only during my period."
"Diarrhea or constipation?"
"No."
"When I probed your abdomen, you groaned."
"You hurt," she said.
"No," he said, "you hurt. The abdomen is tender?"
"I'm having my period," she protested.
"Uh-huh. And you're not wearing your bracelet or carrying your emergency kit?"
She didn't answer.
"Zoe," he said gently, "I want to put you in the hospital."
"No," she said immediately.
"Only for tests," he urged. "To find out what's going on here. I don't want to wait for your blood and urine tests; I want you in the hospital now. The last thing in the world we want is an Addisonian crisis. Believe me, it's no fun. We can prevent that if you go into the hospital now, and we can make tests I can't do here."
"I don't want to go into a hospital," she said. "I don't like hospitals."
"Who does? But sometimes they're necessary."
"No."
He sighed. "I can't knock you on the head and drag you there. Zoe, I think you should consult another physician. I think you may be happier with another doctor."
"I won't be happier. I don't want another doctor."
"All right, then I'll be happier. You won't tell me the truth. You won't follow my advice. I've done all I can for you. I really do think another physician will be better for both of us."
"No," she said firmly. "You can refuse to treat me if you want, but if you do, I won't go to anyone else. I just won't go to any other doctor."
They stared at each other. Something like a fearful wariness came into his eyes.
"Zoe," he said in a low voice, "I think there is a problem here. I mean a special problem that is not physical, that has nothing to do with Addison's, but is fueling the disease. You won't tell me about it, that's plain. I know a good man, a psychiatrist-will you talk to him?"
"What for? I don't have a special problem. Maybe I just need more medicine. Or a different medicine."
He drummed fingers on the desktop, looking at her reflectively. She sat quietly, legs crossed at the ankles, hands placidly clasped in her lap. She was expressionless, composed. Spine straight, head held high.
"I'll tell you exactly what I'm going to do," he said quietly. "I am going to wait until I have the results of your blood tests and urinalysis. If they show what I expect, I am going to call you and ask you once again to go into the hospital for further tests and treatment. If, at that time, you again refuse, I am going to call or wire your parents in Minnesota. I have their names and address in your file. I will explain the situation to them."
"You wouldn't," she said, gasping.
"Oh yes," he said, "I would, and will. At that time, the decision will be yours, and theirs. I'll have done everything I can possibly do. After that, it's out of my hands."
"And you'll just forget all about me," she said, beginning to weep.
"No," he said sadly, "I won't do that."
She stumbled home in the waning light of a summer night. The sky as bronzed as the tainted patches on her flesh. She saw, with dread, how ugly people were. Snout of pig and fang of snake.