"Not at the breakfast table." she cried.
But Sarah began to laugh and set the creature on the table. "Is he not a little darling?" demanded Sarah.
"I refuse to have him on the breakfast table," declared Lady Caroline.
But Sarah was looking appealingly at her brother-in-law. Henry Fox thought her a little idiot, but she amused him and was so pretty so he said: "Don't be hard on poor Sarah, Caroline. She has suffered three bereavements so recently the death of her little squirrel, that of Beau her horse ...”
Sarah's eyes filled with tears at the recollection.
"Not to mention," went on Mr. Fox as though he were addressing the House of Commons, 'the King of England.”
"Oh, dear Mr. Fox," sighed Sarah plaintively, 'do not bring up that stale matter again. I am so sick of the King and his wedding.”
"Sarah, for God's sake try to be sensible," pleaded Caroline. "I know it is difficult for you ...”
"Very," sighed Sarah mischievously. "Don't you love the way he rolls into a ball. Look at those spikes.”
Caroline sighed and looked at her husband who shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention to his food. "People are going to be sorry for you, Sarah," went on Caroline.
"Why?”
"Oh, don't be absurd. You are the most publicly jilted woman in England.”
"I shall be very cool to him when we meet and show I don't care in the least.”
"Try to be sensible. This is the King.”
Sarah was silent, eating stolidly.
"The wedding will be delayed, I doubt not," Mr. Fox was saying, 'on account of the death of the bride's mother.”
"Perhaps," put in Lady Caroline hopefully, 'it will not take place at all.”
"Little fear or hope of that. I have no doubt that the Duke of Strelitz is not going to miss such an opportunity,”
"He has more sense than some foolish people.”
Sarah groaned. "How we do return to the same point in this house," she said.
"It is not every house which has a member of the family so foolish as to throw away a crown.”
"George is a fool," cried Sarah. "If he had not been he wouldn't have let them persuade him and he would have asked me himself ... not through Susan. If you ask me I'm well rid of him.”
"Well rid of a crown, the power to do your family good, to bear a king?" said Caroline.
Sarah looked at her sister helplessly. "There are other things we might talk of. What of our sister Emily's confinement? Is that not more important than my being jilted?”
"Nothing that has ever happened to this family is more important than your being jilted by the King.”
Sarah picked up her hedgehog and flounced out of the room. "I'm sick of all this talk, Sukey," she said to the hedgehog, and she laughed for she had named him after her friend Susan Fox- Strangeways to whom she had given the nicknames of Sukey and Pussy.
"But Sukey was more suitable, for you, Sukey," she said. "You could hardly be Pussy could you?
I have an idea that might have offended your dignity.”
Reaching her room she did what she enjoyed doing when she wished to soothe herself: wrote to Susan.
"Dearest Susan ..." She paused and thought what fun it would be if Susan were here. Everything seemed a joke then, although Susan was far more serious than she was. If George had had any sense he would have fallen in love with Susan rather than her. She was sure Susan would have known how to deal with the matter. There! she was as bad as her sister and brother-in-law; the thing was constantly in her mind. It occurred to her that Susan might not yet have heard the news of the King's proposed marriage. Could it be that it had not yet reached Somerset? She wrote rapidly: To begin to astonish you as much as I was, I must tell you that he is going to be married to a Princess of Mecklenburg ... Does not your choler rise at this ... But you will think, I daresay, that I have been doing some terrible thing to deserve it, for you won't be easily brought to change your opinion of any person; but I assure you I have not. I have been in his company very often since I last wrote to you, but though nothing was said he always took pains to show me some preference by talking twice and they were mighty kind speeches and looks. Even last Thursday the day after the news came out, the hypocrite had the face to come up and speak to me with all the good humour in the world and seemed to want to speak to me but was afraid ...
Sarah laid down her pen and thought: I am angry with him after all. He has behaved badly, and when I next see him I shall show him what I think of him.
She wrote rapidly and went on to say: In short, his behaviour is that of a man who has neither sense, good nature nor honesty. I shall have to see him on Thursday night, and I shall take care to show that I am not mortified to anybody, but if it is true that one can vex anyone with a reserved cold manner, he shall have it, I promise him.
Now as to what I think about it myself, excepting this little revenge, I have almost forgiven him.
Luckily for me I did not love him and only liked him, nor did the title weigh anything with me; so little at least, that my disappointment did not affect my spirits above one hour or two I believe. I did not cry, I assure you, which I believe you will, as I know you were more set upon it than I was. The thing I am most angry at is looking so like a fool ... but I don't much care. If he were to change his mind again (which can't be though) and not give me a very good reason for his conduct I would not have him, for if he is so weak as to be governed by everybody I should have a bad time of it...
She paused, smiling. How easy it was to understand one's true feelings when one set them on paper to friends with whom one could be entirely candid as with dear Sukey. She was piqued. She did care a little. But not much ... not so much as she had cared about the death of her squirrel or her darling Beau.
She took up her pen and wrote: I charge you not to mention this to anyone but your parents and desire them not to speak of it, for it will be said we, invent stories and he will hate us anyway, for one generally hates people that one is in the wrong with and that knows one has acted wrongly ...
It was true, she thought. But George was perhaps too weak to hate anyone. He was at heart kind, she was sure, so perhaps it would not have been so bad to marry him. She sighed and hastily finished off her letter.
His bride's mother had died. The wedding would be postponed. Was it possible ...? When all was said and done there was some satisfaction in being a queen.
There was consternation at Holland House. Lady Caroline was furious; she paced up and down the drawing room unable to control her anger. "I never heard the like. How dare he! It's an added insult.”
Mr. Fox tried to calm her. "It had to be, Sarah's position demands that she should be invited. In fact it would have been a bigger slight not to invite her than to do so.”
"She must refuse," insisted Lady Caroline.
Lady Kildare, recently delivered of a child, said that she was unsure what should be done about the matter, but her husband said: "Sarah should go. What is going to be said if she refuses.”
"It is the most humiliating business I ever heard," declared Lady Caroline.
"Let's see what Sarah herself thinks," suggested Mr. Fox.
"Sarah!" spat out Caroline. "Sarah has no opinions about anything but horses and hedgehogs ...
and perhaps squirrels. Sarah is a fool as we have learned in the bitterest manner possible.”
"Poor Sarah." murmured Mr. Fox. "At least she should be allowed to give an opinion.”
Mr. Fox summoned a servant and asked that the Lady Sarah come to the drawing room. As soon as Sarah entered it was clear to the gathered family that she knew what matter was under discussion.
"I've decided to go," she announced.