‘I’m sorry, Alex. I …’
Alex waved a hand. ‘Come on, Serl. What’s the matter this time? Is it that arse Richer again?’ he asked, leaning forward keenly. ‘If it is, I’ll deal with him.’
‘No. It’s just that bitch Athelina. I wish she’d killed herself out on the road and saved us all this trouble!’
Alex allowed a short frown to cross his face. Letitia knew he hated to hear women slighted.
‘You ought to show her a little more compassion, brother. She’s dead, isn’t she?’
‘Oh, stuff that. She was asking for it. Useless baggage. Never did a decent day’s work after her husband died, did she? No. As for those squalling brats … I’m not surprised she topped them first. I’d have done it for her if I’d had a chance.’
Alex sucked on his teeth. ‘What is the problem?’
‘You know how behind she was with her rent. I told her to get out if she couldn’t pay. Said she must find the money somehow or I’d break one of the boys’ legs.’
‘And? Is that all you said?’
‘She didn’t pay.’ Serlo shrugged.
Letitia watched him with a feeling of intense, sickening rage. She daren’t open her mouth in case she screamed abuse at him for using those words, those cruel, horrible, unrepeatable words. In that moment, she learned what true hatred was.
‘I’d have done it if she had the cash and was holding out on me, but since she hadn’t, what was the point?’ Serlo continued. ‘There wasn’t any way she could get that money together. She had nothing. I’d asked for it so we could empty the place and put someone in for more money, but now! Well, how in God’s name can we find new tenants when it’s crawling with guards and the castle’s men? And even then, it’ll take a load of money to get the stench of death from it. Who’s going to want to live in a place that smells of filth?’
‘Blood isn’t filth,’ Alex remonstrated quietly. Letitia thought he should have bellowed. When she looked at his still, inexpressive features, she saw that in his heart he had.
‘The blood of two bastards and their bitch of a mother is. She must have rutted like a stoat before her husband died. Probably wore him out — that’s why he had that fall.’
Letitia felt as though the air itself was starting to throttle her as Serlo continued his vile tirade. Her face was reddened in shame and self-disgust, she could feel it. It was almost as though her head could explode from the pressure of her humiliation.
Serlo must have known that she and Alex had been trying for a child all their married life, while he himself, who had been married only half as long, had already managed to produce two boys.
All those nights when she had sweatily and hopefully rutted with Alex, all those happy days when she thought her monthly time was going to be missed, and the despair when she had suddenly felt the menstrual ache grip her abdomen.
They had agreed now that they couldn’t continue like that. There was no point in worrying about children, not when every other aspect of their lives was so good. Their marriage was strong, much more so than those of many others, and Alex was growing ever more successful in his work, so there was no need to torture themselves any more. Better by far to enjoy the lives they had and hope that some day God would reward their patience. The barrenness could be caused by any number of problems and Alex, bless him, was as aware as Letitia herself that the culprit could be either of them. There were as many dogs who couldn’t father a litter, or bulls a calf, as there were barren bitches and cows.
Their lives had taken on a relaxed, even tenor since their agreement. They made love whenever they wanted now, rather than when Letitia thought it was most conducive. There was less straining, more loving. Alex was a kind lover, and Letitia had never doubted that he adored her. He often told her so.
And now here was his moronic brother throwing their failure in their faces like sand.
Serlo had no idea he was doing it. He couldn’t ever get beyond his own petty desires and fears. Those of other people were irrelevant to him. Letitia felt her anger rise, peak, and then begin to subside. It was as Alex had always said: his brother was spoiled, and Alex was largely at fault for that. When Serlo had made a mistake, he rarely had to own up. It was Alex who shouldered all the responsibility.
She looked at her brother-in-law. Now he was going on about the folk up at the castle. He’d had enough of Alex’s strong ale to make him more calm, more expansive, and he sat back on his bench like a toad after eating a dragonfly, a broad grin on his face, his belly protruding. Letitia thought him never so repellent as when he sprawled back like this.
‘That little filly Nicholas caught is showing now. Have you seen her?’
Alex sighed. ‘Yes, but what of it? I heard she might be with child a long while ago.’
‘Ah, but who’s the father? That’s what I’d like to know.’
Alex shot a look at Letitia, but she was calm enough now. She shrugged slightly, then gave him a half-smile. Before long she’d go out and make sure that her chickens were all locked up, and then she’d leave them to it. The pair of them could talk for hours when the mood took them.
Alex returned her smile, but she could see that he was annoyed. ‘This sounds like more tavern gossip.’
‘Why don’t you speak your mind, Serlo?’ Letitia said, perhaps more sharply than she truly intended. ‘What do you mean to imply? Don’t just repeat rumours!’ Alex gave her a quick look, but Letty didn’t care. She was staring angrily at Serlo. ‘Well?’
‘There’ve always been rumours about her, haven’t there? ’Twas said Gervase had his eye on her. I reckon he’s been forking hay in the wrong barn!’
‘Oh, don’t be so stupid!’ Letitia said scornfully, but then Alex held up his hand.
‘Why do you think that, Serlo?’
‘I saw them,’ the miller said smugly. ‘I saw them together, when they didn’t realise there was anyone about. Athelina too — she was there. It was four or five months ago, just before that last cold spell when the rain started a couple of days after. You remember? Well, I saw them down by the river, walking along the bank. They’d been over to the fields, I think, but then they stopped and sat by the river for a while. He put his arm about her, and-’
‘This is sheer malicious nonsense!’ Letitia burst out. ‘I don’t believe a word of it.’
‘If this is true,’ Alex said, ‘why didn’t you mention it before?’
Serlo gave a half-shrug. ‘What was the point? It wouldn’t do any good, would it?’
‘So why mention it now?’ Alex demanded astutely. ‘There’s a reason, isn’t there?’
‘You heard what Richer accused me of doing,’ Serlo muttered with embarrassment. ‘Taking gifts instead of tolls. I’m sorry about that.’
‘You admit it?’ Alex asked.
‘I did ask for cash from a couple of people, but nothing more than that.’
Alex had stood, and now he towered over Serlo with an expression of such hurt in his eyes that Letty found it hard to watch him.
‘So you lied to me, and then stole from me, Serl? All you had to do was ask, and I’d have helped you. Instead you cheated me.’
‘It wasn’t really like that.’
‘One third of the tolls were for me, but you didn’t take the tolls. That means you stole from me,’ Alex said quietly, and passed a hand over his face, sitting again as though exhausted. ‘Anyway, what is this about? Why mention Lady Anne now?’
‘I thought I could ask her to ensure that Gervase doesn’t press the matter. She wouldn’t want her affair in the open, would she? And I could even charge a higher toll, maybe? If the steward was squared, we could ask what we wanted!’
‘You’ve kept it quiet all this time so you could fleece the travellers?’ Letitia said scathingly. ‘How good.’
‘Which makes me wonder why this has occurred to you now,’ Alex said.
Serlo’s face lengthened. ‘That bastard Richer’s determined to see me suffer, and the men I stopped today, they’ll try to make sure he’s supported in the castle’s court. One of them’s a Keeper, and the other one’s a Bailiff. I don’t stand much hope against them, unless Gervase squashes it.’