“I checked your phone. You two have been talking a lot over the past couple of weeks.”
Becca stopped mid-yawn. “Wait. You read my texts?”
“You told me you thought Jake was working for Surveillance. There has to be a reason you were suspicious of him.”
“I was wrong about him. You had no right to go through my phone.”
Her mom looked down at the phone and pursed her lips. “You haven’t given me much reason to trust your judgment when it comes to friends lately.”
“You mean Heather,” Becca said flatly. She could always tell her mom the truth—that she and Heather hadn’t spoken in almost three weeks—but no matter how things were between her and Heather, she needed her mom to know that she still stood by her friend, that she didn’t believe Heather was a dissident.
“Yes. I mean Heather.” Her mom shifted on the bed so she could look directly at Becca. “And now this Jake. Three weeks ago, you were sure he had ulterior motives. Now you two are… friends? More than friends?”
Becca wasn’t sure what they were. For now, it didn’t matter. She was someone who knew his history but wouldn’t call him a dissident, the only person who hadn’t started whispering behind his back after he had broken his invisibility rule by stepping in to help Heather. He was someone who was willing to talk to her, who could make her forget about Heather and her mother for moments at a time. They would figure out the rest as they went along. “We’re… talking.”
“And whatever made you suspicious of him doesn’t matter anymore?”
Her mom didn’t even accept her friendship with Heather. What would she think of Jake, if she knew Internal had arrested him? If her mom was willing to condemn Heather based on what her parents had done, Becca doubted it would matter that Internal had realized their mistake and let Jake go.
Becca tried to force her half-asleep brain to think. “I guess I got paranoid after what happened with Heather. It seemed strange for him to ask me out when everyone else was treating me like a disease. So when he asked me about Heather, I assumed that had to be the reason.”
“I can’t control who you spend your time with,” said her mom. “But if you’re going to keep talking to this person, I want to meet him. You should invite him over for dinner sometime.”
Becca started shaking her head before her mom had even finished her sentence. “I told you I was wrong about him. I’m not allowed to be wrong about somebody?”
“I’m not saying you couldn’t have been wrong about him before. I’m concerned that you might be wrong about him now.”
“You used to trust my judgment.” That wasn’t the real problem, though. For the first time in her life, she didn’t care what her mom thought of her. But after what Jake had gone through, how could she bring him here to eat across the table from the one person who most represented Processing?
“That was before you insisted on maintaining a friendship with the daughter of two dissidents.”
If Heather is a dissident because of her parents, what does being your daughter make me? “You said yourself, you can’t control who I spend time with.”
“That doesn’t mean I won’t do what I can to protect you.” Her mom sat a little straighter. “You can let me meet him, or I can have Investigation look into him.”
Becca’s mouth fell open. “Because you think anyone I’m friends with must be a dissident?”
“Because he was asking you suspicious questions about the daughter of confirmed dissidents. Your suspicions, whether or not you still have them, are more than enough for Internal to take an interest.”
Becca felt sick. Had her mom been like this all along? How had she never noticed? “So if I don’t let you meet him, you’ll report him as a dissident for something I said when I didn’t even know him?”
“Of course not!” Her mom looked scandalized, and vaguely disgusted. “You think I would compromise my integrity by reporting him as a dissident, with practically nothing to support that accusation, because I was worried about his relationship with you?” She shook her head. “I would have Surveillance look into it and find out whether there’s any reason to suspect dissident activity. That’s all.”
Was that the same integrity that let her get false confessions out of dissidents and make Anna disappear? Becca swallowed the retort. She should be grateful her mom wasn’t willing to report Jake for no good reason.
But if her mom had Surveillance investigate him, they would find out about the arrest. After that, at best she would find some way to keep Becca away from him, no matter what she said about not being able to control who Becca spent her time with. At worst, she would take that as all the proof she needed, and Jake would disappear like Anna.
“I’ll invite him over for dinner,” said Becca, already planning how to put it off.
“Soon,” her mom said, as if she could see what Becca was thinking.
“Soon,” Becca agreed.
Her mom didn’t get up. “I have to go in to work tomorrow morning, but I’ll be home in plenty of time for dinner.”
Becca sighed loud enough for her mom to hear. “I’ll see if he can make it.”
“So, Jake,” said Becca’s mom. “Tell me about yourself.”
Jake sat in the extra chair Becca’s mom had squeezed into the kitchen, his long legs spilling out from under the table. To his left, Becca watched him warily. He didn’t know about her mom’s threat, so he might not know how careful he had to be. And he was bound to show some hint of stress that her mom would misinterpret. Her mom’s reputation made people nervous under the best of circumstances. Even when they hadn’t spent time in Processing. Even when they didn’t have parents who had died there.
Jake shrugged like he had when Becca had asked him that question, but this time it looked jerky and uncoordinated. “There’s not much to tell.”
Come on, Jake. Give her something. Give her some reason to trust you.
She had told Jake he didn’t have to do this. She hadn’t told him what her mom had threatened to do if he didn’t; the lie of omission had given her a twinge of guilt, but she hadn’t wanted him to think he was in danger of being arrested again. She hadn’t figured out what she would tell him if he didn’t agree to come, but that turned out not to be an issue—he had agreed after only a slight hesitation.
Now she wondered if she should have told him the whole truth after all. Maybe then he’d know what was at stake.
He’s not a dissident, she reminded herself. He’s not like Heather’s parents. Even if she does have him investigated, the worst that can happen is that she’ll find out about the arrest and try to stop me from seeing him. They won’t arrest him again.
Unless the rest of Internal cared as little about the truth as her mom did.
“The lasagna came out great,” said Becca, a little too loudly. “Thanks, Mom.” She forced another forkful into her mouth. Normally she loved her mom’s lasagna, but tonight even the thought of eating made her stomach rebel. Just being at the same table with her mom did that to her lately.
“I’m glad you like it.” Her mom gave Becca a brief smile before returning her attention to Jake. “I’m out of practice. I don’t get much time to cook anymore. Some days I’m lucky if I make it home from work before midnight.”
Don’t start talking about work, Becca prayed.
“But you don’t want to hear about dissidents over dinner,” said her mom. She eyed Jake, a quizzical frown creasing her forehead. “Becca said you two have only known each other a couple of weeks.”
Jake nodded. “We just moved back here two months ago.” He darted his eyes around the kitchen—searching for an escape route, maybe. He looked everywhere but at Becca’s mom. Becca cringed inwardly. This would be a great time for you to act invisible.