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repeats, I still couldn't help thinking of his bony pale hands touching her small but attractive boobs and stroking her glamorously dark curls.
Who else was he kissing while he wasn't kissing me? Those sophomores he sometimes ate lunch with? Girls from the cross-country team? Seniors he knew from the November Week retreat? He could be kissing girls all over the Tate Universe without me knowing anything about it.
I came out of the bathroom stall where I'd flushed the note, splashed some water on my face and put on red lipstick.
Then I wiped it off again.
Noel had been kissing Ariel Olivieri.
Kissing.
Ariel.
Ag.
I felt shattered.
Except, how could I be shattered? We weren't together. We would never be together, because of Nora liking him. We had barely spoken to one another since the term started.
Get over it, I told myself. You're not allowed to be shattered.
He's your Chem partner. You're his bodyguard. Nothing more.
***
Noel was waiting for me outside the lab. "Did you get my note?" he asked. I nodded. "Did you eat it?"
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I nodded.
"You did not."
I patted my stomach.
"Tell me you did not. Now I'm getting worried."
"I needed a snack to tide me over till lunch," I told him. "My mother made me drink kale-apple juice for breakfast. She said I'd feel invigorated and my electrolytes would be balanced."
"Did it work?"
I shrugged. "Well, I followed that with a venti vanilla latte. Meghan and I got drive-through Starbucks."
Noel wrinkled his forehead. "That can't be a good mix."
"No. So thanks for the piece of paper. It helped settle my stomach."
We went into the classroom and took seats at our usual lab table. Ariel and Katarina were next to us. Neanderthals Josh and Darcy on the other side. Noel leaned in and whispered: "Stay close. The enemy is at hand."
I liked the feeling of his breath in my ear. "That Fruit Roll-Up better be apricot," I told him sharply. "I'm not dealing with this situation for anything less than apricot."
Fleischman clapped his hands loudly. His comb-over flopped endearingly in the wrong direction. "Emulsions!" he yelled. "An emulsion is a stable mixture of two things that do not normally mix. Oil and vinegar are usually separate, yes? Put them both in ajar, and the oil stays on top and the vinegar on the bottom. Mix them together, and they will separate themselves. But it's possible to add an emulsifier, perhaps a little mustard or egg yolk, mix
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vigorously, and create a stable mixture: salad dressing! Now, name me another emulsion you encounter in your kitchen."
No one raised their hands.
"Emulsions? People?"
No response.
"Okay, then I'll call on someone. Oliver! Name an emulsion."
I hadn't done the reading. "Um. There's emulsion on film?"
"In your kitchen, Oliver!" boomed Fleischman. "Do you have film in your kitchen?"
"Actually, we do keep film in the fridge," I said. "My dad has yet to cross over to digital."
Noel laughed. "Pudding," he said, distracting Fleischman from his attack.
Fleischman jumped with happiness. "Pudding! Exactly! A pudding is a stiffened emulsion! And how about mayonnaise?"
He went on for a long time about droplets of oil, agitation and protein molecules. He also revealed himself to be a mayonnaise enthusiast, waxing on about hollandaise, aioli and other sauces that are basically glorified mayo.
"Wait," Katarina interrupted. "Go back one step. There's egg in mayonnaise?"
"Duh," said Noel.
"Yes," said Fleischman. "It was in the reading. And it's on the ingredient list." He bounded over to the table at the front of the room, secured ajar of Hellmann's and handed it to Katarina.
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"Ugh!" she said, shaking her head. "I don't like eggs."
"Do you like mayonnaise?" asked Fleischman. "I thought I did."
"Then you like eggs! Now, I want each of you to choose a whisk, two eggs, some vinegar, a timer and a beaker of olive oil. Bowls, measuring cups and salt shakers are already on your tables."
Ariel stood to go get her ingredients, but instead of heading directly to the front of the room she walked over to Noel and stood six inches closer to him than was necessary.
"Some of our whisks have many strands," Fleischman announced. "Some have few. I want you to count the strands on your whisks, people, then compare with your neighbors the length of time it takes to create your emulsions. The recipe is on the board!"
Ariel tossed her hair. "Hi, Ruby. Hi, Noel. How's it going?"
"Spankin'," I told her. "Spankin' with a side of ennui."
"Fine," said Noel.
"Did you make any New Year's resolutions, Ruby?" she asked, staring at Noel. Yeah, I thought.
I resolved to keep my hands off Noel. But I didn't know that doing so would mean he'd take up with you.
"I canceled all my catalog subscriptions and gave up bottled water," I said instead.3
***
3Canceling catalogs and giving up bottled water: Actually, kind of true. My mother made those environmental resolutions for our entire family and forced Dad and me to promise we wouldn't secretly buy water or resubscribe to the
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"Oh, wow. What a good person you turned out to be," Ariel said.
"Thanks," I muttered.4
She adjusted the hem of her T-shirt. "I resolved to broaden my musical horizons."
"That's cool," I said. Noel was slouching in his chair and staring at our salt shaker.
"Like I'm getting into punk and indie rock now," Ariel went on. "Not just listening to what comes on the radio. Hey, do either of you know anything about music? I could use some help knowing what to buy that's, you know, off the beaten track."
She didn't mean me.
"All my friends are useless on the subject," she continued.
Noel raised his eyebrows at me, as if to say, Will you get her out of here?
I stood. "Come on, Ariel," I said, as cheerily as possible, linking my arm through hers. She jerked in surprise but didn't pull away. "Let's get our eggs."
Ariel was compliant. "Bye, Noel!" she called as we walked to the front of the room.
He didn't answer.
***
Abercrombie catalog, tempting as that might be. And lest you wonder about my heavy Starbucks consumption, Mom bought me and Meghan venti-size reusable thermos cups.
4 What a good person I turned out to be? Turned out to be? It sounds like a compliment on the surface, but actually what Ariel meant was: "All your life you've been a selfish person, and more recently you've been a roly-poly slut, so it never occurred to me you might do anything of value in the world."
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We got our eggs, mixed them with olive oil, lemon juice and salt. Made emulsions. Generated hypotheses about whisks. Listened to Fleischman talk about emulsifiers and what they did and how they did it.
All through class, whenever Ariel said anything to Noel, I answered.
It happened a lot.
Ariel and I had a number of awkward, cheerful conversations.
She didn't like me, though, so eventually she gave up. Score one for the bodyguard.
At the end of class, Fleischman offered us all Tupper-ware so we could take our mayonnaise home and eat it on sandwiches. "It's an edible experiment, people!" he called as one hundred percent of us left the room without mayo. "Think about it. Now you know the chemical process behind some of your favorite everyday foods!"
In the hallway, Noel grabbed my hand as we strolled toward the refectory. "Thanks," he said. "You were completely excellent back there."
His hand was warm, and part of me wanted nothing more than to hold it, but I shook it off. "I'm not cut out for bodyguarding," I said.