While it is a proven fact that vegetable shortening and oil-based lubricants break down latex condoms, latex gloves tend to be much thicker than condoms and therefore can be used for fisting. Many sex educators recommend that you change into a fresh pair of gloves every fifteen to twenty minutes to ensure safety by preventing tiny holes from forming in the latex.
Latex gloves are sold in many drug stores, in bags of small quantities or boxes of fifty or one hundred. Some gloves are certified sterile, others aren’t; however, the place you’ll be putting your hand won’t be sterile (not even with the most fastidious enema), so the gloves do not necessarily need to be sterile. Some gloves are powdered on the inside to make it easier to put them on. You should rinse gloves out because the powder may irritate your partner’s delicate, sensitive anal tissue. Herrman has another tip for the glove wearer:
We also suggest that tops (especially those who are HIV negative) should rub nonoxynol-9…on their hand before inserting into the glove, in the event of leakage. While [nonoxynol-91 effectively kills the HIV virus, tests have shown that [it is] also very irritating to the kind of cells that line the rectum and vagina. This means that nonoxynol-9 may allow the virus to more effectively penetrate faster. So limit this stuff to inside the glove.[49]
Some people wear two gloves or purchase heavier rubber gloves commonly used for household work; these gloves also tend to be longer (more like “opera length”), which can be a plus for people who want to venture beyond the wrist. Keep in mind that heavier gloves tend to decrease the inserter’s sensitivity and sense of how lubricated the glove is.
Recently, many people who regularly use latex gloves—especially those in health care professions—have become either allergic to latex or latex-sensitive. If you are sensitive to latex, you might not want to try Herrman’s technique of putting nonoxynol-9 inside the glove; you may also want to try well-fitting vinyl gloves. You might try coating your hand with liquid silicone (found in medical supply or auto supply stores) before putting on a latex glove.[50]
Anal Fisting: The How-To’s
People who enjoy being penetrated by larger plugs and dildos and like the feeling of fullness and pressure may also delight in being fisted. Fisting takes a large amount of everything that anal sex requires: latex, lube, desire, patience, relaxation, communication, and trust. Fisting takes a great deal of time and skill; you should proceed to fisting only after you have become comfortable with extensive anal penetration.
In order to prepare yourself to be fisted, it’s a good idea to do some Kegel exercises for several weeks beforehand. Get used to contracting and relaxing your anal sphincter muscles. Relax.
Deep breathing during foreplay and fisting is a great way to relax, get focused, and get in touch with your body.
I cannot stress enough that a proper diet with enough fiber is a key component to enjoying anal pleasure. Diet is very important for a person who’s going to be fisted.
Most people who practice anal fisting recommend an enema for the receptive partner because of the depth of penetration. Chapter 5 covers different types of enemas and how to give them. Remember to have an enema at least two hours before the sexual encounter, avoid using harsh chemical enemas, and don’t have enemas too often. An enema clears out not only the “bad” bacteria, but also the “good” bacteria that normally live in and help our digestive systems; you can take acidophilus (available at most health food stores) to bring your system back in balance. Bert Herrman recommends that you eat easy-to-digest food for nineteen to thirty-six hours before your enema, and very little eighteen hours before fisting. Avoid foods containing small seeds (like strawberries).
Some advice before you make a hellish trip to the laundromat: There is going to be some mess, so you should have lots of paper towels on hand. You should also know that oil-based lubricants and anal secretions are not exactly the easiest laundry job. Many fans of fisting recommend using “chucks,” plastic sheets used as under-pads in hospitals. They are made to absorb, and they are disposable. You can find them at hospital supply stores.
SHE PUSHED, A RIPPLE DESCENDED FROM BEHIND HER breast bone, amplified, became a wave of desperate hard contractions. Kay had a grim, fixed smile on her face. She hung on to Roxanne’s thigh with one hand and kept the other one wedged firmly in her asshole. Her rectum opened, closed, opened wider, and Kay slid in.
Her querulous asshole flattened out and disappeared. It felt as if her body had swallowed the advancing hand, sucked it in instead of struggling to repel it. Now it was folded up neatly inside her, a miracle, no pain at all, just the gift, the blessing of someone entering and pleasuring this forbidden part of her body. Kay had made this new channel, made it part of her just by touching it. Her lungs hurt. Had she been shouting?
After the enema, an erotic fisting session should begin like any erotic encounter involving anal penetration. Relax. Do whatever you need to—baths, candles, music, meditation, visualization, deep breathing, massage—to relax each other. Take your time. Focus on your desire for each other, on communicating, and on trusting each other.
You should also experiment with positions. You want to find one that is comfortable for both of you and that allows the easiest entry and depth of penetration. Some people like to be on their backs with their legs on their partner’s shoulders. Some like to be in the doggie-style position on hands and knees, affording a good angle of entry.
Others like to be in a sling—a specially designed seat made of leather, canvas, or plastic webbing (like a hammock for one). A sling is usually suspended from the ceiling or a hook high on the wall. You can lie in it comfortably with your head above your waist, and your partner can have good, flexible access to your ass. Slings can be an expensive item at specialty sex and leather stores and are usually purchased by advanced players.
Just as outlined in the techniques for anal penetration, you should work your way up from external stimulation to actual penetration, with all the necessary steps in between. Remember that the initial opening-up process takes time for the receiver. You may want to start with fingers, graduate to a small butt plug, maybe a dildo, then go back to fingers. Or you can use only your hand the entire time. Rather than pushing your way in, let your partner suck your hand inside and guide you to each new level. Work your fingers inside, adding more lubricant as you go, until you have worked up to four fingers.
A good way to begin the handballing process is to put your fingers together to create a point with your hand, and gently slide inside. Stop as soon as you feel resistance and stay there, letting the muscles get used to the feeling. Each person likes a different method for entry. Some people like to move with a slow, constant pressure. Others use a twisting motion to work their way inside. Some let the receiver draw the hand inside or go slowly in and out as you would with a penis or dildo. Some keep their fingers together in the point until they feel like they can spread their fingers slightly. You can also cup your hand with your fingers curled into your palm. The trickiest part of hand-balling is the first move into the rectum. Make sure that you are well lubed, because this will be a crucial step.
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Pat Califia, “