"Oh, really?" Charles hadn't thought about how Bulmer must be cleaning up on these "cures" of his. "What did he take them for?"
"Twenty-five bucks. I couldn't believe it, but the mother swore that was all he charged. I think you've got a real kook on your hands. I think he may really believe he can effect these cures."
"Could be," Charles said, feeling very tired. "Thanks."
With steadily growing alarm, he made five more calls, which yielded three more contacts. The story was always the same: complete spontaneous remission.
Finally he could not bring himself to dial another number. Each doctor he had spoken to had had only one encounter with a "Bulmerized" patient and had easily written off the incident as a fluke. But Charles had a sheaf of names and addresses, and so far Bulmer was batting a thousand.
Charles fought off a sudden desire to throw the envelope into his wastepaper basket and follow it with a match. If what Bulmer had said about his failing memory was true, he wouldn't be able to recall much of the data. It would be gone for good. And then Charles would feel safe.
He smirked at the thought of Charles Axford, the relentless researcher and pursuer of scientific truth, destroying data to save himself from facing the collapse of all his preconceptions, the repudiation of his precious Weltanschauung.
It was a perfectly heinous idea, yet oh, so attractive.
For the events of the day—first Knopf and now these phone calls with the unbroken trail of "spontaneous remissions" they revealed—were making Charles physically ill. He was nauseous from the mental vertigo it caused him.
If he could destroy the data, he was sure he could make himself forget they had ever existed. And then he could once again return his mind to an even intellectual and philosophical keel.
Or maybe he couldn't. Maybe he would never recover from what he had learned today.
In that case the only thing to do was follow it through.
He looked once more—longingly—at the wastebasket, then stuffed Bulmer's papers back in the envelope. He was locking them in his office safe when his secretary popped her head in the door.
"Can I go now?"
"Sure, Marnie." She looked as tired as he felt.
"Need anything before I leave?"
"Do you have any Mylanta?"
"Your stomach bothering you?" she said, her brows knitting together in concern. "You look kind of pale."
"I'm fine. Something I ate. Crow never did agree with me."
"Pardon?"
"Nothing, Marnie. Go home. Thanks for staying."
How could he tell her or anyone else how he felt? It was as if he were the first astronaut in space, and he had looked down from orbit and seen that the earth was flat.
___37.___
Sylvia
"What's the matter, Jeffy?"
She had heard him whimpering in his sleep. As she looked in, she saw him raking at his pajamas and neck. She went over to investigate. He had never shown tendencies toward self-destruction or self-mutilation, but she had read of autistic children who developed them. With the way he was regressing, she feared every change was for the worse.
She pulled his hands away and saw the rising welts on the skin of his neck. Lifting his pajama top, she saw more on his back.
Hives.
There had been nothing new in his diet, and she hadn't changed her detergent or fabric softener. She could think of only one thing that had been recently added to his intake— his new medicine from the Foundation.
Sylvia slumped down on the bed next to Jeffy. She wanted to cry. Wasn't anything going to help this child? Jeffy was slowly fading away and there seemed to be nothing she could do other than sit and watch him vanish. She felt so damned helpless! So impotent! It was like being paralyzed. She wanted to do something, anything but cry.
She took a deep breath and settled herself. Crying never solved anything—she had learned that after Greg's death.
She phoned Charles at home. His housekeeper said he hadn't returned from the Foundation yet. She called him there.
"You'll have to stop the medication," he told her. "Were you seeing any results?"
"No. Too soon to see any change, wouldn't you think?"
"I suppose. But it's a moot point now. He could have a more severe reaction with the next dose, so pour the rest down the toilet. And have you got some Benadryl around?"
She ran a mental inventory of the medicine cabinet. "I think so. The liquid."
"Good. Give him two teaspoons. It'll stop the itching."
"Thank you, Charles. Will do." She paused, then: "How's Alan?"
His voice sharpened. "Your precious Dr. Bulmer is doing fine. Better than I, for that matter."
Something odd about his voice… strained… Charles almost never showed emotion. It made her uneasy.
"Something wrong?"
"No." A tired sigh. "Everything's fine. We start testing him in the a.m."
"You won't hurt him, will you?"
"Jesus, Sylvia, he'll be fine. Just don't ask bloody stupid questions, okay?"
"Okay. Pardon me for asking."
"Sorry, Love. I'm a bit rushed here. I'll ring you up later to see how the Boy's doing."
He made some excuse about checking reports and said good-bye, leaving Sylvia standing there, holding the phone. Charles was upset about something and that wasn't good. But Charles also sounded indecisive… almost unsure of himself. That was unsettling.
She hung up and went to get the Benadryl. The house seemed so empty as she walked down the hall to the medicine cabinet. Alan had been here only three days and nights, but he had filled Toad Hall for her in a way that she had not known since buying the old place. It seemed all the emptier now for his leaving.
After all these years it was so strange to miss somebody.
She had just spooned the antihistamine into Jeffy when the phone rang. Her heart tripped a few beats when she recognized the voice.
"A lonely froggy calling Mrs. Toad."
"Alan!"
He told her about Mr. K and how he had cured the man, and how Charles had reacted.
"No wonder Charles was acting so strangely!"
"You don't sound quite yourself tonight, either."
She didn't want to burden him with her own problems, but she had to tell him.
"It's Jeffy. He's allergic to that new drug."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. But look," he said, and she could hear his voice brighten, "when I get out of here we'll know all about the Touch. Then will you let me try it on Jeffy?"
She felt every muscle in her body suddenly tighten of its own accord. Was it possible?
"Alan—will it work?"
"I don't know. Seems to work on everything else. Why not autism?"
God, if I could believe for just a minute, for just a second.
"Sylvia? You still there?"
She took a breath. "Yes, Alan. Still here. Hurry home, will you? Please?"
"I'm on my way!"
She laughed, and that relaxed her a bit. "Wait till they're finished with you."
"Good night, Mrs. Toad."
"Good night, Alan."
She hung up the phone and went over to Jeffy. She gathered him up in her arms and hugged him close, ignoring his struggles to get free, struggles that were as impersonal as someone in a deep sleep trying to untangle himself from his sheets.
"Oh, Jeffy. Everything's going to be all right. I can feel it coming."
And she could. The bitter discouragement of a few moments ago was gone. She wouldn't let herself get carried away, but she felt that somewhere up around the bend she might catch sight of the light that was supposed to wait at the end of every tunnel.