I smiled again as I tucked my cell phone between shoulder and ear, not even pretending not to know what Regan was talking about.
“No. It’s mine, I bought it, actually signed the papers and closed on it last night, sight unseen. God, you’ve gotta love the way money talks in this town.” I heaved a happy sigh. “Hey, I have an idea. Next time you don a new identity, you should make her rich instead of cute.”
Wow. Grinding teeth sounded a lot like sawing logs over the telephone line.
In a reasonable tone, I explained I wasn’t going to actually live in her mother’s old house. That wasn’t the point. It just felt good for a change to possess something I knew Regan cared about. I didn’t need to say she wouldn’t have kept or maintained the property if she didn’t care about it, or that that’s what had exposed the weakness to me. She knew that, so I merely added, “The perks to my Olivia identity are starting to grow on me. I’m becoming quite the materialist. I’ve decided to start a small, but elite collection. I’m going to call it ‘All the things Regan loves most.’”
Her breath hitched on the other end of the line but it didn’t stop her ragged threat. “And do you think it’ll ever rival mine? I call it ‘All the ways I could maim Ben Traina.’”
It was the expected rejoinder, but I saved my own comeback for later. By now Chandra had realized who I was talking to, and was glaring openly at me. I batted my lashes but, like Regan, she had never fallen for that. “I understand from the changelings that you’ve seen something in the manuals exciting enough to have you running from the shop like your life depended on it.”
This time there was no hesitation. “And I understand from my changeling that you had a run-in with the doppelgänger. Of course, being a loyal underling, I had to tell the Tulpa. He’s pissed you didn’t kill her when you had the chance.”
Preteens were the biggest gossips, I thought, sighing as Chandra’s eyes grew wide. She was making no attempts to hide her eavesdropping, but I shrugged her concern away. Whatever the kids could relay to my enemies wasn’t anything that could affect the larger battle, anyway. Otherwise it would’ve been like Kade had said; the information would’ve slipped from their minds even as they tried to recall it.
“If he were truly upset he’d have sent a message-by-minion so he could tell me himself. Or didn’t you feel like showing your innards today?” I gestured toward the restroom, turning, knowing Chandra would follow, still listening. As soon as I pushed open the door and daylight spilled into the cavernous darkness, there was a burst of frenzied squeals, and I ducked as my hair was rustled by hairless wings. Chandra yelped behind me, and the bats narrowly missed the canyon walls as they swerved blindly out into the sunlight. I ducked back out into the canyon, knowing Regan would try to make sense of the noise coming over the line.
“Never mind,” I said, a smile in my voice. “You’re probably depressed after having to sell your sole physical birthright to me”-I just had to rub it in-“but you can tell the Tulpa there was no way to harm the doppelgänger in the sanctuary. She was invulnerable to everyone who tried to stop her.”
“And was your friendly neighborhood call boy one of those to try?” she asked, as I wandered directly beneath the sagging footbridge.
I snorted, feeling Chandra on my heels. “Still going on about Hunter? I’ll have to let him know. He’ll be so pleased.”
“I’ll let him know myself as soon as I find him.”
The thought of Regan tracking Hunter made me laugh aloud. Even Chandra scoffed at that one. “Careful, Regan. You’re starting to sound obsessed. Aren’t you the one who once told me being a Shadow agent was a job like any other? You’re just an underling, remember? An evil man’s flunky…and an evil man’s daughter.”
“Your point?” she asked tightly.
“None,” I lied, still leading her. “Other than you should be so proud of being sired by a mortal who can rival the Tulpa in atrocities.”
She snickered, and I could envision the accompanying eye roll. “I can’t muster interest, much less pride, in someone I’ve never met. I don’t even care about most of the people I see every day. Affection is a supremely bad habit,” she said, reinforcing what I knew of Brynn’s legacy to her daughter.
“Then why would you suppose I care about what the Tulpa thinks of me?”
“Because you think of him, my dear Joanna. More than you’d like.”
“I don’t want to talk about my father with you,” I said curtly. That was no lie.
“Fine,” she said quickly, because she didn’t want to talk about him either. “Then let’s go back to talking about first loves.”
I paused for effect, mouth winging up in a sly smile. “About that. Don’t be expecting Ben to tend your garden anymore, or even returning your phone calls. In fact, don’t be surprised if he’s already left a kind but firm message on your machine canceling whatever plans you two made for the weekend. He’ll be with me tonight…and every night thereafter.”
I wiped the dust from a plaque memorializing a long-lost child. Regan finally ended the silence. “I’ll expose your world to him and tell him who you are, Olivia.”
“I plan on telling him that myself tonight, Rose, and he’s always been a part of my world. Always will be too.” My smile was so wide it could be heard in my voice. “I told you he’d never be with you as long as I’m alive. So game over. I win.”
“You think I’ll give up that easily?”
“Why not?” I straightened, meeting Chandra’s eyes as she shook her head, warning me off from baiting Regan. Too late. “I thought you didn’t care about most people you see every day?”
“Oh, but Ben’s different. He’s special. In fact, I love him to death.” And with that I heard a distant beep pass over the line, an innocuous enough sound immediately followed by a sonic boom, the way the air cuts beneath a speeding jet. Chandra jumped across from me, looking up, and even though I’d been expecting it, I couldn’t help my sharp intake of breath. A part of me hadn’t believed she’d do it. When the sound faded, Regan’s laughter chimed over the line, genuine joy blooming where silence had reigned before. “Oh and now…there’s so much of him to love.”
I was no longer surprised at the unadulterated evil living in that sparkling laughter, but I closed my eyes, dipping my head. Regan, and those like her, would never stop. What scared me about that was I could never stop then either. Meeting evil head-on meant cutting it off, and preemptive strikes needed to be as vicious as the machinations of the Shadow side. So where and when did it all end? Or was this some sort of endless universal treadmill, where showing fatigue meant falling off into oblivion, but speeding up got you nowhere? The peace I’d felt upon entering the canyon dissipated, and I shivered in its wake.
“Your mom was right, Regan,” I said softly, and the way my voice shook with the words wasn’t an act. “Love is a weakness. But, as you know…we all have ’em.”
Then I hung up amid the confused silence, Regan no doubt wondering why I wasn’t out of my mind with grief for the life she’d just ended. But Father Michael’s life, I knew, had ended the day he’d met Brynn DuPree.
“Tell me that vibrational chaos was the doppelgänger again,” Chandra said, when I’d finally opened my eyes. I shook my head and looked up at the giant statue of Jesus, one hand held up in welcome, the other folded peacefully in front of his robes. I half expected a reaction out of him, a lashing with his olive branch, a stern look that would have the sky falling down on my shoulders. But the other half thought he might thank me. Too many alleged holy men had used his name for atrocities. I wondered briefly if he’d ever felt this sort of conflict, if dueling sides had ever warred inside him. I wondered if those upturned palms had ever wanted to curl into fists.