Tarrin couldn't refute such simple logic. And she was right. Tarrin had no desire for such power. All he wanted to do was find somewhere nice and secluded, and just live.
He lowered his head, staring into the water, his mind lost in deep thought. He was torn between his Were impulse to run into the forest and be free, and his sincere love for and sense of duty towards his mysterous deity. She was giving him a choice, a choice between what he wanted to do and what she needed him to do. Either way, he would leave with her blessing. He had already suffered a great deal, and the Goddess made no guarantees that he wouldn't suffer more. He may even die. He would be risking his life for something that seemed intangible to him, a fairy tale lost in the mists of antiquity. But the consequences of his inactivity had been plainly spelled out. If he did nothing, then there was a good chance that the entire world would suffer. He didn't want any of this. All he wanted to do was be free. But agreeing to this would restrain his freedom yet again, place him in the yoke of yet another master. It went against his nature, just as much as doing nothing went against his human ideals. He was torn within himself, caught between his Were instincts and his human ethics, and neither was strong enough to overcome the other.
He remembered Miranda's words, a fleeting memory fluttering before him. Sometimes, what one person wants or needs is overshadowed by what others need of them.
And before his eyes, he could only see Janette, his little mother, and before her stretched a future of frightening ambiguity. She was so young, so young, and her life could be changed, or ended, by the decision that he made.
In the end, there really was no choice.
"I will," he said in a quiet voice.
The statue suddenly began to glow, and its eyes became incandescent. You won't be sorry, my kitten, she said in a delighted voice. There are rewards, you know. I wasn't allowed to offer them to you as enticement. It had to be a choice made unswayed by promises of reward.
Tarrin ignored that. He wasn't very happy about it. But he would do it. She was his Goddess, after all, and he would do what she asked. If only because she asked. "What do I do?"
I can't give you any direct help, Tarrin, she warned. To do so would upset the rules.
"Rules? What rules?"
Tarrin, you are not the only champion of a God playing this game, she warned. There are some Younger Gods who would risk destruction to gain that staff, because it would add to their power. They are forbidden from directly aiding their mortal champions, just as I am forbidden from aiding you. All I can tell you is that the first step to finding the Firestaff is to find the Book of Ages.
"But that's been missing for centuries!" he said helplessly.
Yes, but you already know where it is, my kitten, she said impishly. There are only three cities with libraries extensive enough to hold such a prized tome. And you can rule two of them out.
Extensive libraries? There were indeed three cities highly reputed for their libraries. One was the Library of the katzh-dashi, in Suld. Another was the Cathedral of Knowledge, which was in Sharadar. The third was the Imperial Library in Dala Yar Arak. It certainly wasn't in Suld, but how could he rule one of the other two cities out?
The Tower! Dolanna said that the Sorcerers in Sharadar had their own Tower! If the book was there, they would have found it, and let the katzh-dashi know!
"Arak?" he said uncertainly.
Don't ask me, she said in a light voice. I'm not allowed to tell you. I wouldn't be allowed to agree with you either, if I thought it was a question. But I would be allowed to agree with you if it was a statement made in sincere belief.
"It has to be," he said. "There are Sorcerers in the other two cities."
I do believe that you're right, she said with a silvery laugh.
Dala Yar Arak. The largest city in the Known World, home to millions of people. Capital of the largest, most powerful, and most feared empire on the face of Sennadar.
He had to comb the largest city in the world and find a single book. It defined an impossible task.
"You're not making this easy for me to take, Goddess," he said with a grunt.
She laughed. It's why it's a quest, my kitten. If it were easy, it would be called an errand.
"I guess so."
Remember that you're not alone, kitten, she warned. You're only one player among many, in a game of quests. You're all racing for the same prize, and only one of you can have it. You have an advantage over them, my kitten, but remember that getting the prize and keeping the prize after you get it are two different things. The Questing Game has already begun, and there are players ahead of you, as well as behind. Keep both eyes open, and trust in your friends. They will be there for you when you need them.
There was a short silence. I know that this only adds on to an already eventful day and night, my kitten, but I had no more time. Think about things for me, and know that one can always find forgiveness outside before he can find it within himself. Take comfort in that forgiveness, and let it help you find it within yourself.
"Can I let them know?"
Of course, she replied. They are players as much as you. But when you go, there are five people that you absolutely must take with you. Without them, your chance to succeed is greatly diminished.
"Who?"
Allia, for one, she replied. Without your sister, you would be lost. You would not be a complete family without Keritanima, and trust me, having her Royal Highness' pedigree to throw around could be a tremendous advantage for you. You also need Dolanna, because she is the only one who can soothe you and help you deal with what you are. You need Azakar, for his strength and his lineage, and you will need Dar.
"Dar? Why Dar?"
Not everyone is as valuable as he appears, my kitten, she replied. Dar has qualities that you overlook.
"What about the others?"
Others will certainly join you, my kitten, and you should always welcome friends, she told him. But those five I named, their unique skills and attributes will be a very great boon to you.
"What do I do with them?"
Well, you can start by getting yourself to Dala Yar Arak, she said impishly. What you do when you get there is up to you. But it would be best to get there first, wouldn't it?
"I guess," he sighed. He had thrown off one yoke, and had just taken on another. But at least this driver he could tolerate. His faith in the Goddess was the only reason he could allow it. "I'll find your Firestaff, Goddess, and then I'll make sure nobody can get their hands on it. Then I can be free."
You will be free, she promised, and you will be happy. I will make sure of that. But right now, time is wasting, my kitten. You have to go.
He nodded. "What about the tent?"
I will keep watch over it. You never know, you may come back here some day. I'll make sure that the books are here waiting for you if you do.