Whenever I feel horny and want to get off, all I have to do is close my eyes and think back to that day. I can still feel her mouth around my cock and the way she never neglected my balls. It was amazing.
Her head was bobbing up and down, one of her hands was in my mouth, and the other one was massaging my balls! I mean, I was in ecstasy!
Some people spend years using a single blow job technique on their lovers—and there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as everyone’s ecstatically happy with the results. But not every sexual encounter is the same in tone or duration, and not all men respond overwhelmingly to cookie-cutter oral sex formulas. It’s a good idea to mix it up, and make the blow job match the man and the mood. There are many different strokes and ways to combine them with one another and with the techniques you’ve already learned. Using more than one, and going slowly through a catalog of moves, lends length and body to your session, while giving your lover an outstanding oral sex experience.
The crux of your oral technique is the way you use your hand (or hands) in accompaniment with your mouth. The key to doing this is to use a hand in tandem with your mouth on his shaft, as an extension of your mouth. Wrap one hand around his cock, with your index finger and thumb meeting at the top, and keep these fingers against your lips. Moving up and down with your hand locked to your lips, you make an intensely pleasurable, tight tube for him to slide in and out of. Most men like a firm grip, but not too firm; test your grip on two of your fingers to see how it feels before you get started. If you’re not sure, you can always have him put his hand on yours and show you.
He would take the tip of his tongue, run it along the length of it for a while, very sensually, always varying the pace but never feeling out of rhythm. He also did the one thing I enjoy the most when a man gives me head. He grabbed the base with one hand, grabbed the middle with the other, and then sucked the head while stroking the rest of it with both hands…
Using your hands along with your mouth is an important technique, and it has several beneficial side effects. Besides making your mouth into a pleasurable space that he can slide entirely into, your hands can also enhance his pleasure by moving in different ways or adjusting constriction at any point in your up-and-down motions. And it can provide a way for you to minimize how deep he goes into your mouth, so if you’re concerned about gagging or hip thrusts, you can use your hand as a buffer. If your jaw, neck, or anything else gets sore or tired, you can rest your mouth and keep the stroking and rhythm continuous, not breaking contact. In fact, you can give yourself a stealthy rest by moving back and stroking him while looking at him seductively, and he’ll be none the wiser. Your hand-and-mouth motion comes into play when you “deep throat” him; read about how to do this in chapter 9, “Deep Throat.”
Survey your choices when it comes to strokes and the combinations you can create with other sensations. Pick some and try them in combination to see what he likes; you’ll notice that a particular way you are going down on him will turn him on more. Then begin to focus your energy on the type of stroke he responds to pleasurably, and establish a rhythm. Always keep your upper lip curled protectively over your teeth—a nip at the wrong moment is unsettling. When he starts to respond to a particular technique, you’ll begin your rhythm. Establishing a rhythm is your goal, but be sure to stay with each technique you use long enough for him to get used to it. Don’t rush through changing techniques, or change what you do with each stroke—this is frustrating for the recipient, who is trying to focus on arousal and orgasm. The following strokes are your road to rhythm:
• To do the master stroke, the basis for fellatio, keep your hand against your lips, and bob up and down.
• Try long strokes, short, slow strokes, or a rapid in-and-out motion.
• Adjust the pressure in your hand by making it snug for entire strokes, or constrict your grip when you go down to the base of the shaft, or at the head.
• Vary your suction. Increase it for a few strokes, then release. Try using more suction on either up or down strokes.
• Play around with the different ways you can create suction. Try pulling with your lips, by creating a vacuum with your tongue, or pulling by constricting your throat. Each way will feel different to him.
• Try using no suction at all, with either a tight or a loose hand.
• Hold your mouth still and pump with your hand.
• Pull the foreskin down tightly while only your mouth goes up and down.
• Twist your head as you go up and down. Try it for the length of a whole stroke, or only when you reach the tip. Twist on up or down strokes, or both.
• Twist only your hand, with the same variations.
It stands to reason that once he’s very aroused and close to orgasm, he probably won’t know exactly what you’re doing; he’ll just know if it feels good or not. It’s up to you to remember what worked and what didn’t.
• Hold still for a moment and squeeze only your mouth and throat in rhythm.
• Experiment with keeping your tongue in constant motion.
• Allow him to make the motion by thrusting his penis in your mouth while you hold still—this is called irrumation.
On Gagging
Touch the back of your tongue with a toothbrush, and you’ll feel that dreadfully familiar involuntary reflex shared by all—you’ll gag. The entire back of the mouth and soft palate are wired with nerves that are auto-programmed to trigger muscular convulsions in your throat when touched, constricting the opening of the throat and sending signals to your stomach to begin a queasy lurch. This is how the body protects itself from choking on oversized objects. We are not serpentine; we cannot unhinge our jaws. Put something bigger than your mouth into your mouth, and you will gag.
Everyone gags at some point during a blow job. It may take several blow jobs or several years of giving them to gain control over your reflex, and even seasoned pros at fellatio gag sometimes. At first it’s unsettling and challenging. Your eyes will water, and your nose may run—some partners find this sexy. But with time, practice, and comfort with oral sex, you can learn to overcome your body’s natural instinct to push back at whatever’s pushing in. No one ever overcomes it completely, but there are techniques that help, and staying cool-headed is important.
I try to deep throat, but my stomach always churns. What I do is take him really deep for one stoke, then not deep for a few, then deep again for one stroke. Guys really love this, and they don’t seem to notice that it’s for only one stroke that they’re really deep.
Learn to make incorporate your anti-gagging techniques into your act. The Flying Wallendas were the greatest tightrope walkers in the history of circus performance. They believed that when learning tightrope, one should avoid the aid of tethers or nets, so as not to get too dependent upon them. The thinking was that if you came to rely on these aids, you would take their existence for granted and someday forget that they weren’t there, and fall. This encouraged them to practice falling, to the extent that they made falling into an art form. When they fell during performances, they would slip and cling to the rope with such style and grace that everyone believed it was all part of the act. You can do the same with gagging, a potentially unsexy response to an intimate sex act: when you feel yourself beginning to gag, make pulling him out of your mouth and taking a rest until the feeling subsides part of your act. Learn techniques for overcoming your gag reflex in chapter 9, “Deep Throat.”