A cock ring is a ring worn around the penis and testicles to apply a steady pressure around the base, slightly restricting the blood flow to the penis. Not for all (but enjoyed by many), cock rings provide a continuous squeeze to his penis and testicles that can make any stimulation feel more pleasurable. The universally recognized cock ring style is a single leather band with snaps. It goes over the top of the penis’s base and continues around and behind the testicles. Cock rings do not help with erectile difficulties, but many men say they help their erections last longer—however, this is different for everyone. But cock rings do have a nice way of pushing everything out and up…making a nice visual when you’re up close and personal.
There are different types and styles of cock rings. They come in leather, fabric, neoprene, and various plastics and rubbers, and not all have snaps. Some snap, others fasten with Velcro, tie, or have sliding closures, and some are just rubber rings that stretch wide and slip on. A whole selection of complicated and torturous cock rings is available, and if your guy likes extra pressure or feelings of intense constriction when he’s sliding in and out of your mouth, you can find cock rings with multiple straps, ball stretchers, ball dividers, or D-ring attachments for weights, ties, or leashes. Start with a single, simple ring, and see if he likes it.
Unless you’re experienced with cock rings, never use rings that are metal or aren’t stretchy enough to remove easily. These rings can come off only when he ejaculates or his erection subsides, which means icing him down if he panics or experiences pain or discomfort. Needless to say, if he experiences pain or discomfort when using a cock ring, remove the ring immediately.
Cock rings are easiest to apply and remove on men who trim or shave their pubic hair, but that’s not required. Just keep an eye on hair that can get snagged when removing a stretchy rubber ring.
Do men really like vibrators? You bet. Some men like them a lot, and for these guys you can pick up a vibe and add it to your oral feast. Choosing what to use depends on what you have in mind. There are vibrators on the market for just about every scenario you can imagine, though you can always use any type of vibe in a pinch.
Men who like vibration have preferences as to how intense, where, and when in their pleasure cycle they like it. When you’re not sure, ask him or have him show you. Generally speaking, vibration right on the head of his penis might feel too intense—popular spots where men like vibration are underneath the head, along the underside of the shaft (possibly at the base), and on their testicles, perineum, or anus. Access is easiest when he is lying on his back. You can easily hold his penis in your mouth and vibrate the underside of the shaft, run the vibe over his balls, or push farther south if he’s game. For more on anal penetration, see the section later in this chapter.
Vibrators come in a kaleidoscopic assortment. You can buy them in penis shapes, whale shapes, smooth curves, or bumpy rides. You can find small ones that can be worn on the tip of your finger—perfect for fellatio, but don’t insert them anywhere. Some are flared at the base for anal penetration and can be worn in strap-on harnesses. Vibrators also come with variations on speed and motion; some are made for penetration, while others are not. Vibrators are generally made of hard plastic or rubber blends: jelly rubber, clear or opaque, and quite porous; Cyberskin, lifelike, and extremely porous; vinyl, in flat colors, and not porous; and silicone, in many opaque colors, completely nonporous, and sterilizable. Porous models hold bacteria (which they pick up a lot of when used for penetration), so it’s best to use these with condoms or toss them after a few uses—which is why they’re inexpensive, and silicone fetches high prices. Hard plastic is nonporous.
Some vibrators vibrate, some pulse; they can have many speeds, dials, or just one or two speeds. When in doubt, buy a vibe with variable speeds, since a one-speed model may not necessarily be at the right speed for you or your partner; you can adjust the vibration intensity on these as you go. There are also insertable and noninsertable vibrators: all insertables are on a shaft of some kind, with no openings that would allow moisture to enter. No, you won’t get shocked, but moisture would ruin your toy. Noninsertable vibrators, such as “egg” vibrators and Silver Bullets, are smaller and have cords attached. Never insert these and think you can tug on the cord to get them out—all battery-operated vibes are cheaply made, and you will just yank the cord out, leaving the vibe in. Electric vibrators are more reliable but also more expensive, and they almost always have only two speeds. Vibrators that can be worn on fingers are fantastic for fellatio—you just let your fingers do the walking while you lick—but don’t insert these, either. Waterproof vibes are a good option, because they can take all the juices you can throw at them and they clean up easily in the sink, with no worry about getting water in the wrong areas.
Dildos are sex toys used for penetration that do not vibrate. They’re usually phallic-shaped, though you can find them in rocket shapes, whale shapes, and goddess images, or fashioned to represent objects d’art. They come in all shapes and sizes, a mind-boggling palate of colors, and a huge variety of materials. Made of everything from silicone to Cyberskin and Lucite to polished wood, dildos run the gamut of style and form. Most dildos that you find in women-run and boutique sex toy shops have a base, meaning a flat, circular end that allows you to stand them up, erect and proud. The base isn’t just for display; it’s usually there to make the dildo harness-compatible for those who want to engage in strap-on sex. Not all dildos have bases; some have a set of wrinkly balls to add a (perhaps ironic) touch of realism. A dildo can be used manually during fellatio—using it to penetrate him while you give him head—he can use it on himself, or one of you can wear the dildo in a harness while the other fellates. Read more about going down on a strap-on in chapter 8, “Any Way You Want It.”
Harnesses can be worn by lovers of any gender for fun with strap-on fellatio. When selecting a harness, consider the look, fit, and functionality of the harness you’d like to wear. Most harnesses come in black, but you can find them in specialty shops in pink, blue, red, and white leather, glittery neoprene, or colored rubber. You’ll find them in soft, buttery leathers, cool rubber, wetsuit material (neoprene), fabric, and Spandex. Skip the prepackaged dildo and harness kits and spend the extra dollars on separate items from women-run shops; the prepackaged sets are cheaply made, and their quality is unpredictable. Next, consider how you want to wear your dildo. Ask yourself if you want access to your genitals. Harnesses come in two main styles: two-strap (with the straps lying in the crease between your genitals and thighs) or single-strap (like a G-string panty). However, you can also find harnesses that fit in other styles, like bicycle shorts. Last, make sure that your harness will fit your dildo. The center ring may not be the same size as the dildo you select, and this could make a carefully planned evening a disappointment.
Anal Penetration
Most guys I’ve been with go nuts when I grab their butt cheeks in both hands when they’re in my mouth. This way you can also see how he might like having his butt hole touched.
Touching his asshole when I go down on him is like pressing a magic button to make him come.
For me, finding out that my male lover likes anal penetration is like eating ice cream when you haven’t had it in a really long time. Penetration is one of those very amazing things that connects you with your lover like nothing else, and it can be an incredible turn-on for both of you. With your finger or fingers, a dildo, or a vibrator, you enter into a realm of pleasure that is as deep for him as it is intimate for both of you. And in some men it’s like hitting a pleasure switch—even the lightest touch on the outside of the anus sweeps some men straight to orgasm.