"That's because we haven't finished it yet, sister," Keritanima said, staring at it. "When it's done, this will be the most important book in the world. It's our passage out of here."
"You put too much hope on that, sister," Tarrin told her. "I can't deny that it'll be useful, but it's just that. Useful."
"Useful, yes. Important, undoubted," she replied. "But it's something more than that, Tarrin. It's a testament."
"To what?"
"To us," she replied, her eyes a mystery. "It's the defining statement that said that we were good enough. Better than the rest, and that we have won."
"Deshaida," Allia said, "give over on this need to prove yourself. You are my sister. For whatever you are, it is enough for me, and I will always love you."
Keritanima gave Allia a totally vulnerable look, full of powerful emotion, then she began to cry. Allia embraced her, stroking her hair, and Tarrin fully understood. Keritanima had never wanted anything more than acceptance from her family. Instead, they all tried to murder her. She had a new family now, a family that accepted her, loved her, and supported her. A family that loved her more than her own family ever did. Tarrin stood and accepted Keritanima into his arms, holding her close, with Allia keeping a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"I want the brands," she sniffled from Tarrin's chest. "I want to be one of you. I want to belong."
"You always did, Kerri," Tarrin told her gently. "You always did."
"The Holy Mother will accept you, my sister," Allia told her assuringly. "And you will always be part of my family."
That word at first made her flinch in his arms, but then she looked up at him with teary eyes that betrayed the deep pain that pierced her soul, the pain of having those you love try to destroy you. Tarrin couldn't imagine what horror had been buried behind those eyes, both done to her, and the evil she had committed simply to keep herself alive.
"You are deshaida," Allia told her, patting her on the shoulder. "You are my sister. I would be honored to accept you into my clan."
"My father is going to adore you, Kerri," Tarrin told her, pushing her out to arm's length and looking down at her emotional eyes. He gave her a gentle smile. "You're inheriting two families, sister. Allia's and mine. My father will take to you like fish to water, and my mother and the Whiteaxe Clan of Ungardt will also be your family."
"The Selani on one side, the Ungardt on the other," Keritanima said with a cheeky grin, though she was sniffling. "I feel very safe."
"You should," Allia smiled. "We take care of our own."
"We do indeed," Tarrin agreed. "You've given us so much, Kerri. Wisdom, intelligence, and a sense of security. It's time you got back what you give out."
Keritanima stared up at him, her eyes losing everything that had always clouded them before. The Brat, pain, defensiveness, fear, worry, loneliness. He stared into the core of her, and he found beauty. She put her cheek on his shoulder and just held him for a long moment. Tarrin and Allia kept her close, and he happened to glance up to the massive Vendari warrior, who stood ever near her. His black eyes were a mystery, but the single eloquent nod told Tarrin everything the silent warrior felt inside.
To: Title EoF
Chapter 18
It was necessary time off.
Tarrin lounged in the baths with Allia while the rest of the Tower slept, letting the slight hiss of the hot water and the sound of dripping lull them as they laid on towels by the hottest part of the pool, soaking up the heat. It was needed time. Allia had been very quiet for the last few days, as she seemed to step back and allow Keritanima the room she needed to work. Allia usually wasn't that talkative, but it was still enough for Tarrin to notice it. She'd had to share Tarrin with the Wikuni, and he felt that she had done so with tremendous grace and civility. Allia and Keritanima were very dear friends, and he had seen that bloom in the last few days, bloom into the relationship necessary for Allia to accept Keritanima as a sister. But it didn't take away from the simple fact that Allia needed the same attention that Keritanima did, and Tarrin had been lack in his duties as her friend and brother to provide it. Allia's patience about the matter was very commendable, but Tarrin knew that it was time to remind her just how important she was to him.
Allia was his sister, but she was also his best, closest, and most personal friend. The love he had for her transcended normal definitions; he loved her as much as any member of his own family, and it was a love so intense and powerful that he felt lost when she wasn't close to him. It was as deep as a love could be between two people who weren't romantically involved. They were friends, siblings, confidantes, and partners. There was nothing that he couldn't tell her, nothing that he wouldn't do for her, and he knew she was the same. That intense trust, between two people that were naturally very suspicious, formed the cornerstone of a relationship that defied Tarrin's every attempt to rationalize it. She had been there for him when he needed her, and now she needed him. And he wouldn't fail her.
So he brought her down to the baths, one of the few places where Allia would truly relax, and massaged and pampered her into total contentment. Such personal attention was vital for her mental well-being, a very tactile and sensual assurance that she was loved and needed. Selani were a very sensual people, almost as dependent on their senses as the Were-cats were, because they lived in a world where the slightest misstep could bring death. By indulging in those senses, Tarrin put Allia's mind at ease, and it made her relax. She had been much too tense the last few days.
Allia sighed blissfully, her incredible blue eyes opening and staring directly into his own. "You do know how to spoil me, brother," she said with a gentle smile.
"You needed it," he replied. "You've been a bit nervous the last few days."
"It's the situation," she told him. "I don't feel comfortable being a thief. It goes against our ways."
"I know. I figured that was part of what was bothering you. But it was necessary."
"Yes, I'd have to agree," she admitted. "We aren't in a position where we can live by our codes. Survival is the first rule." She rolled over on her back and stretched languidly. "Besides, Keritanima did make it seem somewhat honorable."
"How is that?"
"By painting the church as an enemy of the katzh-dashi, who host us," she replied. "Stealing is wrong, but raiding one's enemy is more than acceptable. Until the Tower proves she is an enemy, I can find honor in striking back at her foes."
Tarrin chuckled. "That's one way to justify it."
"How do you justify it?"
"I don't," he shrugged. "I really don't care one way or the other."
"That's another way to justify it," Allia said with a smile, reaching out and nudging his shoulder. "What is this strange curiosity I see for Miranda?"
Tarrin looked at her. "I really have no idea," he replied.
"She is quite cute. I'm not sure how you'd feel sharing your bed with someone covered in fur."
"Allia!" Tarrin said in shock. "I don't feel that way about her!"
"You certainly feel something."
"I don't know what it is," he said. "I do like her, but something about her…sings to me. It's not romantic. I don't know what it is. I think of her as a friend, nothing more."
"She certainly seems to like you."
"I hope so," he replied. "I talked to Dar yesterday," he mentioned. "I think he's starting to get interested in Tiella."
"He needs a girlfriend," she said approvingly. "Tiella is a good woman."
"She'll be over here in a few days."
"I know. How have you fared without Jesmind?"