• You should feel no discomfort during an enema; if you experience pain or cramping, go sit on the toilet right away.
• If you’re having an enema in preparation for anal sex, you should do it at least two to three hours prior to having sex to give your body a chance to reabsorb water and recover.
• Storebought enemas like the Fleet Ready-to-Use Enema™ contain laxatives and harsh chemicals that can irritate your rectum; plain filtered water without additives is a better idea. Never use a vaginal douche in your rectum.
• Do not use a turkey baster to give yourself or your partner an enema. Turkey basters are too long and are made of plastic that is inflexible and may have rough seams.
• Depending on the state of your water supply, you may want to use heated bottled water (100°F).
• I’ve heard about vodka enemas, coffee enemas, and other exotic enemas, but these are really not good for you. Any liquid you put in your rectum gets absorbed so quickly that it’s like shooting it in your veins. It will ultimately irritate your rectum, and it could make you very, very sick.
• Allow yourself plenty of time and several bowel movements before you’re cleaned out.
• Do not share enema equipment.
• Clean and disinfect your enema equipment carefully (diluted liquid bleach is a good disinfectant).
• Carefully read and follow all instructions that accompany enema kits or equipment.
• It’s not a good idea to have enemas too frequently. They tend to stress out your rectum, and too much of this evacuation can throw your rectum, bowels, and gastrointestinal tract off balance. According to sex educator Robert Morgan, frequent use of enemas can wash away mucosa from your rectum and cause colitis/proctitis.
• If, after an enema, you don’t have a bowel movement or expel any liquid, you could be dehydrated or have a serious condition. See a doctor immediately.[37]
The Barber and the Back Door: Shaving the Anal Area
Although it is not widely discussed, many people find that shaving their own or their partner’s anal area can be very erotic. Guidelines for shaving the anal area are very similar to those for shaving a woman’s pubic area or a man’s balls and pubic area. Use a regular disposable razor—leave the wielding of straight razors to the professionals—and plenty of nonirritating shaving cream (I find Aveeno Shaving GeI™ with oatmeal ideal). Find a clean, well-lit place to work, go slowly, and be careful. If you’re shaving your own anus, use a hand-held mirror so you can see exactly what you’re doing.
It’s probably a good idea not to shave the anal area right before you’re planning to have sex; since you’ll have a greater chance of having nicks or cuts, be extra careful and definitely practice safer sex. One more thing: when the hair grows back, it will itch, so use a soothing lotion.
6 • DOING IT FOR YOURSELF
Masturbation and Anal Eroticism
I remember being about eight or nine and while masturbating inserting the handle of a paintbrush (the closest phallic object at hand) in my ass… I had just read somewhere that this was pleasurable and was curious. It was.
The best introduction to anal eroticism starts with your own behind. In the 1970s, consciousness-raising groups spawned by the women’s movement encouraged women to explore their vaginas and do gynecological self-examination with a speculum to gain a better understanding of their bodies; the more knowledge women have about our own bodies, the more in touch we can be with our gynecological health as well as our sexual pleasure. But many of us are not familiar with how our own anuses look and feel; we are taught to think of them as private, dirty, and absolutely not a source of pleasure.
Since most of us struggle with periods of self-hatred, bad body images, shame and confusion over sex and pleasure, I recommend having a hot love affair with yourself. Sexual healing begins by learning how to turn yourself on, discovering your sexual fantasies, and giving yourself an abundance of selflove and orgasms.
Unlike men, who only have to glance down to see one important source of their libido, women have to find a well-lit room, a comfortable position, and a mirror just to see our own vaginas and clitorises. The same is true for our anuses. Looking at your anus, touching it, stroking it, feeling how it responds to even the lightest touch can give you a world of information about anal eroticism. While you’re exploring your anal area, you will want to use the preparations outlined in chapter 2: Relax and be patient with yourself. Go slowly in the beginning and don’t try to do too much all at once. Make sure you have a big bottle of lubricant nearby in addition to latex gloves and anal toys, if you wish. Do what feels good, and stop if and when it stops feeling good. Also remember that anal stimulation may be something you want to reserve for your “sex for one” occasions, which is fine; there will be plenty of time to bring anal eroticism to sex with a partner if and when you’d like to do that.
My first experience was as a twelve-year-old. / recall taking a shower and cleaning my genitals and ass. I noticed that the soap running along my anus felt really good, so I slid a finger inside myself and began moving it in and out. Eventually, I got enough manual dexterity to rub my clit with a bar of soap and fuck my anus simultaneously.
In addition to being fun, exciting, and arousing, exploring anal eroticism during masturbation is also the best way to prepare for anal sex with a partner. If you want to have your anus penetrated by your partner, exploring it by yourself will help you figure out what you enjoy andwhat you don’t. Experiencing anal pleasure by yourself can also help to reassure you that it can be pleasurable with a partner; you’ll know what it feels like when it feels good. Your own exploration can also serve to get your anus used to stimulation and penetration. If the first finger that slips in your anus is your own, then someone else’s won’t seem so scary and may even feel better than you had imagined!
Be sweet to your little “rosebud”.
If you want to penetrate someone else’s anus, exploring your own anal area by yourself will give you insight into what’s going on down there, including the ins and outs of the anus, anal canal, and rectum: the sensitive tissue, the all-important curves of the rectum, and the various sensations of anal stimulation and penetration. Self-pleasuring your anus will give you a good sense of what your partner might feel as you give him or her pleasure. 1 believe the best way to become skilled at doing something to someone else is to practice it on yourself first.
Remember, because of the contractions the anal sphincters can make during arousal and climax, the anus can actually “suck” objects into it. There won’t be anyone else in the room to prevent a toy from going too far inside your rectum. It is crucial that anything you put in your anus besides your finger have a flared base.
When you’re ready to explore anal eroticism during masturbation, you might want to begin by taking a warm, leisurely bath or shower. The bath or shower will help you relax as well as give you an opportunity to get your anus nice and clean and ready for fun. Also make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed neatly. Begin by masturbating as you usually do; start by doing what you know first, which for most of us will mean stimulating the vagina and clitoris. Bring out that favorite vibrator or dildo, turn on a hot porn video or a steamy movie—do whatever will get you aroused. Don’t jump right into exploring your anus; instead, simply masturbate and get your entire body aroused.
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1. For more information on enemas, I recommend you read Bert Herrman,
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Betty Dodson,