"The kids okay?" I asked, and he nodded, and told me he’d fetch them and squeezed my hand painfully hard, then left me to the embarrassing things medics do to me.
Sen arrived first, running ahead enthusiastically, but stopping just short of leaping on me and instead climbing very cautiously into the bed with me. She didn’t say anything at all, just welded herself to my side and stuck there no matter what anyone said to her. It wasn’t too bad – she’d chosen the side without the broken arm – and I patted her on the head, feeling quite overwhelmed. Rye had followed along hastily behind, but stopped short and just stared at me.
I gestured for him to come closer, and tugged at one of his thick, wavy locks, then brought all three of them into the channel with Kaoren and me and said: "We have to get Kaoren give both of us a haircut, I think."
Ys came in then, and completely floored me. Because Lira was with her. Lira. Dressed in Ys' clothes, with some bruises of her own, glowering at me in an unusually subdued way.
"But how?" I asked, holding out a hand for her in complete disbelief. I hadn’t been wanting to think about what the destruction of the installation had meant for Lira, and certainly hadn’t expected to find her with Ys.
"We’re not certain," Kaoren said, helping me sit up so I could hug Lira. "She was beneath you when we reached you."
"How wonderful," I managed to say aloud, my throat sounding like it had been sandpapered. "I’m so glad."
"There’s no reason she can’t use Siame’s room," Ys said – a pronouncement rather than a question, and I had to laugh, which hurt a lot. Ys is so protective of her family. I’m so glad she’s decided to expand it to Lira.
"I think we can manage a room of her very own," I said, with some effort, and when Kaoren had given me a drink to make it easier, added to him: "If Cruzatch are gone, was hoping they let us build house on that island where we go swimming."
"I was thinking the same thing," Kaoren said, looking pleased. "When you’re a little better we can all work on the design together."
I fell asleep before I really got to see more than their initial reaction to that. Rye was the only one looking openly delighted, but I think they were all pleased, and Kaoren told them that they had to make sure they had a good idea of what they needed for their rooms. I’ve had a chance to talk to them all individually since, and every single one of them has obviously put considerable thought into the kind of room they would like, for all that it’s quite hard to drag the details out of some of them.
So Kaoren and I have four children now, though Isten Notra has told me quite bluntly that there’s a strong possibility that Lira will one day simply fade away, just as my origami cranes apparently have begun to. Isten Notra isn’t sure if she will age, or remain as she is now, and if she counts as an Ionoth or not. She’s something very new and unexpected, and there’s a huge amount of scientific and public interest in her, which we’re going to have to shield her from. Kaoren vetoed an awful lot of the tests the greysuits wanted to run on her, and fortunately Isten Notra is backing him up. Lira, in turn, is claiming to no longer be able to visualise or project, which we’re not altogether sure is true. She certainly enhances the Setari when they touch her (and without the distortion I cause). They’re holding off implanting the interface for the moment, given its tendency to try and kill me, but I’m going to argue against keeping her permanently unconnected since I can see she already has realised the lack. She and Ys are thick as thieves, which I find a very handy thing.
After a long second sleep I’ve been awake for most of today (well, with occasional naps). Sen has stayed stubbornly by my side, sneaking back if anyone tries to remove her, and seems to have appointed herself as my social secretary, happily bullying everyone who comes and visits me. The only times she’s left of her own accord is when I’ve spoken to Ys and to Lira, and the rest of them time she gives my visitors their marching orders when she thinks they’ve stayed too long. Unfortunately I can’t convince anyone that I’m well enough to not need to be in medical, despite not being that injured and in no apparent further danger.
It really is over.
It’s been very interesting seeing First and Second Squad particularly. There’s just something different about their eyes. Relief, of course, that we escaped any more deaths (on Muina, anyway), but also this introspective quality. They’re all thinking rather seriously about a different sort of future. The tears between real-space and the Ena haven’t miraculously vanished, and Isten Notra says we won’t know if destroying the malachite marbles has had a positive effect until the initial disruption has died down, but she does think that removing the pressure of the parasite world can only be a good thing.
What exactly happened to the Cruzatch and the parasite world is anyone’s guess. It might all still be there, but it’s far more likely to have been destroyed or to now be fading away. Just desserts for the Photoshop Gods, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget those children. Calling their world a parasite makes it easier, but it doesn’t make their lives any less gone. I can only choose to count what’s been saved, rather than who was lost.
I’m still having trouble believing I’m not dead.
Tuesday, November 4
Out of Touch
Slept a lot today, in between various medical things being done to me. Then Alay and Ketzaren came and kidnapped me in the afternoon and gave me a proper haircut. It’s now shorter than Kaoren’s but at least even. Still, I was able to emerge from medical to have dinner and watch the sunset and enjoy sitting around in the common room and on the patio with the mass of Setari now filling the building, watching their faces, listening to the changed note in their voices.
The squads – everyone on the planet – are currently gathered in Pandora, not even a hardy few trying to sift through the rubble at Oriath. For safety reasons, KOTIS is keeping everyone in one place until the rift stops letting out strange power surges, and so we’ve all these squads with only a little guarding duty between them. They’ve mostly been given a break to recover from the past hectic weeks and their various injuries, and are otherwise helping with colony work. They’re not even allowed in near-space.
This means accommodating First, Second, Fourth, Fifth (who are being low-key, at least), Sixth, Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, Fifteenth, Sixteenth, Squad One and Squad Two. Plus the Nuran Setari. Everyone’s doubled up, and they’ve started a second (or third, given the school) building on the south side. It will be more exposed, since there’s less hill there.
There are far more squads on Muina than on Tare and I know Maze is concerned about what this will mean to the squads defending Tare. Especially since so many of those on Tare are there because of injuries. Though it seems from the cautious drone surveys they’ve done of near-space here that the unstable environment might discourage most Ionoth anyway.
The prospect of the separation from Tare and Kolar being a long, extended one is naturally upsetting for many Pandorans, since it represents a complete loss of contact with friends and family. It’s mainly Zan I’ll miss, and Ghost, who we think maybe is on Tare. I can only be thankful that Kaoren insisted on moving the kids here, since Zan would have been practically the only person on Tare they’ve spent any time with at all.
The dinner discussion remained firmly on rebuilding Muina, and the progress of the colonies, at least partly because it was Lira’s first large group outing and I’m willing to bet that everyone’s under strict orders not to upset her. I spoke to Isten Notra today about the way everyone is itching to pick Lira’s brain about all things Lantaren, and fortunately they’re willing to hold off until Isten Notra gives them the go-ahead, and she doesn’t plan to do that for weeks or months, and even then only sparingly. She says they can just live with whatever Lira chooses to volunteer until then.