The action of the play takes place in the office of Dr Alex Farquhar at Fairfields, an experimental hospital for the criminally insane. The office is cosy and old-fashioned. It seems to belong to the sixties, perhaps to the world of Hammer Horror.
A large, cluttered desk dominates the room. A window looks out onto fields, trees and a low wall. On the other side, a door opens into a cupboard. Incongruously, a complete human skeleton stands on a frame in one corner.
Sitting in the chair in front of the desk is Mark Styler, a writer in his early thirties. Casually dressed, his face is pale and his haircut is a little odd … otherwise he’s the archetypal ‘expert’, as seen on TV.
He’s been kept waiting. He looks at his watch, then takes out a digital recorder and switches it on. He records.
STYLER: Recording. Six fifteen. Thursday. July twenty-second.
And so it began.
I’m not sure I breathed during Styler’s opening monologue, watching him walk around the office, recording his thoughts as he had done a hundred times before. I knew what I was waiting for. Mindgame is, at least in part, a comedy. It had to sell itself as such to the audience and my experience on the road had taught me that the first laugh was crucial. After that, everyone could relax.
It came when Styler moved away from the window and examined the bookshelves.
STYLER: Dr Farquhar arranges his books in alphabetical order. I wonder if I can trust him?
It wasn’t a particularly funny line but for some reason it had always hit the spot with the audience and it did the same now. I heard the ripple of laughter spread through the darkness and something pricked at the back of my neck. I thought, for the first time that evening, that it was going to be all right.
The next hour sped past and it seemed to me that the play went as well as it possibly could. Nobody fluffed their lines. The set worked. The laughs arrived more frequently, and as the action became darker, I could feel the tension in the house. Nurse Plimpton was attacked. Mark Styler was tricked into putting on a straitjacket. Dr Farquhar walked towards him with a scalpel. Curtain. Applause. Interval.
I went outside once the house lights had come up. There was no point hanging around in the bar as, this being a first night, people would largely be keeping their opinions to themselves, so there would be nothing to overhear. And if anyone did say anything memorable, my family would pick it up and report back to me. After the tension of the opening moments, I needed some fresh air. It was an unpleasant night. Although this was April, a wintery breeze was blowing down the Strand and there was a sheen of rain making the pavements gleam. I noticed Ewan Lloyd had come out too. He was standing at the corner of the theatre, dressed in a black astrakhan coat buttoned up to the neck, and I went over to him.
‘How do you think it’s going?’ I asked him.
He grimaced. ‘Tirian missed out two lines in the first scene,’ he said. ‘And the bloody projector got stuck again.’
The projector was used to make the picture on the wall change from one image to another during the performance, but it had to happen slowly so the audience didn’t notice. It had seemed fine to me, and I hadn’t noticed the missing lines. It struck me that Ewan was even more nervous than I was, but then this was his first London production for some time.
‘Otherwise it’s OK,’ he went on. ‘I think they’re enjoying it.’
‘The critics?’
‘I mean the audience. You can never tell with the critics, sitting there, making notes. Did you see that Harriet Throsby from the Sunday Times is in the house?’ I was surprised by the hatred in his voice.
‘Is that so surprising?’
‘I’d have thought she’d have sent an assistant rather than coming herself. We’re an out-of-town production.’
‘Maybe that’s a good thing.’ I was thinking we might get a more prominent review if she wrote it herself.
‘Nothing about that woman is good. Nothing! She’s a complete bitch, and you might as well know that I’ve never had a good review from her.’ Ewan hadn’t raised his voice. His anger was all the more striking for being expressed in such a subdued way. He stared out at the rain, which was falling harder now. ‘Some of the stuff she writes is pure vitriol,’ he went on. ‘She chooses her words carefully, rancid opinions carefully laced with deeply personal insults. They say she started life as a journalist but wanted more power. That’s what it’s all about. I don’t think she even likes theatre.’
‘Well, there are plenty of other critics.’
‘She’s the most influential. People read her because she’s so vile. It’s like watching a car crash.’
‘She might be enjoying the play.’
He sniffed. ‘What she thinks is one thing. What she writes is another.’
I remembered this conversation as the second act began and as a result, I wasn’t able to enjoy even a minute of it. All the doubts and misgivings that had been at the back of my mind suddenly came rushing to the fore and I remembered that audiences in the provinces and audiences in the capital are noticeably different. Expectations are considerably higher in London. So are the seat prices. Outside London, people tend to be more forgiving, more determined to enjoy themselves. Could we pass muster as a West End show? It suddenly struck me that the set was looking shabby and fragile after months on the road followed by several weeks stacked up in a warehouse in Slough. The second half was too long. I couldn’t stop myself glancing at Harriet Throsby, her face in the light reflected from the stage. She was wearing glasses that hid her eyes, but I could see that she wasn’t smiling. She wasn’t showing any emotion at all. Was she my enemy? She certainly seemed to be Ewan’s.
I felt a surge of relief when the curtain fell and then rose again for the cast to take their bows. I noticed Jordan Williams point in my direction and smile. He had spotted me in the audience and I was grateful for the gesture. The applause was loud and sustained but was it sincere? It was impossible to tell on a first night. The audience was on our side. They wanted us to succeed. But they might be acting too.
I made my way out into the street, shaking hands with people I’d never met, surrounded by smiles and congratulations. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the critics slipping away and tried to put them out of my mind. It was over. It had gone well. Now it was time for the first-night party and I was determined to enjoy myself. I would drink too much. This was my moment.
The Vaudeville Theatre was almost opposite the Savoy Hotel with its gorgeous cocktail bars and Grill Room, but Ahmet hadn’t been able to stretch quite that far. Instead, he had taken over a Turkish restaurant called Topkapi, on the edge of Covent Garden, which happened to be owned by his cousin. It was a small place, just off the piazza, with a wooden front decorated to look vaguely Byzantine and an outstretched canopy that was catching the rain. There was a bar as you entered and tables beyond, lots of mirrors, and lights that were a little too bright. As I walked in, I heard music playing and saw a three-man band in traditional costumes, sitting cross-legged on a square of carpet: lute, violin and drums. Waiters in tight-fitting black trousers and waistcoats were circulating with glasses of sparkling wine. The food – dolmas, borek and koftas – was spread out on the bar.
Ahmet, standing beside the door, greeted me with an embrace. ‘My dear friend! I am bursting with happiness. You heard the applause? One minute, thirty-two seconds. I timed it on my watch.’ He pointed to what was, I suspected, a fake Rolex. ‘We have a success. I know it.’
Standing beside him, Maureen looked less convinced.
Ahmet snapped his fingers at one of the waiters. ‘A glass of Yaşasin for the author!’ He beamed at me. ‘Or maybe you would prefer the Çalkarasi rosé? It’s excellent. The best.’