There wasn’t much I could do to fix that, but I did try to explain. "In Australia – in my culture – important able laugh at self. I–" I tugged at my shirt, then read out the words in English and the closest Taren translation. "Lab Rat One. Is true, is what am me here. Pretend not, that stupid. This–" I shrugged. "Cope mechanism. Sarcasm. Make me feel better wear."
"But it’s not–" Maze wasn’t getting any less upset.
"I kept in box. Take out for tests. What else call it?"
Maze grimaced, but Lohn laughed. "You have to admit her point. So the people of your world think it’s important to laugh at themselves? That’s an idea I could get along with. But, Maze, no-one will be laughing if we miss that shuttle, so get a move on."
He dashed off with a wave, and since Maze obviously couldn’t think of an argument he sighed. "Let me know if you need anything, Caszandra. Although I suppose it must seem like it, your status is not that." He shot the picture on my shirt a grumpy look, nodded at Zan, and strode off after Lohn.
Zan just said: "I’ll escort you back" and took me to my room and left me here.
Being able to record everything you see and hear certainly makes it easier to write down a conversation, though my translation of what they said – and what I was trying to say – is probably not that accurate. I hadn’t noticed before, but First Squad all call me Caszandra, not Cassandra. Taren is a very zeddy language.
Writing this down took hours, but it’s given me plenty of translation practice and time to try and work out which of the three – Maze, Lohn or the Fourth Squad captain – that Zan likes enough to make her mind so much what happened today.
Monday, January 28
Roof
This morning started as business as usual with training. Zan, rather than the greensuits, has been collecting me from my room. We get changed in a side room which has a stock of freshly laundered training outfits and then we do a lot of stepping backward and forward and now side-to-side. Zan had gone back to being imperturbable, and I wasn’t in the mood to push her, so I was really surprised when, after we’d changed back, she said: "I’ve been given leave to escort you around the facility, if there’s any parts you wish to see."
"Can go outside?" I asked immediately.
I could see that surprised her. People really just don’t go outside much, on this planet. "It’s night phase at the moment."
"That bad thing?"
"Well…" She shrugged, and led me to the elevator that led to the corridor that led to the walkway that led to the quickest elevator to the roof. It’s not nearly so huge as Unara, but the KOTIS building mound is still pretty damn big. It can’t all be Setari facilities, even with all the not-yet Setari who are being trained somewhere.
It was very cold and windy on the bit of roof we ended up on. It feels even more like being on the side of a big mountain than going to Unara’s roof did. Unara’s more an endless blocky roundness, while the Institute is closer to the water and you can really see the down. But you could also see up since the sky was clear for once and so I found a convenient edge and sat down and stared up looking for any constellations I recognised. I would like to at least be able to stare in the direction of Earth.
"This is similar to your world?" Zan asked after a while. Even she can’t just sit and not say anything forever.
"Not my part." I supposed Scotland might look like that, if you covered it with buildings. "Australia – big sky, red dirt, blue sea, lots beaches, huge empty inland. Deserts and tropical forests and…harsh, thirsty country. And then flood." I shrugged. "Out here because never not gone outside ever. Walk to school. Go to beach. Garden. What you do when not being Setari?"
I’d asked her before, but she’d ignored the question. This time Zan sighed, ever-so-softly. "If you want to talk, go inside out of this cold. I’m supposed to be watching your health."
But, of course, as soon as we got back inside someone called her away. And it’s back to kindergarten in a box.
Tuesday, January 29
Bored Spitless
I suck at learning languages. Other than English, the only one I even begin to know is sign language, and even with that I spend a lot of time spelling words out because I don’t know the sign. It annoys me, because I have a good memory, but there’s a difference between remembering and knowing something, I guess.
Despite having an entire dictionary in my head cheating for me when I listen to Taren, I’m struggling to know the words. I know yes and no and hello. And new words like Muina and Setari seem to have sunk in far better than bed or morning. Which is all just a whiny lead-up to saying I figured out how to trigger those interface tests and still can’t pass because it takes me too long to phrase answers. I need multiple choice answer tests! What kind of planet gives kindergarteners tests this hard?
I can only do the tests once a day, so now I’m sitting around hoping Zan will show up and still be willing to talk. And feeling a bit annoyed with her for not coming back yesterday. And wondering what her other duties are beyond babying me. It looked to me like she doesn’t get on with the rest of her squad, or at least not that obnoxious blond guy.
I wonder what they’d do if I drew patterns on the walls? Everything on this planet is so undecorated and white because they use interface skins as their decoration. I’ve been trying to work out if the buildings are made of the same whitestone as the buildings on Muina. They don’t look anywhere near as simple, of course, but they feel the same to touch.
*sulks*
Bleh. Instead of training, I had medical examinations this afternoon. More scans and blood tests and seeing how my heart is going and dull and uncomfortable as hell.
One thing, though – I don’t think any of the Setari have told anyone else what my Lab Rat symbol means. At least, Ista Tremmar didn’t pay any more attention to it than last time, and wasn’t giving me psych tests or anything.
Wednesday, January 30
Tactics
Zan likes classical music. I should have guessed: it fits in with her being all serious and proper. They call classical music orchestral music (tennanam anam). The instrument Zan plays is called a Tyu and looks and sounds to me a lot like a zither, but is larger than the zither they had in the music room at primary school – about the size of an A3 sheet of paper, but much thicker of course – and has softer strings which she plucks. It’s made of wood, which is super rare on Tare. I think it’s probably rare to have an actual musical instrument, as well, rather than playing a virtual something in a virtual space.
I was just as interested in her rooms. I had been picturing all the Setari stuck in little boxes like mine, but Zan had a small apartment: one bedroom, but with a separate lounge-kitchen combo and a study nook thing and a larger bathroom than mine – bathtub! I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. You can apply for adult rights at 50 (almost 17) here, and the Setari are a few steps above an ordinary sort of soldier. Keeping them permanently in barracks or whatever probably wouldn’t have worked.