She smiled. “I know of him; who at court does not? He was rather vociferous about his aspirations, declaring to all who cared to listen that he considered himself the most suitable candidate to wed the queen, encouraged by his ally on the council, Bishop Gardiner. I also know, though it’s far less public, that Mary was amenable to the possibility until the Hapsburg delegation arrived. Then she rejected Courtenay outright. He’s not apt to forgive the insult; I think he uses Princess Elizabeth to instill such fear of an uprising in her sister’s name that Mary will return her consideration to him.”
There was no avoiding her intimation now. She had divulged too much knowledge of matters that she should know nothing about.
“You are well informed,” I said. “I understand now why you thought Renard might have told me about you. He’s using you to spy on the queen, isn’t he?”
She did not flinch, didn’t even try to feign protest. “I’m not proud of it, but yes, I spy for him.” She paused, meeting my stare. “The fact that he didn’t tell you about me means more than you think. He must not trust you. Indeed, I believe he is the one who wants you dead.”
I remembered the words on the paper: You cannot save her. Had it been Renard’s message? Had he decided to hire me because the queen had ordered it, only to then do away with me? If so, then he probably suspected that I was, in fact, Elizabeth’s man.
“I have no doubt someone wants me dead,” I replied. “But at the moment, I’m more interested in why you are warning me against the very man you work for.”
Though her tone didn’t change, the tightening of her mouth betrayed a carefully contained vehemence. “Because I detest him. Since I was a child, I’ve been bound to his will. He made me spy for him at the Hapsburg court from the moment I shed my first blood; you have no idea what he’s capable of. He’ll ingratiate himself with the emperor at any cost, which is why he fears Courtenay. The earl would be a more popular choice for the queen’s husband than any foreign prince, and if enough pressure is brought to bear, Mary could decide the same. Should that occur, Renard will lose the emperor’s favor and be condemned to a lifetime of menial labor as an ambassador. Hence his order that I report everything I hear and see in the queen’s apartments.”
Her revelations sickened me, but I was not surprised. It was all part of Renard’s drive to incriminate the earl-a rival for Mary’s hand-as well as his seemingly preternatural influence over the queen herself. The royal apartments were her refuge; only there could she feel at ease. No doubt she’d discussed in the privacy of those rooms her fears concerning Philip, as well as her misgivings about Elizabeth and Courtenay.
Renard knew it all. Through Sybilla, he had bored his way into Mary’s heart.
“I appreciate your candor,” I said at length, “and I assure you, your confidences are safe with me. But if what you say is true, you mustn’t risk yourself for my sake.”
She gave a brief laugh. “You flatter me if you think I am that selfless. Renard spoke the truth when he told you I was spoken for. He would wed me to the Duke of Feria, that same grandee who watched your squire die in your arms. I’m to be sent to Spain to live out my days as Feria’s wife-unless I act. I still have time, you see; my marriage is contingent on Renard fulfilling all of the emperor’s demands. Only then will Feria consent to take me as his bride. I do not intend to waste whatever time I have left.”
Dread coiled about me. “What demands must Renard fulfill?”
“You already know. His Imperial Majesty doesn’t much care for his son to marry an older queen with a younger, heretic sister as her heir-not if said sister will wreck his plans for England if the queen dies without a child. Renard must do more than put Philip in Mary’s bed; he must ensure that Elizabeth does not survive it.”
I did not reply at first. I gauged her in silence, aware that she could be trying to mislead me, luring me into compliance so she could betray me to Renard. I found only a stark candor in her eyes, almost as if she were indifferent to the devastating truths she had just confessed. I knew she wasn’t. Under her elegant facade smoldered an ardor for vengeance more than capable of destroying anyone who came between her and her freedom. Ardor like hers could be a potent weapon.
“It seems you know everyone’s secrets,” I finally said.
“Not everyone’s,” she replied, “but I do know Renard’s. I understand how he operates. I will use whatever I can against him. I want him ruined. I want him chained to some backwater post for the rest of his days. I’ll not be beholden to him or any man again, not if I can avoid it.”
My wariness thawed into admiration. She might be a stranger to me in many respects, but I understood her, for I had felt the same helplessness myself. Ever since I’d been old enough to realize the world had no empathy for the powerless, I’d also fought to survive, just as Sybilla did. She sought freedom after years of living under Renard’s heel, as I’d once lived under Robert Dudley’s. Renard was cruel, calculating, and ruthless-like the man I’d served. He believed he deserved better and was willing to do anything to achieve it.
I felt the collapse of my brittle defense. As if she sensed it, Sybilla bridged the space between us with a single step. This time, I couldn’t evade her touch, even as a fleeting image of Kate went through me. I was riveted by Sybilla’s gaze, by the heat of her proximity …
“Don’t you see?” she asked. “I must be free of him. You seek to protect the princess, and I seek to save myself, so let us work together. Let me help you find the proof you need.”
“No,” I said haltingly. I tried to step back. “I cannot ask this of-”
“You did not ask.” She leaned to me and quenched my breath. Her lips were like scorched velvet; as they grazed mine, desire exploded in me, hot and fierce.
Without another word, she turned away and went back down the gallery, the hem of her black gown swirling about her feet. In minutes she’d rounded the corner and vanished, yet as I stood motionless, I felt as if she were still before me, as if she had branded her very presence onto my skin, and I had already began to surrender to the unthinkable.
* * *
I returned to my room, my mind in a whirlwind. Grabbing my cloak and cap, I went to the stables, saddled Cinnabar, and cantered from the palace. I kept seeing Sybilla in my head; I had to fight back the memory of what I had felt with her. I couldn’t lose my self-control. Not now. Not with so much at stake. It was a momentary failing: I was grieving Peregrine and suffering the effects of living under prolonged tension at court. I was flesh and bone, beset by the frailties of any man; it did not mean I was faithless. I wouldn’t lie to myself by denying my attraction to Sybilla, but I would never betray Kate, nor take advantage of a woman so clearly entrapped by her circumstances.
Still, I found myself riding through London in a haze, besieged by my own inner tumult, almost passing the church of All Hallows. I reined Cinnabar to an abrupt halt, causing him to snort in displeasure at my sharp pull on his mouth.
I could not think of it now. I had to focus on the heart-crushing task ahead.
Constructed of lichen-weathered stone, with its great turreted spire, the church was well appointed. It also offered an unsettling view of the nearby Tower. I stared toward that hulking fortress, like a closed fist behind its curtain wall, and wondered which of those tiny arrow slits marked the Dudleys’ cell.
I would soon find out, I thought with a shudder, and I turned away to enter the cavernous church through a narrow doorway. I did not expect what I found. All Hallows was a burial place for those executed in the Tower; Sir Thomas More, martyr to King Henry’s break with Rome, lay here. The echo of past cruelties permeated its ancient walls, but so did astonishing beauty, manifest in its painted archways, gilded statues, and glorious stained-glass windows. The glory of the Roman faith had never been fully erased here, and when I explained to the rotund priest who hastened to greet me why I’d come, he murmured platitudes and led me down worn stone steps into an icy crypt.