Taking their leave of Collins was not as easy as she hoped, but eventually they were alone. They pushed the prams over the rocky walkway, admiring the flowers in inane phrases that only served to heighten the strange tension. Finally, Lizzy could hold her tongue no longer.
“Charlotte, I have to ask. Are you unable to have more children?”
Her companion was silent for a long while. Lizzy feared studying her face, assuming the grief over an inability to conceive must be great. She knew that Charlotte’s delivery of the girls was tortuous, although Charlotte had never given details. It was not uncommon for injury to occur of a nature that made pregnancy impossible or unwise.
“No,” Charlotte answered in a grave tone. “I am sure I could have more children. I simply do not wish to have more.”
“Oh! I see. That is, I can imagine the birth was difficult so, yes, it would make sense…”
“I do not fear birth or being with child, Lizzy.”
Her voice was so low and raising from the middle of Charlotte’s chest due to her hung head that Lizzy had difficulty hearing the muttered words. But she did hear them and sad comprehension dawned instantly.
“I do not wish to do what is required to conceive. That holds no interest to me. I prefer the humiliation of not providing a son over the humiliation of… performing the act needed to create one.”
Lizzy wanted to cry. They salvaged their afternoon’s outing but Lizzy’s heart was heavy. She rushed into Darcy’s arms the second he walked into their chamber, practically knocking him off his booted feet. He managed to squeak out a few words of concern and question, but not many before she latched on to his lips with a desperate urgency that was thrilling—as his body instantly reacted to it—but rather frightening.
“Elizabeth,” he croaked, regaining his equilibrium enough to draw her away and meet her eyes. “I hate to sound as if I am complaining, but what is the meaning of this barrage? What has happened?”
“A conversation with Charlotte that has unsettled me greatly but also rekindled my appreciation for you and what we have together. Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
“Just this morning as a matter of fact. Several times. Of course you also cried my name mixed with that of a deity, but I am certain you meant the part about loving me.”
Lizzy shook her head at his attempt to tease, clasping his face firmly within her palms. “That is precisely what I mean.”
“I am afraid I do not follow.”
“William, we are blessed in so many ways I can no longer count them, but our richest blessing is in how we love each other. How we desire each other and the pleasure it brings into our life and relationship is a true miracle.”
“I will not argue that declaration, dearest.” He kissed her softly, and then clasped her hand to lead toward the sofa. “Now tell me what this has to do with Mrs. Collins.”
“On the bed,” she tugged his hand, turning the opposite direction. “I will tell you but I must love you, Fitzwilliam.” He did not resist, but felt it obligatory to point out that dinner was served in less than an hour and they still needed to dress. “Some matters supersede dinner hour, even in your aunt’s house.”
She pushed him backward on the bed, immediately bending to kiss him deeply while stimulating with well-placed strokes. Darcy kissed back, totally forgetting about dinner engagements or the Collins question in seconds. Lizzy did relate the conversation with Charlotte in between kisses and peeling away restricting clothing. Darcy sympathized with her sadness over the plight of Charlotte but was unable to generate much of his own, especially under the present onslaught. All he could think was how grateful he was that she was his wife and not, God forbid, married to Mr. Collins. Imagining any woman engaged in marital relations with that sniveling pathetic excuse for a man was a vision he simply could not conjure. Nor would he ever try.
Chapter Four
Addition to the Loving Family
The Rosings visit was brief. Darcy was anxious to return to Pemberley and finalize preparations for their baby, and it was also the time for harvest and settling estate matters for the winter ahead. The latter could be handled by his steward and other staff, but Darcy thrived on being a part of the management.
The two weeks passed pleasantly for the most part. Lizzy divided her time between Anne, who she had grown fond of over the years, and Charlotte. The latter made no further mention of marital issues, a fact Lizzy was thankful for since there was nothing she could offer on the subject under the circumstances. By the final afternoon, sitting with Charlotte while the children played on the lawn, their conversations were light and almost as easy as in the years of their youth. Lizzy was pleased, even though she knew that the months apart would add strain to a relationship that was altering.
Lady Catherine was polite, or as polite as she ever was, but the combined annoyances of Lizzy and George Darcy had clearly worn on her nerves! Lizzy avoided Darcy’s aunt as much as possible and her teasing was subtle and checked, out of respect for her husband. George did not possess the same restraints, so his egging of her was more blatant, leading to verbal sparring bordering on arguments. There was no doubt that Lady Catherine was happy to usher them into the waiting carriage, her farewells brief.
Parting from Anne was bittersweet, both Darcy and Lizzy caring for her greatly and knowing it would be many months before they saw her again. Witnessing her pregnancy advance with health and happiness intact eased their minds. Still, even with the current evidence pointing to a positive outcome and the obvious devotion from her husband—Dr. Penaflor’s skills as a physician supreme and given an added boost via consultations with Dr. Darcy—they would breathe freer once the birth was over and the babe reported healthy.
They veered northwest to London, tarrying at Darcy House for a little over a week so Darcy could handle the numerous business affairs that had arisen while he was out of the country. Lizzy occupied her time with purchasing both necessary and frivolous items for the baby. Social activities were nonexistent, partly due to the time of year, since few of the ton stayed in London for the summer, but also because of the haste Darcy employed in completing his business so they could get home.
Finally the adventure came to a close. By mid-August, after nearly six months away, the family was comfortably resettled at Pemberley.
The first order of business was to move Alexander from the nursery into the spacious chamber that had been prepared for him while they were gone. Freshly painted and redecorated with varying shades of blue, the chamber was bright and cheery with a large bed that was perfect for parent-son playtime and story reading.
The room faced south with a panoramic view of the River Derwent and pastureland beyond. Sheep roamed freely over the grass, Alexander mesmerized by their sedate activities as observed from the tall windows while he played. It would be a few years before Darcy was told that whenever he and Parsifal went for a run across the meadow Alexander would sit on the window seat, transfixed for as long as he could see them. Mrs. Hanford positioned the rocking horse near the window and Alexander would “ride” the toy horse while watching his father and faithful mount streaking over the tree dotted glade, sheep hastening to move out of the way.
Transitioning from small nursery to larger room was not without problems, however.
He was happy to have wide areas of empty floor to set up his tiny armies and the miniature castle built by Uncle Goj and his papa. The collection of wooden blocks was assigned the northeast corner where they stayed within the allotted area but were never neatly put away. The fanciful replica of Noah’s Ark with ever-increasing pairs of animals was given a table with painted land and water for the appropriate creatures to dwell while waiting for the flood. The chest constructed by his father sat under one window and housed his favorite books, colored drawing chalks and crayons, and stacks of paper. Additional toy chests and shelves lined one wall. For a busy, nearly two-year-old, it was paradise on earth.