“You’re a most articulate little bear,” said Dorothy.
“And most democratic,” said Eddie. “I hold no prejudice. I bite man or woman alike if I consider that they are patronising me.”
“That flight of yours over the big top,” said Dorothy. Suggestively. “I overheard that.”
“I’ll get you when you’re sleeping,” said Eddie.
“Stop it, please,” said Jack. “All right, Dorothy, I am impressed. If you want to help us, it would be appreciated.”
“Not by me,” said Eddie. “We’re a team, Jack. A partnership, you and me, Jack and Eddie, bestest friends through thick and thin.”
“This won’t affect our partnership.”
“Yes it will. It will lead to a romantic involvement and then there’ll be all the drippy smoochy stuff and that will interfere with the action and the car chases.”
“Rubbish,” said Jack, although unconvincingly. The thought of indulging in some drippy smoochy stuff with Dorothy had indeed crossed his mind. As indeed had some of that get down, get naked and get dirty kind of stuff. “She can help us, Eddie,” said Jack. “And we need all the help we can get.”
“We were doing fine on our own. What happened to your inspired calculating stuff? It was you who calculated that the murderers would strike next at the Opera House, remember?”
“Ah,” said Jack, who in all the excitement and everything else had quite forgotten about Wallah the calculating pocket. “About that.”
“We’ll manage on our own,” said Eddie. “Thank you for your offer, Dorothy, but you’ll only get Jack all confused and he won’t be able to keep his mind on the job.”
“Listen,” said Jack, wringing out his serviette ice pack into his empty coffee cup and shaking his fingers about, “I’m up for you helping us, Dorothy, but I have to go to the toilet now. Eddie and I are a partnership, and it’s a fifty-fifty partnership. If Eddie says no then I have to respect his decision, even if I don’t agree with it. But I am going to the toilet, so please speak to him. I’m sure you can win him over.” And Jack winked at Dorothy.
It was an intimate kind of a wink and if Eddie had seen it he would have recognised it to be the kind of wink that meant, “I would love you to help us and I’m certain that a beautiful, intelligent woman such as yourself can soon win over a stroppy toy bear.” And if Eddie had seen it and had recognised it, Jack would have received such a biting from Eddie that if Jack had owned a bicycle he would not have been able to ride it again for at least a week.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Jack said. “Which way is the toilet?”
“Over there,” said Dorothy.
And Jack went off to the toilet.
And went into one of the stalls and locked the stall door behind him. And Jack withdrew Wallah from his trenchcoat and gave her a little stroke.
Wallah gave a little yawn and made a sensual purring sound.
“I’m sorry not to have spoken with you for a while,” said Jack. “As you are probably aware, things have been a little hectic of late.”
“Naturally I am aware. That horrid woman hurt your face – it’s all bruised. Hold me against it, I’ll make it better.”
“Well,” said Jack.
“Please,” said Wallah.
And Jack held the pocket to his face. And it did feel rather nice.
“You don’t need her,” whispered Wallah into Jack’s ear. “I calculate that although in the short term she might facilitate some success, in the long term disaster awaits.”
“You don’t foresee a lasting relationship, then?”
“It looks unfavourable in percentage terms.”
“So I should dump her? Is that what you’re saying? You’re not being a little biased, are you?”
“Biased?” whispered Wallah. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes you do,” said Jack, “and our relationship, our special relationship will only continue if you are totally honest with me.”
“I am dedicated to your success,” said Wallah. “In fact, our special relationship depends directly upon it.”
“Well, I’m asking for your help,” said Jack. “I need all the help I can get. Which is not to say that I do not value yours above all others’, of course.”
“I wonder,” said Wallah, “whether a relationship actually exists anywhere that is based upon pure truth, rather than one partner telling the other partner what they think the other partner wants to hear, rather than the pure truth that that partner should hear from someone he or she trusts.”
With his free hand Jack scratched at his head. “I’m not quite certain what all of that means,” he said, “but I’m sure it’s most profound. So, can you help me out here? Can you tell me what I should do next?”
“Not directly,” said Wallah. “I can calculate odds. And I can tell you this: if you do not bring the malcontents to justice within one week, not a single soul in Toy City will remain alive.”
“One week?” said Jack.
“According to my calculations the evil is growing exponentially. It’s working on a mathematical principle. You have one week at the most.”
“So what must I do?”
“Corporate enterprises such as this Golden Chicken organisation function upon a pyramidal principle. At the base you have the most folk, those in customer facilitation, the counter-service folk, the factory workers, et cetera. Next level up, lower management, supervisors – far fewer. Next level, middle management, then up and up, executive management, board of directors, chief executive officer. And he is not the pinnacle of the pyramid. Above him is a single figure. You must move up the chain of command, seek out this individual – they will be the brains behind it all.”
“That’s rather obvious, surely,” said Jack.
“Obvious perhaps, but it’s how you do it that counts. How you penetrate the chain of command, find your way to the top.”
“And how do I do that?” said Jack.
“I calculate your chances of doing so in your present situation as zero,” said Wallah. “You will have to take employment with the Golden Chicken Consortium. Infiltrate, as it were.”
“Is there time for that?” Jack asked.
“Yes,” said Wallah. “There is, just. I am susceptible to vibrations, Jack. I pick them up, assimilate them. You are now in a land that you do not understand, and I now do understand it. Within three days, if you work hard, persevere and keep your eyes and ears open, you will be able to rise up the pyramid sufficiently to discover who hides upon the pinnacle.”
“I’m hardly likely to get promoted up the management chain in three days,” said Jack.
“Oh yes you can,” said Wallah. “You are now in a land called America where many things are possible. You will realise what is known as ‘The American Dream’.”
“All right,” said Jack. “I’ll do my best.”
“You will have to do better than that.”
“My best is all I have. And I’ll have you to help me, which I appreciate, believe me.”
“Sadly, that is not going to be the case. I calculate that I will only be able to help you for another twelve hours at the most.”
“Why?” asked Jack.
“Because I am dying,” said Wallah.
“What?” and Jack held Wallah out before him. “What are you saying to me?”
“I’m saying that I’m dying. Me and my kind cannot survive here in this world. This world will kill us.”
“Why are you saying this? How do you know this?”
“Believe the evidence of your own eyes,” said Wallah. “You were here no time at all before your wristwatch ceased to work, and less than eight hours after that so did your weapons.”