Rhythm: The Essence of a Blow Job
As you sense his excitement building, narrow your focus onto one or a combination of two specific stroke techniques he likes. Using these, establish a beat—a consistent and predictable rhythm with the strokes. When using one stroke, go at a steady pace and try gradual increases and decreases of your tempo. With two stroke combinations, use one for five or six beats (strokes), then switch to the other stroke for the same amount of time and back again. For instance, you can bob up and down the length of his shaft using your hand pressed to your lips and a little suction, then switch to holding the head in your mouth while you stroke with your hand, then switch back.
Men differ in their rhythm preferences, and you’ll find that he may require an increase, decrease, or no change at all in order to achieve orgasm. You can find out by asking if he wants it faster or slower, but don’t interrupt the activity too much or you’ll risk decreasing the heightened state you’ve got him in—keep stroking him with your hand if you pause to ask. You might ask him to masturbate for you; watching what he does right before he orgasms is extremely instructional. But these options aren’t always available, and sometimes you’ll just have to pay very close attention to his response. When you make a change and see his pre-orgasmic tension increase or decrease, you’ll know. Some men will love a steady, firm, driving rhythm, then want a few quick strokes to make them come. Others won’t require any change at all and will orgasm in one fluid movement during one of your strokes. Your rhythm (and how it’s used) is what’s going to make him come, so tune in to his body language (that is, if he’s not disturbing the neighbors with his cries and moans of pleasure), and watch for the signs of imminent orgasm.
Bump and Grind: Pre-Orgasmic Body Language
Wanting to be the gentleman, I announced well before the fact that I was getting ready to cream. Much to my surprise and joy, she did not stop sucking…
An oncoming orgasm in a man can take many forms. He might be the vocal type, telling you he’s about to come, or his moans and yummy noises could reach an audible crescendo. There are physiological signs, too. His muscles may tense in different parts of his body, such as thighs, jaw, abdomen, hands, and feet. In most men, the testicles retract, hugging the body, and the penis stiffens to its fullest point before the rhythmic contractions of orgasm begin. His hips might begin to thrust, or he might grind his pelvis in your face—sometimes quickly, in rough jerks, but sometimes the movement is subtle and barely perceptible. He could slowly seem to be getting closer and closer to your face, maybe even pushing you down a little bit—or a lot!
I love to swallow. When a guy comes in my mouth, I know he’s lost control and it’s so hot, I just want to drink every drop.
This is the time when a number of things can happen. He is about to ejaculate, and it’s up to you where you want it to go—not only should it go where you want it, but he should come where and in whatever way turns you on. You could wait until the initial pulses and spasms begin, then pull back slightly as he comes on your tongue or lips. Or you might relish the taste and feel of him coming deep in your mouth or throat, swallowing it as he orgasms. Many people find it hot to have him come on their face, breasts, stomach, or hands, or into their open mouth, and even enjoy the association with porn’s “money shots,” finding that it adds to the heat of the encounter. If you hold your mouth still and close your throat, you can hold his come in your mouth and swallow it when the moment passes—or not. Pulling your head back and bringing him to orgasm with you hand is another option. Jack him off onto or into any area you want, and enjoy the show.
He can come on me anywhere—yum! I don’t care. My tits, face, in my mouth, stomach… as long as he’s coming on or in me I don’t care.
Many people enjoy it when their lover comes in their mouth, but not everyone does, and those who do like it don’t always want to do it every time. When you’re with a lover you’re familiar with, you may recognize his body’s signals that an orgasm is imminent, or you may have an agreed-upon signal. If you know you don’t want him coming in your mouth and you’ve agreed on a signal, this is the time you’ll get that signal. Then you can move him out of your mouth so he comes elsewhere. Not infrequently at this stage, men put their hands on your head, sometimes involuntarily. For many men, touching your head is affectionate; it feels good to connect with you and be fully present in the activity. Their intention may be to guide your head faster, slower, or deeper. But sometimes it feels inappropriate. If you don’t like this or it makes you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to stop the session; simply move his hands to your shoulders or onto his own body. If you like the guidance or relish having him take control, then this is the right time to let go, and having his hands on your head provides the perfect way to do it.
I used to get freaked out thinking about the possibility of him putting his hands on the back of my head. But now when my boyfriend does it, it’s like he just wants the contact with me, and he strokes my hair and face. It’s sweet and turns me on!
When he’s bucking or grinding and you know that an orgasm is right around the corner, do what you can to hang on and keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. Don’t stop! Hang on to his hips or buttocks if you’re worried about getting bucked off, or conversely, you can control his thrusts if he’s going overboard. Gripping him like this can really increase his pleasure, and some guys go crazy being held onto this way. He might also like to have his thighs immobilized before orgasm: simply hold them firmly still. Also try putting his legs together. If thrusting is unwanted, have him lie on his back for fellatio, and with your hand on his shaft you can position your forearms on his hips, using your body weight to keep his hips down. If after all the bucking and grinding is over you feel like a cowpoke with whiplash, you may want to talk about it later.
Orgasm
When he orgasms, the delightful contractions begin, and you’ll feel the muscles in his cock spasm as ejaculate is released. A man can have many types of orgasms; some men can orgasm without ejaculation, when soft, or without any muscular contractions in their penises. Men with disabilities such as spinal cord injuries may experience “phantom orgasms” elsewhere in the body. Orgasms vary in length, on average anywhere from five seconds to three minutes. Some orgasms are sweat-drenched, roof-raising events; others pass with barely a sigh of released breath and a lovely glow to his cheeks—and there’s everything in between.
For people who use condoms with oral sex, spitting or swallowing isn’t an issue, but everyone else needs to take a minute before the act even begins to decide what they want to do. Communication is crucial no matter what you decide. If it’s okay, let him know so that he can completely relax when orgasm is close—some men are acutely aware that not everyone wants to swallow and can get anxious prior to orgasm if you haven’t talked about it. If it’s not okay, or if you’re just not sure, tell him. Most men will be glad you brought it up (and if they’re not, kick them right out of bed). If you don’t tell him and you try to hide an unpleasant reaction when he orgasms, you run the risk of hurting his feelings. Instead, tell him that you’re not sure you want him to come in your mouth, and ask him to give you a tap on the shoulder or tell you when he is about to come.