The Throwback

Lockhart's mind worked more practically. To him Jessica was an angel of radiant beauty for whom he would lay down, if not his own life, at least that of anything which moved within range of his most powerful rifle.

But while the young people were only implicitly in love, the old were more outspoken. Mr Flawse, having baited the trap for another housekeeper, waited for Mrs Sandicott's response. It came later than he had expected. Mrs Sandicott was not a woman to be hustled and she had calculated with care. Of one thing she was certain. If Mr Flawse wanted Jessica for his daughter-in-law he must take her mother for his wife. She broached the subject with due care and by way of the mention of property.

'If Jessica were to marry,' she said one evening after dinner, 'I would be without a home.'

Mr Flawse signalled his delight at the news by ordering another brandy. 'How so, ma'am?' he inquired.

'Because my poor dear late husband left all twelve houses in Sandicott Crescent, including our own, to our daughter and I would never live with the young married couple.'

Mr Flawse sympathized. He had lived long enough with Lockhart to know the hazards of sharing a house with the brute. 'There is always Flawse Hall, ma'am. You would be very welcome there.'

'As what? A temporary guest or were you thinking of a more permanent arrangement?'

Mr Flawse hesitated. There was an inflexion in Mrs Sandicott's voice which suggested that the permanent arrangement he had in mind might not be at all to her liking. 'There need be nothing temporary about your being a guest, ma'am. You could stay as long as you liked.'

Mrs Sandicott's eyes glinted with suburban steel. 'And what precisely would the neighbours make of that, Mr Flawse?'

Mr Flawse nesitated again. The fact that his nearest neighbours were six miles off at Black Pockrington, and that he didn't give a tuppenny damn what they thought, presented a prospect that had lost him too many housekeepers already and was unlikely to appeal to Mrs Sandicott.

'I think they would understand,' he prevaricated. But Mrs Sandicott was not to be fobbed off with understandings. 'I have my reputation to think of,' she said. 'I would never consent to staying alone in a house with a man without there being some legal status to my being there.'

'Legal status, ma'am?' said Mr Flawse and took a swig of brandy to steady his nerves. The bloody woman was proposing to him.

'I think you know what I mean,' said Mrs Sandicott.

Mr Flawse said nothing. The ultimatum was too clear.

'And so if the young couple are to be married,' she continued remorselessly, 'and I repeat "if", then I think we should consider our own futures.'

Mr Flawse did and found it an uncertain one. Mrs Sandicott was not a wholly unattractive woman. Already in his dozing fantasies he had stripped her naked and found her plump body very much to his taste. On the other hand wives had disadvantages. They tended to be domineering and while a domineering housekeeper could be sacked a wife couldn't, and Mrs Sandicott for all her deference seemed to be a strong-minded woman. To spend the rest of his life with a strong-minded woman was more than he had bargained for, but if it meant getting the bastard Lockhart off his hands it might be worth the risk. Besides there was always the isolation of Flawse Hall to tame the strongest-minded woman and he would have an ally in Mr Dodd. Yes, definitely an ally in Mr Dodd and Mr Dodd was not without resource. And finally if he couldn't sack a wife nor could the wife leave like a housekeeper. Mr Flawse smiled into his brandy and nodded.

'Mrs Sandicott,' he said with unaccustomed familiarity, 'am I right in supposing that it would not come averse to you to change you name to Mrs Flawse?'

Mrs Sandicott beamed her assent. 'It would make me very happy, Mr Flawse,' she said, and took his mottled hand.

'Then allow me to make you happy, ma'am,' said the old man, with the private thought that once he'd got her up to Flawse Hall she'd get her fill of happiness one way or another. As if to celebrate this forthcoming union of the two families the ship's band struck up a foxtrot. When it had finished Mr Flawse returned to more practical matters.

'I must warn you that Lockhart will need employment,' he said. 'I had always intended to keep him to manage the estate he will one day inherit but if your daughter has twelve houses…'

Mrs Sandicott came to his rescue. 'The houses are all let and at rents fixed by the Rent Tribunal on long leases,' she said, 'but dear Lockhart could always join my late husband's firm. I understand he is clever with figures.'

'He has had an excellent grounding in arithmetic. I have no hesitation in saying so.'

'Then he should do very well at Sandicott & Partner, Chartered Accountants and Tax Consultants,' said Mrs Sandicott.

Mr Flawse congratulated himself on his foresight. 'Then that is settled,' he said. 'There remains simply the question of the wedding.'

'Weddings,' said Mrs Sandicott, emphasizing the plural. 'I had always hoped that Jessica would have a church wedding.'

Mr Flawse shook his head. 'At my age, ma'am, there would be something incongruous about a church wedding to be so closely followed by a funeral. I would prefer a more cheerful venue. Mind you, I disapprove of registry offices.'

'Oh so do I,' Mrs Sandicott agreed, 'they are so unromantic.'

But there was nothing unromantic about the old man's reluctance to see Lockhart married in a registry office. It had dawned on him that without a birth certificate it might be impossible to marry the swine off at all. And besides there was still the fact of his illegitimacy to be concealed.

'I see no reason why the Captain shouldn't marry us,' he said finally. Mrs Sandicott thrilled at the notion. It combined speed and no time for second thoughts with an eccentricity that was almost aristocratic. She could boast about it to her friends.

'Then I'll see the Captain about it in the morning,' said Mr Flawse, and it was left to Mrs Sandicott to break the news to the young couple.

She found them on the boat-deck whispering together. For a moment she stood and listened. They so seldom spoke in her presence that she was curious to know what they did say to one another in her absence. What she heard was both reassuring and disturbing.

'Oh, Lockhart.'

'Oh, Jessica.'

'You're so wonderful.'

'So are you.^'

'You really do mean that?'

'Of course I do.'

'Oh, Lockhart.^!

'Oh, Jessica.'

Under the gleaming moon and the glittering eye of Mrs Sandicott they clasped one another in their arms and Lockhart tried to think what to do next. Jessica supplied the answer.

'Kiss me, darling.'

'Where?' said Lockhart.

'Here?' said Jessica and offered him her lips.

'There?' said Lockhart. 'Are you sure?'

In the shadow of the lifeboat Mrs Sandicott stiffened. What she had just heard but couldn't see was without doubt nauseating. Either her future son-in-law was mentally deficient or her daughter was sexually more sophisticated, and in Mrs Sand-icott's opinion positively perverse, than she had ever dreamt-Mrs Sandicott cursed those damned nuns. Lockhart's next remark confirmed her fears.

'Isn't it a bit sticky?'