Jake rushed into the house, clutching two bulging bags of groceries. “Dad? What happened? Whose car is—” He saw Becca and froze. He dropped the bags to the floor, and Becca heard the crunch of breaking glass.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jake roared. His voice filled the tiny room. However frightening he had sounded when he had threatened Laine, it was nothing compared to now.
Her thoughts of confrontation evaporated. “I came to ask you something, but it wasn’t important. I was just leaving.”
Yellow liquid seeped out of one of the grocery bags. Jake either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “How dare you come into my home? How dare you come near my family?”
“I wasn’t… he thought…” Becca gave up on explanations. She started for the door, but Jake was still standing between her and the way out.
Jake slowly walked up to her until his toes touched hers. Abruptly, his voice dropped to a whisper. “If you ever come near my father again,” he hissed, “I’ll kill you.”
Before Becca could react, Jake grabbed for her. He dug his fingers into her arm and propelled her out the door. She only just managed to stay on her feet.
“Get out!” he screamed as she ran for the car.
From her vantage point at the top of the slide, Becca spotted the rust-ridden death trap of a car as soon as it pulled up.
The engine shut off with a strangled growl. Becca knew who was inside before the driver’s-side door opened. That was the same car that had been parked beside hers when she had left Jake’s house an hour ago.
Jake walked across the playground to her. He stopped at the bottom of the slide. “I was hoping you’d be here.” His smile was nowhere to be found. Instead, his face was a mess of relief and hope and fear. He looked… vulnerable. His shoulders were hunched; he walked with small, hesitant steps. A jarring contrast to his earlier fury.
“I thought you didn’t ever want to see me again.” She managed to keep most of the fear out of her voice.
“I’m sorry about what happened back there. I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.” He sounded like a different person. All his carefree confidence was gone.
He watched her like he was waiting for an answer. She didn’t give him one. What was she supposed to say? It’s okay that you lied to me, tried to manipulate me, and then threatened to kill me. That wasn’t going to happen. Not without a really good reason.
Seeing him down there reminded her of the first time she had run into him at the playground. She frowned at the memory. It had taken her almost twenty minutes to get back here from Jake’s house this afternoon… and yet Jake had just happened to come here the other day to think? Becca’s skin prickled.
When she didn’t answer, Jake motioned her down the ladder. “Come down here and we’ll talk.”
“I’d rather not.” She crouched in a defensive position, waiting for him to climb the ladder after her.
Instead, he sat at the bottom of the rusted slide. “Why did you come to my house, anyway?”
Now that she didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger, Becca’s earlier anger began to boil up, overtaking her fear.
She was so sick of being lied to.
“I’m not the one who needs to explain myself. If you’re not working for Internal, why did you want to know about Heather? Why did you take me on that date? Why did you lie about your mom? Who did your dad think I was?” Her voice rose with every question. “And why did you go nuts when I came to your house?”
“I told you,” said Jake. Not angry like she had expected. Quiet. Defeated. “I wanted to know about Heather because I didn’t think it was right the way everyone was treating her. That’s it. And I took you out to dinner because I like you—is that so hard to believe? As for the rest…” He looked up at her with pleading eyes. “Can’t you just forget about all that?”
Becca raised her eyebrows. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what was wrong with me. As soon as I realized what I had said to you…” He hunched over, curling his hands into fists. “I just want to make things right.”
“If you don’t want to tell me the truth, fine,” said Becca. “You leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone. But don’t try to pretend we have some kind of relationship, and don’t ever lie to me again.”
“Please. Let’s start over.” He sounded like the words were choking him, like Becca’s answer was a matter of life and death.
“I already gave you that chance. We’re going in circles here. Tell me what’s going on, or don’t talk to me again.”
She waited… and waited. He didn’t speak. He didn’t even move.
He wasn’t going to answer her.
But he didn’t look like he was planning on leaving, either. And Becca couldn’t stay here all night.
He didn’t hurt me earlier, even as angry as he was, she told herself. He won’t hurt me now. But the hate in his voice when he had threatened Laine still echoed in her ears.
She started climbing down the ladder.
Jake didn’t move as she made it to the bottom of the ladder, as she began walking toward the road. She paused and looked back at him one more time. He was still sitting a the bottom of the slide, eyes closed, fists clenched. She couldn’t even tell whether he knew she had moved.
Becca wanted to scream at him, to rush up and shake him until some sort of logical explanation fell out. But no matter what Jake told her, it wouldn’t be what she wanted. He could explain what he had done, but he could never explain her mother.
She kept walking.
As she reached the road, Jake called after her. “Wait.”
She stopped.
“I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
Becca waited while Jake dragged himself across the sea of weeds. When he reached her, he opened his mouth, then closed it again. It took him a moment to get the words out.
“Three years ago, Internal arrested me and my family.” It came out in a rush. “We weren’t dissidents. A friend of my dad’s was staying with us that year, and it turned out he was publishing a dissident newspaper. We didn’t find out until it was too late.” He looked at her with fear in his eyes. “We weren’t dissidents,” he repeated.
Most people probably wouldn’t have believed his denials. But Becca’s mom had told her stories most people never heard. Every once in a while, Internal made a mistake.
Of course, that was what she had kept telling herself about Heather’s parents.
But her mom had kil— They had been executed. Jake and his dad were still alive. Just like Heather.
“They let you go,” she said, thinking aloud. “So they must have realized they were wrong about you.”
Jake nodded. “But not until… not for a while. My mom died in there.”
Had they made her confess to something she hadn’t done? She tried to push the thought away. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s over now.” Jake moved his shoulders in a convulsive imitation of a shrug. “But that’s why I got like that when I saw you at my house. No one ever comes there—just me and my dad. And you saw what he’s like now. He’s… fragile. When I saw you inside, all I could think was that someone might hurt him.”
And no wonder, after what had happened to his mom. She shuddered.
“And that’s why I was asking about Heather,” Jake continued. “I wasn’t spying for anyone. I just wanted to know how she was doing, because I know what it’s like.”
“So why talk to me?” Becca asked. “Why not go to her directly?”
“I didn’t know if she’d want to talk to me. I figured she might just want to be left alone. Besides…” He paused. “It wasn’t just about Heather. I wanted to get to know you.”