Mademoiselle von Schwellenburg, putting herself in charge, made it clear that she intended to extract the utmost ceremony from the occasion. She signed for Madame Haggerdorn to hand the nightgown and she herself slipped it over Charlotte's head.
"I trust there is nothing Your Majesty needs.”
"No thank you," answered Charlotte.
"Then we beg Your Majesty's leave to retire." Yes, thought Charlotte, retire and leave me alone.
So they left her and she lay in her bed unable to think, scenes from this eventful day darting in and out of her mind. She saw herself entering the brightly lighted salon; she heard again her brother's impatient voice; she was lying on the couch; she could feel the cold touch of the Englishman's flesh against her own. And through it all she saw the brooding unhappy eyes of Christina. I believe, she thought, frightened as I am of what the future may hold, I shall not be sorry to go.
There was one more day of ceremony and then she left Strelitz. For ever, she thought, and she knew in her heart that it would be so. Farewell, brother, she thought, you who are so glad to see me go. Farewell Christina, my poor broken-hearted sister.
Her brother embraced her with a show of that new affection. Affection for a crown rather than a sister, she thought cynically. "You are going to a new country, sister. You are going to be a queen, but never forget you are a German; never forget your homeland.”
She knew what that meant. If ever she had an opportunity to bring good to Mecklenburg-Strelitz she must never neglect to do so.
"You are the most illustrious member of the family now," he told her with a smile.
And goodbye Christina. Forgive me for what I have done to you ... for if I had not written that letter it would have been your marriage we should have been celebrating. Of course there would not have been those thousands of candles; there would not have been the ceremonies; but you would have gone to your bridegroom so willingly and with such joy, whereas I go to mine ... But she had promised herself that she would not think of what awaited her in that remote land.
Mademoiselle von Schwellenburg's importance was growing hourly. The Queen must have this ...
must do that. She seemed to proclaim constantly: I am serving the Queen. No one in the Queen's retinue is as important as her dresser Schwellenburg; and both poor Haggerdorn and Albert seemed to agree with her.
Everyone was talking anxiously of the weather none more so than the Duke, who lived in terror that something would happen to delay his sister's departure for England. The day was overcast and inclined to be stormy when the cavalcade, consisting of thirty coaches, set out, and as they rode through the countryside the people from the villages came out to see them pass and gape in wonder, for it was a new experience to see a wedding procession and far more welcome than the soldiers to whom they were accustomed.
Charlotte took her last look at the schloss, trying to forget what she was leaving behind and to choke back the lump in her throat. She must smile all the while and speak gaily when anyone addressed her. Those were her brother's orders. She must not offend the English by letting them think that her great good fortune in marrying their kind did not make up for all the bereavements she had suffered.
She would feel better, she told herself, when she reached Stade, for there she would meet the English party who had crossed the seas for the purpose of escorting her to her new country; once she was on the boat she would really feel that she had left the past behind. As the party rode into Stade the wind was blowing fiercely but the bells were ringing and the cannons were firing in her honour.
Charlotte looked up at the lowering sky and said to Schwellenburg, "We shall never embark in weather like this.”
"It would be most unpleasant, Your Majesty, and unsafe.”
"So we have a little longer in Germany.”
Charlotte sighed, uncertain whether to be pleased or sorry. At one moment she longed to get on, to come face to face with her bridegroom; but the next she was hoping to be able to postpone the encounter.
They had come to rest at a small schloss where they would spend the night; and as Lord Harcourt came to help her from her carriage he told her that the party from England had arrived and were waiting to greet her. As she stepped inside the schloss she saw them waiting for her and how magnificent they seemed in their brocades and velvets, as they came forward to kneel and pay homage to their queen! Their queen! She could scarcely believe that the odd and rather ridiculous ceremony made her so.
"And Your Majesty, your new ladies in waiting, the Marchioness of Lome and the Duchess of Ancaster. She stared at them. She had never seen such women before. They were like goddesses.
It was their rich garments. No, it was not. That smooth skin which they both possessed; those magnificent eyes; the abundant hair coiled about shapely heads; the grace; the charm. She had always known that she was plain; now she believed that she was ugly.
"At Your Majesty's service.”
She heard herself say incredulously in French, because so far most of these English seemed to prefer it to German, "Are all English women as beautiful as you?”
The ladies laughed and said: "Your Majesty is gracious.”
It did not answer the question and as others were presented to her she scarcely noticed them for she was thinking of what the King would do when he saw her. If he were accustomed to women who looked like these two, and she had to face the fact that she had never seen any so lovely and there were two of them, what would he think of his new bride? She was frightened now.
"Your Majesty is tired." It was kind Lord Harcourt at her elbow.
She admitted that she was and he suggested that she announce her intention to retire to the apartments which had been prepared for her. There she studied herself in the mirror. How ugly her mouth was ... so wide and thin! She thought of the beautifully moulded lips of the English women pink tinted; she kept hearing the laughter in their voices when she had asked if all their countrywomen were as beautiful. And they had not answered.
Schwellenburg came in and because Charlotte was caught looking in the mirror she said: "The English women are so beautiful. I fear the King will be disappointed when he sees me.”
"He chose Your Majesty," was the answer.
"Without seeing me.”
"Both those women seem very flighty to me.”
"I suppose when one is as beautiful as they are one can be forgiven all else.”
"Nonsense, begging Your Majesty's pardon.”
"Oh, Schwellenburg, I'm apprehensive.”
"What, Your Majesty! And you a Queen!”
"Of very short duration. What if he should decide that I'm too ugly to marry and sends me back?”
"He could hardly do that. Your Majesty forgets that he's married to you already by proxy.”
Charlotte sighed. It was not the answer she wished; she wanted reassurance; she longed to be told that she was not so ugly as she feared. But Schwellenburg would not flatter; she answered with the logical truth. Charlotte was plain; it was likely that if the King were expecting a beauty he would be disappointed; but all the same the proxy ceremony had taken place and whatever he thought he would have to take her now.
"It's all so hurried," she complained.
"Schwellenburg, does it not seem to you a trifle mysterious?”
But to Schwellenburg it did not seem in the least mysterious. The marriage had been made as many royal marriages were. If Charlotte could provide her husband with children, in Schwellenburg's opinion no one could complain. Lord Harcourt was asking for an audience. She greeted him with pleasure, but he was looking grave.
"I have messages from His Majesty the King," he told her.