“I find that really quite moving,” said Eddie’s other self.
“It comes to us all,” said Eddie. “It will come to you too, eventually.”
Eddie’s other self gave Eddie Bear another shoulder pat.
“Could I have a bit of a hug?” asked Eddie.
“Yes, indeed you can.” And Eddie’s other self gave a big hug to Eddie.
“And could I ask you just one little favour?”
“Go on then, just ask.”
“Well,” said Eddie, “I know that Jack shot down one of the chickens’ flying saucers. But I personally didn’t have any part in that, so I was wondering, do you think I could meet to one of the chickens before I die? Just to say hello, just to try to understand. The King of all the chickens, perhaps.”
“It’s the Queen, actually.”
“Then do you think I could meet her, perhaps? Is she here, in this complex?”
The other Eddie grinned from ear to furry ear.
“She is,” said Eddie. “She is here, isn’t she?”
The other Eddie nodded his grinning head. “Oh yes she is,” he said.
“And do you think she might grant me an audience?”
“Well, she might. But I’m not quite certain why she would. You see, she’s a little busy at the moment.”
“I wouldn’t take up much of her time,” said Eddie. “Because I don’t have much time, do I?”
“No, that’s true. But she is very busy, coordinating the final phase of the Toy City project.”
“The final phase?” asked Eddie.
“Tonight – well, within the hour – the task force will fly from here, through The Second Big O of the Hollywood sign, into your world and gather up the remaining denizens of Toy City. To be franchised.”
“All of them?” said Eddie.
“So you see, she is rather busy.”
“Well, it was just a thought.”
The other Eddie looked hard at Eddie Bear. “You really are taking this very well,” he said.
And Eddie Bear shrugged.
And then a sound was to be heard. A terrible sound, as of sirens.
“What was that?” asked Eddie.
“A breach of security.”
“Jack?”
“Not Jack. I will have to take us aloft.”
“Do what you have to,” said Eddie.
And through some means that Eddie did not understand, but which evidently involved the application of advanced chicken technology, Eddie’s other self took the flying disc aloft and soon they were back in the chicken-poo-splattered room.
And the other Eddie was back behind his desk and viewing TV screens.
“Most inconvenient,” he said. “It would seem that we have a heavy police presence above.”
“Really?” said Eddie. “Why?”
“Well, that,” and the other Eddie pointed to a screen that displayed the sweating face of a large and bandaged black man who was struggling from a grounded helicopter, “is LA Police Chief Samuel J. Maggott. He arrested your chum Jack, who later escaped from police custody and found his way to the Haley’s Comet Lounge. It was from there that your chum was directed to come here.”
“I don’t quite understand that,” said Eddie. “In fact, I don’t understand it at all.”
“Mister Haley is in our employ. As are many others. However, it appears that Mister Haley overstepped the mark and reported your chum to the police. Mister Haley is what is known as a hick. He’s as dumb as a dancing dingbat.”
“So what do you intend to do?” Eddie asked.
“I am not altogether sure.” The other Eddie pressed buttons on his desk. Other TV screens lit up to display many black and white police cars, all within the confines of the wire-fenced compound, and many armed officers climbing from these cars.
“Tricky,” said the other Eddie.
“Very,” said Eddie. “And at such a difficult time for you. Do you think I might make a suggestion?”
“Well, you might – go on.”
“Well,” said Eddie, “my end is near. I understand that and I have come to terms with it. Would I be correct in assuming that my Jack plunged to his death in that elevator?”
“Well …” said the other Eddie.
“I thought so,” said Eddie. “But no hard feelings. You were doing what had to be done. I understand that.”
“You really are a most understanding little bear.”
“Most,” said Eddie. “So, the police have come for Jack, haven’t they? So why not give them what they’ve come for?”
“Give them his body. That’s a good idea.”
“No,” said Eddie. “That’s a bad idea. That would attract much suspicion. Questions would be asked. Policemen would hang around the crime scene. Bad idea, don’t do it.”
“No,” said the other Eddie. “You’re right. Then what?”
“I’ll tell you what.” And Eddie Bear smiled. And it was a broad one. It was an ear-to-ear.
The other Eddie pressed another button. He had so many buttons on his poo-flecked desk. “Jack,” he called into an intercom. “Jack, are you there?”
“Yes,” said the voice of the other Jack. “I’m here, boss – what do you want? Does that bear need further roughing-up?”
“No, Jack, no. But we have a bit of trouble upstairs. A lot of policemen have arrived. Would you mind going up to speak to them?”
“What do you want me to say to them, sir?”
“Well, you’ll find a big sweaty black one puffing away next to a helicopter. Go up to him and say these words: ‘I give myself up.’ Do you think you can remember that?”
“Well, of course, sir, but I don’t quite understand.”
“All will become clear. Just do it, please – it is a matter of the utmost importance. And a direct order. Do you understand that?”
The voice of Jack said, “Yes, boss.”
The other Eddie switched off the intercom. “I suppose you’d like to watch this on the TV screen,” he said to Eddie. Eddie Bear nodded.
“Could we watch it on all the screens?” he asked.
And Eddie Bear did enjoy the screenings. He enjoyed watching the other Jack shambling over to Police Chief Samuel J. Maggott. He enjoyed the look of surprise and shock on the face of the other Jack, which the other Eddie brought into close-up, when the other Jack found himself surrounded by so many armed policemen. And although he couldn’t actually hear the remonstrations, he enjoyed the shouting faces. And then the truncheonings down and the police boots going in. Eddie did enjoy those boots going in.
Very much indeed.
“Now you see,” said the other Eddie, clearly enjoying it, too, “that makes me laugh. In fact, that is the first time that my comedy sidekick Jack has made me laugh.”
“I’m so pleased that I could be of assistance,” said Eddie, and he rocked somewhat as he said it.
“Oh,” said the other Eddie. “You’re all but gone, aren’t you?”
“All but so,” said Eddie Bear.
“And do you know,” said the other Eddie, “I do feel for you. Somehow. I do, really.”
“Thanks,” said Eddie Bear.
“And look.” The other Eddie pointed to the TV screens. “They’re leaving. All the police are leaving.”
“Glad to be of assistance. Like I said.”
“You’re as genuine as a golden guinea,” said the other Eddie. “I’ll tell you what. As you haven’t much time, I will let you meet Her Majesty. In fact, I will take you to her now. It’s only fair – I owe you. Okay?”
“Okay,” said Eddie. “Thanks.”
“Come on then,” said the other Eddie. “Let’s do it.”
And he pressed yet another button on his desk.