You may purchase the smallest plug available in order to be realistic and then find it’s too small. I’ve heard plenty of stories from women who insert a slim plug only to have it slip out—or even shoot out across the room—at a crucial moment.
If this happens to you, you don’t necessarily have to run back to the store for a bigger one. If you’ve been doing your pelvic muscle exercises, your sphincter muscles should be strong enough to hold the plug in. (In fact, your partner “making” you hold a plug inside your ass can be a fun and sexy exercise itself.) Many of us can contract our muscles around the plug and grip it. Others may want to start with a slimmer size to warm up, then find a medium-sized one for extended plug play.
Vibrators
I just got a really nice expandable vibrating butt plug. It’s a little on the large size and will take some getting used to, but the vibrations are quite powerful and its potential for use is incredible.
For people who like stimulation of those fabulous nerve endings in the anal area, vibrators can really do the trick. There are vibrators made especially for external stimulation of the genital area that work for stimulation of the clitoris, vaginal area, and anal area; there are also two-pronged vibrators for simultaneous clitoral and anal stimulation. You can buy vibrating butt plugs, which add vibration to all the other features discussed in the previous section, as well as various attachments and sleeves that fit on standard-size vibrators to transform them into anal toys. Vibrators are also great for anal penetration, and vibration can actually relax the anal sphincters. Just make sure that the vibrator is long enough for penetration—over seven inches—and has a flared base. Some men especially enjoy being anally penetrated with a vibrator since vibrators are great for stimulating the prostate gland.
Dildos
I like to fuck a man with a big black dildo.
I love it when my female partner fucks me with her strap-on dildo.
Dildos come in so many different shapes and sizes that there is one for practically every individual taste, need, and desire. There are dildos that look like penises (with balls and realistic-looking heads), dildos that look like torpedoes, and even dildos that look like dolphins. Dildos are made of silicone, latex, or vinyl. Silicone toys tend to be more flexible, smooth, and nonporous, so they’re easy to clean. Latex or vinyl is less resilient than silicone but still relatively nonporous. Jellylike dildos (and butt plugs) are very porous and should always be used with a condom. Dildos that curve up from the base (instead of being straight) are often better suited to anal intercourse because they nicely mirror the curve of the rectum. Dildos are the best tools for in-and-out penetration.
For a woman who wants to experience anal penetration with a male partner whose penis is either too big or too long for comfort, dildos provide a great alternative. (A less common scenario is a woman whose partner’s penis is not big enough, in which case a dildo can give a girl what she needs). Likewise, for a man who likes to be penetrated by something other than his female partner’s fingers, or who wants to experience “being fucked up the ass with a cock,” a woman can strap a dildo between her legs and satisfy that desire.
I’m more of a finger/tongue person. But I did once strap on a dildo and do my boyfriend from behind. It was fun but a little awkward because I am shorter than him so I couldn’t really reach his head to kiss him. I love the response of my partner [when I am fucking his ass], it gets me more excited. And I like the notion of penetrating someone else’s body.
Many women who have sex with other women also like to use dildos to penetrate their partners. Women can experiment with a variety of sizes to find which one is most comfortable. Dildos can give that full feeling as well as satisfy the craving to fuck and be fucked.
Some people like to penetrate their partner with a dildo held in their hand; this tends to give the active partner more control of the dildo and its movement. Others opt to wear a dildo in a harness and have their hands free for other activities. Most harnesses are designed to have the dildo rest in place between one’s legs. While lots of women love to fuck this way, a word to novices: like just about everything else, it takes practice. So, for all you guys out there who are thrilled at the idea of a girl with a dick doing you, have some patience while she practices her technique; remember the first time you used that tool of yours, and give her a break while she figures hers out. And for all women fucking with dildos, make sure you talk to your partner, ask what she or he likes, and try different positions to see what works best for both of you. There is also a harness on the market that you strap to your thigh; many women find the thigh harness a great alternative, giving them better flexibility and control of a dildo. The thigh harness is also a way to rectify a significant difference in height or size between two partners.
Anal Beads
Anal beads are latex or plastic beads on a string made of nylon (or sometimes cotton) with a ring on the end. The beads can be the size of marbles all the way up to the size of golf balls. The most popular beads are usually one-half to one inch in diameter. Regardless of their size, make sure the balls are clean, smooth (file the edges if they’re not), and well-lubricated and that the string is at least seven inches long. You can also put a condom over the beads and knot the open end of the condom. Cotton strings are much harder to keep clean than nylon; likewise, beads made of soft rubber or jelly rubber are very porous and difficult to disinfect. So most people will want to make sure they get nylon strings and latex beads, or definitely use a condom every time.
Many people like to insert the beads in the rectum while having their genitals stimulated. You should insert one bead at a time, giving the rectum a chance to adjust to the sensation; plus, it can be quite intense to feel the anus contract around each bead. If you’ve been practicing your Kegel and pelvic exercises, you’ll be more aware of these contractions and even be able to control them voluntarily. Some people like to feed the balls inside and then pull them out just as they are climaxing; others like to climax with the beads in and then remove them. Remember to withdraw the beads slowly and gently—pulling the entire string of beads out in one motion too quickly could be uncomfortable.
One final reminder on the subject of beads and balls: you should never put any round objects—marbles, super balls, ping-pong balls, golf balls, ben-wa balls, or any other kind of balls—in your rectum. Besides irritating your rectal tissue, they can also become irretrievable without a speedy trip to the emergency room. Use only beads that are on a string and designed for anal play.
Tips
If you are considering putting something in your anus or someone else’s, make sure you use common sense. For best results, make sure the tools and toys you use for anal sex are
• Smooth: Never put any sharp object or anything with rough or jagged edges in the rectum. Never put anything glass or breakable in the anus. Even objects made for anal penetration must be smooth; you can file rough edges on dildos or plugs with a regular nail file, and for added smoothness, use a condom.