And now she watched Alan as he pushed and tapped on Jeffy's abdomen again. He kept getting better-looking as he got older. The little touches of gray flecking the dark brown hair of his temples didn't make him look older, just more distinguished. He was built the way she liked a man, tall and lean, with those long legs and piercing dark brown eyes…
"You're fine, Jeff," Alan said as he sat him up. "But you're getting pudgy." He sat on the table, put his arm around Jeffy's shoulder in a casual gesture of affection, and turned to Sylvia. "He's got a lot of air in his intestines. He eats fast?"
"Like a vacuum."
"See if you can slow him down."
"Easier said than done."
"And either cut back on the amount he's eating or increase his activity."
"Maybe I should enroll him in Little League," she said with the slightest edge to her voice.
Alan winced at her sarcasm and sighed. "Yeah, I know. 'Easier said than done.' "
That was another thing she liked about Alan—they could communicate. After years of caring for Jeffy together, they had become attuned to each other regarding the rare ups and many downs of life with an autistic child.
"I'll try," she said. "Maybe I can take him for walks."
"Will he come?"
"Sure. As long as I take him by the hand and Ba's not there."
"Ba?"
"Ba spoils him terribly. Carries him all the time. Jeffy's legs don't work when Ba is around."
Alan laughed. "Well, whatever you can get him to do will help."
Sylvia pulled Jeffy's clothes back on while Alan scribbled in the chart.
"I want to thank you for coming over last night," she said, remembering the thrill she had felt upon opening the door and seeing him there. "I'm sorry it was for nothing."
"It wasn't for nothing. We both slept better."
"Speaking of house calls: Do you make them on lonely widows?"
She loved to watch him blush. He didn't disappoint her.
"As a matter of fact, yes. There's a little old lady not far from here who's bedfast after a couple of strokes. I see her once a month."
"What about younger ladies?"
"Depends on the problem. The home is a lousy place to practice medicine."
She stifled a smile. Poor guy. Trying so hard to remain cool and professional.
"What if she's got an itch only you can scratch."
He smiled with the slightest trace of malice. "I'd tell her to take a bath. Or maybe a cold shower."
She laughed. She was so glad that for all his old-fashioned propriety and almost stuffy integrity, he still had a sense of humor.
"By the way," he said into her laugh, "is that invitation to your party this weekend still open?"
"You can make it?" A buoyant sensation came over her.
"Yes, we can. I thought we were busy but we're not."
"Wonderful! Nine o'clock. Semi-dressy."
"We'll be there."
"Great. Then I can sneak you upstairs and show you some of my erotic Japanese etchings."
He looked squarely at her, his expression tinged with annoyance. "You know, one of these days I just might call your bluff."
Don't you dare! The phrase leaped to her lips but she bit it back. "Who's bluffing?" she said as she opened the examining room door and ushered Jeffy out. "Good luck in Washington. See you Saturday night."
As she walked up the hall, she wondered at the stab of panic she had felt when Alan had mentioned calling her bluff. She didn't want that. She was aware that much of the attraction was based on his inaccessibility. It made him unique among so many of the men she knew—such as some of Greg's friends and the husbands of her female friends who had come around to "comfort" her after Greg's death. Their idea of comforting, however, seemed to require a bed. That had been an eye-opening time in her life. She'd had her share of flings since then, but not with any of them.
Alan had turned a deaf ear to her frequent offers. And she knew he was attracted to her, which made the little game all the more charming—and Alan all the more honorable.
But why did she do it?
She never could answer that question. Alan was the only man she teased so, yet she respected him more than any man she knew. So why make him squirm? Why tempt him? Was it because she knew he was safe? Or did she want to bring him down somehow, prove that the shining knight had feet of clay?
No. She did not want to prove that!
Then why did she so enjoy teasing him?
The questions went 'round and 'round, with never an answer.
She wondered if there might be something wrong with her— a wire crossed somewhere in her psyche—but brushed that uncomfortable thought away.
It was all in fun, she thought determinedly. All in fun.
___4.___
Alan
"Sure you don't want to come?"
Ginny looked at him through her green contacts and smiled. "You know I'd love to, Alan, but I can't let Josie down. We're—"
He knew: the Tennis Tournament at the club. Ginny and Josie were in the quarter-finals for women's doubles.
"How many times am I going to testify before a senate subcommittee? I could use you there for some moral support."
"I know, honey," Ginny said as she put her arms around him. "And I never would have entered the tournament if I'd thought we had the slightest chance of getting this far. But Josie's depending on me, Alan. I can't let her down."
A caustic remark rose to Alan's lips but he held it back. He didn't want to leave on a tense note.
"But I'll drive you down to JFK," Ginny said.
"Better if you didn't. I don't know when I'll be back tomorrow, so I'd rather have the car sitting in the lot there."
He gave her a kiss and a hug, and then he was on his way out the door with his overnight bag in his hand.
"Good luck!" she said with a wave as he got into the car. He smiled and hoped it looked genuine. He hurt more than he wanted to admit, even to himself.
* * *
Mike Switzer had told him that all doctors who gave pro-guidelines testimony had all their expenses paid for by the committee, including limousines to meet them at the airport. Those testifying against the guidelines had to shift for themselves.
So Alan shifted himself from National Airport and checked into Crystal City in Arlington, where he got a room with a view of the Potomac. The night was cool and clear, and from his window he could see the lighted images of the monuments on the far side of the river reflecting brightly in the rippling water.
He hated to travel. He felt strangely disconnected when he was away from his practice and his home, as if someone had pulled the plug on him and he'd ceased to exist. He shook himself. He didn't like the feeling.
He opened his suitcase, pulled out a bottle of scotch, and settled back on the double bed with a couple of fingers' worth and watched the tv without seeing it.
No sense in kidding himself: He was nervous about tomorrow. He had never testified before a committee of any sort, let alone one being run by the ferocious Senator James McCready. Why on earth had he agreed to do it? Why would anyone set himself up for a grilling by a bunch of politicians? Crazy!
It was all Mike—pardon: Congressman—Switzer's fault. If he hadn't sweet-talked Alan into this, he'd be home safe and sound in his own bed before his own tv set.
No, that wasn't true. Alan knew he really had no one to blame but himself for being here. He had wanted a chance to say something against the Medical Guidelines bill, and Mike had given it to him.
But would it matter?
He had begun to wonder if maybe he wasn't a vanishing breed… a dinosaur… a solo physician practicing a personal brand of medicine, developing one-to-one relationships with his patients, gaining their trust, dealing with them person-to-person, becoming someone they came to with their problems, someone they called when their children were sick, someone they placed high on their Christmas card list.