“Or it could not be,” I countered. I hesitated, regarding him. Sometimes I forgot that few of us knew Elizabeth as well as we supposed. It was part of her charm; she could make anyone feel like her intimate, when in fact she hid her true nature in enigma. “Do you actually believe she’s capable of plotting against her own sister?” I asked cautiously.
He gave a dry chuckle. “When it comes to Mary and Elizabeth, nothing would surprise me less. You’d be hard-pressed to find two women more disparate, let alone two who are sisters. I fear they’re fated to become mortal enemies. Battle lines are being drawn even as we speak, with Mary on the one side, determined to wrest the realm from heresy and bind us to a foreign power, while Elizabeth is on the other as her heir, the last hope for an independent land beholden to the Protestant faith. Which one shall win?”
His voice quickened, imbued with urgency. “If Elizabeth is involved in Courtenay’s plot, she must be stopped before it is too late. Like her, I’ve no wish for us to fall prey to Spain and the Inquisition, but unlike her, I’ve lost the impetuosity of youth. Elizabeth fails to realize that Mary nears her fortieth year. Even if Prince Philip manages to get her with child, she may never carry it to term. Without an heir of Mary’s body, Elizabeth can be queen. We can guide her to her destiny-you and I. But first, we must keep her alive.”
The echo of his words faded, until the crackling of the flames in the hearth was clearly heard. I stared into the fire, weighing his concerns in my mind.
I said quietly, “I will do it, then. I will go to court.”
His entire posture sagged. All of a sudden, he revealed the profound weariness lurking behind his imperturbable facade, the insidious toll that years of toil in the arena of power, extracting bribes and favors, instigating plots and schemes, had taken on his spirit.
“Thank you,” he said. “On the day she takes the throne, may it be sooner rather than later, God willing, I promise you’ll be well compensated for your service.”
I stood. “Don’t promise anything quite yet. I said I’d go to court to help her, but I go on my terms. Understood? I’ll brook no interference, no matter what course I take. If you have any men in London you’re thinking of putting on my tail, warn them off now. If you don’t, if I find out you’re misleading me in any way, you will regret it.”
His mouth twitched. “I believe we understand each other.” He reached into the satchel by his chair and took out a small leather purse. “For your expenses.”
“I do this for the princess. I don’t need payment from you.”
He set the purse on my chair. “Consider it a loan, then.” He came to his feet. I took satisfaction in it. I finally had gotten the upper hand when it came to William Cecil.
As he started to leave, I said, “What of this informant? Should I try to find him?”
“Absolutely not. If he wants to be found, he’ll let us know.”
* * *
It snowed in the next days-a light dusting that dissipated by the afternoon yet left a new and profound chill in the air. We were occupied from dawn till dusk, readying the animals and fields for the onslaught of winter, finishing the stocking of the larders and cellars, pruning the last of the fruit trees, and covering herb patches and other delicate plants to shelter them from the night’s frost.
I sent word to Cecil and received his instructions in return. While I prepared, Kate and I did our best to not compound our impending separation. She set herself to purchasing cloth and making me the court doublets and shirts I required, sewing by the fire at night while I pored over Cecil’s transcription of the warnings in the reports, seeking some other clue I might have missed. The heaviness between us thickened, so that even Mistress Ashley finally made comment of it on the morning of my departure as I packed my belongings.
The plump matron who’d overseen Elizabeth’s household for years had become a stalwart presence in my life as well. Energetic and devoted to the princess’s welfare, Kate Ashley had boundless optimism and an ability to make everyone around her feel at ease. I knew she’d not taken it well when Elizabeth refused to let her accompany her to London; they had quarreled, as was their wont, with Ash Kat, as Elizabeth dubbed her, wringing her hands as she watched the princess ride away.
“No good can come of it,” she had said at the time. “She and that sister of hers should never be in the same city, much less under the same roof. I told her to stay put, feign an illness, but would she listen to me? No. There she goes, into the very jaws of the wolf.”
Now Mistress Ashley bustled into my chamber to declare, “You’re going to bring her home, yes? No shenanigans this time, no sneaking into forbidden rooms or jumping off leads into the Thames? You’re going to pack her up and bring her here, where she belongs.”
Clearly Kate had been confiding in her over the kitchen table at night, after I’d retired. “That would be the goal-if she’ll let me,” I added, with a rueful smile.
Kat Ashley snorted. “I warned you, serving her is no banquet. She demands more than she ever gives and rarely shows any gratitude. I hope you’re prepared. The only thing she hates more than being told what to do is being told what she should not do.”
“I’m aware of that.” I latched my bag, then lifted it to test its weight. Cecil’s loan had allowed me two new doublets, several changes of hose, and shoes suitable for court, all of which were heavy. I didn’t want my horse Cinnabar to be overburdened. It would take a full day’s ride to reach London, maybe more if the weather worsened.
Mistress Ashley reached into her apron pocket and took out an oil-paper bundle tied with twine. “For the road,” she said. I accepted it in gratitude, knowing there’d be a chunk of fresh-dried venison, good cheese, and fresh-baked bread. Then she pressed another pouch into my palm, this one unmistakably filled with coin. “I’ve been saving for a day like this. A smaller cut of meat here, some extra butter sold there-it all adds up.”
I started to protest that I had money left over from Cecil, but she held up a hand. “I insist. You cannot go to court like a pauper, not if you hope to impress the queen.” Her keen eyes met mine. “The girl is beside herself,” she said. I went still. “She won’t say anything because you are doing your duty, but she fears you, too, are going into the mouth of danger.”
“I know,” I said softly. “But no one at court knows much about Daniel Beecham.” As I spoke aloud the name of my alias, I touched my chin. I’d let my red-gold beard grow out as thick as I could, trimming it to the shape of my jaw, with a fashionable jutting prong at my chin. Between the beard and my long hair I hardly recognized myself. Would it be enough? Could I return to court and not give myself away as that callow squire who’d turned Northumberland’s plans upside down?
“You could be any man,” said Mistress Ashley, as if she read my thoughts. She took my face between her hands. “Kate needs you. Though she stays behind, her heart goes with you. All our hearts do. All we want is for you and Her Grace to return to us, safe and sound.”
A lump clogged my throat. “You’re not making this any easier,” I muttered.
“I don’t intend to.” She patted my cheek. I embraced her, losing myself for a moment in her crisp scent of herbs and linseed oil and all the uncomplicated good things in life.
“There now,” she muttered, drawing back. “Enough of that. Come, it’s getting late and you’ve a long journey ahead. The boy can hardly contain his excitement.”
I started. “Boy?”
She smiled. “Did you think we’d really let you go off on your own? Peregrine is going with you.” She wagged a finger, again cutting off my protest. “It’s not as if he’d stay, anyway. You know well that the moment you left, he’d be right behind you.”
Chapter Three
As we went into the courtyard, I saw Peregrine holding the reins of his horse, swathed in a cloak, his thick curls shoved under a wool cap. Mistress Ashley was right: If I tried to leave him behind, he’d not stay. I loathed exposing him again to the dangers of court, but he had always served me well. He had even saved my life-twice, as he liked to remind me. I could do no better when it came to a loyal companion.