Thom smirked, tossing the letter back onto Plum’s desk. “The beastly man. I should just like to see him make good his threats. Harry has so many men attending us whenever we go out, a butterfly couldn’t get through their defenses.”
The smile left Plum’s face at the reminder of the cloud that hung over their heads. “Yes. I do hope he finds out soon who is behind the attacks. The stress of it is weighing very heavy on Harry. Last night he only had the strength for one—” Plum stopped, blushing a little as she realized what she was about to impart to her niece.
“Yes?” Thom asked brightly, a wicked glint to her eyes.
“Never mind, it doesn’t concern you. Now, let us go over these scenarios I have created.”
Thom smiled. “You are the only woman I know who has the strength of mind to create scenarios for the murder of her ex-husband-who-wasn’t.”
“Murder!” Plum looked up in surprise. “Oh, no, Thom! I gave that idea up days ago. These scenarios are regarding Charles’s scandal, not murder!”
“But…but…you said you wanted him killed! I saw you attempting to garrot Shakespeare’s head!”
“That was days ago,” Plum said, waving away the idea. “I changed my mind that very day when I realized I didn’t have the stomach to kill Charles. No, this plan is much better. I will hold the threat of a scandal over his head so that he is forced to keep silent on the subject of me. I have several excellent scandals planned.”
“But I told Nick — he thinks you want someone to kill Charles!” Thom’s eyes were wide with worry.
“I don’t!” Plum objected.
“I know that now, but I didn’t when I wrote to Nick!”
Plum’s straight brows pulled together as she mulled over what to do with an unwanted murderous henchman, deciding after a few minutes of contemplation that since she was paying him, he would just have to do as she told him. “He will simply have to revise his expectations. If he does not agree to participate in the scandalcreation, I will find someone who will. Now, let me show you what I have come up with.”
“I don’t understand why you have to create scenarios at all,” Thom complained, obligingly pulling up her armchair to sit next to Plum. “After everything I’ve seen of the ton, it seems all you have to do is look sideways at someone and you have a scandal.”
“It’s not quite that easy. The threat of the scandal is what I will use, not the event itself. For that reason, I have used my literary skills to draw up several convincing scenarios.”
“The Shameful Secret Truth Regarding a Viscount’s Youngest Son and His Unnatural Love for a Milk Cow Named Junie,” Thom read aloud. “Well, I like the title. Very lively and colorful.”
“Thank you,” Plum said modestly. “I have always felt I had a gift for turning a neat phrase.”
“Mmm. What’s the next one?”
“I call it simply Lost His Wits and Believes He’s a Large Willow Tree on Hampstead Heath. As you can see, it is a bit more involved in that Charles has to be first drugged, then taken to Hampstead Heath where several willow fronds will be tied to his arms.”
“Very interesting,” Thom said. She tapped a finger on the bottom of the paper. “And the loosed tigers?”
“They are there to throw suspicion away from anyone who might have noticed that Charles was drugged. I thought that a particularly clever touch in that it will confuse people. Otherwise, they might just think it was a jest on the part of his livelier friends, and dismiss the idea that he was insane.”
Thom frowned. “But wouldn’t a tiger be likely to maul innocent passersby?”
“Yes, but if you read the note at the bottom, the tigers’ handlers are to be available at all times in order to keep an unwanted tragedy from occurring. The tigers are there just to cause confusion, really. If you were there and tigers were on the loose, would you stop to consider whether or not a man dressed as a tree had been drugged?”
“No, I suppose I wouldn’t. That is a good distraction. And the third scenario?”
“The tigers gave me this idea. It’s called Soulless Wretch of a Man Who Enrages and Torments Innocent Bear Cubs. That is a bit more difficult to enact, since a bear cub must be found and enraged before it can be discovered with Charles, but I am convinced it would work.”
“Yes, I see your point.”
Plum nodded sagely. “I have two more scenarios, but I’m not as pleased with them as I am the first three. I will present them to the murderer that your burglar found, and convince him that it’s much better to simply arrange for a scandal than to murder Charles.”
Thom didn’t look convinced, although she said, “If you say so. When do you meet with him? And may I come with you?”
“Tonight.” Plum eyed her niece, chewing on her lip as she thought how best to phrase her request. “I don’t want Harry to know where I’m going.”
“No, of course not,” Thom said, supportive to the end.
“So I thought to tell him that you and I had been invited to a recital. Harry dislikes recitals — he says they bore him to tears, so if he thought that we were going to one, he might not insist on accompanying us.”
“But he would send Juan and the footmen with us.”
“Yes, but here’s where it pays to have a devious mind — I have written to Lady Davell, and told her how well I’ve heard her oldest daughter plays and sings, and as I expected, she invited us to an intimate dinner so we can hear the girl. I’ve accepted on your and my behalf, and to Sir Ben’s we will go…only I will make an excuse early on and return home. Or they’ll think I will.”
“Oh!” Thom said, her eyes full of admiration. “But really you’ll go to meet the murderer!”
“Exactly.” Plum smiled, pleased that Thom grasped the finer nuances of her plan. “I shall slip out of the house with no one the wiser, returning home after I am done.”
“There’s just one thing — you won’t have anyone to protect you if you slip out unnoticed. What if you are attacked?”
“The accidents have all involved the children, not me. I’m quite certain no one is the least bit interested in me.”
“Harry won’t like it,” Thom said doubtfully.
“Harry won’t know, so it won’t disturb him. Will it?” Plum asked with meaningful emphasis.
“No, I suppose not. I do wish I could come with you to meet the murderer. I’ve never met one before, and if he’s anything like Nick—”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t be. You said Nick turned down the opportunity to do the task himself, which I admit shows a niceness I hadn’t expected in a burglar, but still, a murderer is a different sort of individual all together. Now, here’s what I want you to say in case Harry decides he wishes to accompany us—”
Her worries were for naught. Harry, who had been acting a bit strangely ever since he returned from a visit to his friend Lord Wessex’s house — he was prone to subjecting her to odd, unreadable looks — posed no objections when she mentioned casually that she and Thom had been invited to dinner at the unexceptional Sir Ben Davell’s.
“I have an engagement myself this evening,” he said, giving her yet another of those odd, piercing glances, as if he wanted to speak to her about a subject, but couldn’t bring himself to it.
“Oh, do you? Something to do with the situation?” Plum asked in a whisper, casting a worried glance over to where the children were playing a game of Goose.