Flavored lubricants are an option for people who want to try rimming but shudder at the notion of tasting their lover’s natural flavors, though they come with several caveats. Flavored lubes taste awful, even the lime, kiwi, or piña colada versions. Because they’re packed with sugar, they are not an option for diabetics or other people who don’t tolerate the effects of sugar well. But they do their job to some extent, transforming the eager anus into an artificial-raspberry-smelling orifice. Just be sure to never, ever purchase lubes that advertise “anal ease.” Most lubes sold specifically for anal use contain large amounts of numbing agents, such as benzocane, which diminish sensation and will leave you with a numb tongue. They’re manufactured by an industry that believes anal penetration of any kind is painful—when in reality, anal penetration isn’t painful if you do it right. If it hurts, then something’s wrong, and you don’t want to mask important signals the body might be trying to send. Besides, who wants a numb butt?
Though rimming is certainly enjoyable, it isn’t a very safe activity. Unprotected, it can transmit hepatitis A, anal herpes, anal warts, and possibly viruses such as HIV. Always use a barrier for rimming—but if you insist on barrier-free rimming, get a hepatitis A shot. If one of you has a viral STD, such as herpes, HPV, hepatitis C, or HIV, safer-sex practices are necessary—required—to prevent transmission, especially if you have a cut or bite in your mouth. Risk is greatly increased for both partners if you have recently brushed or flossed your teeth; both activities cause tiny cuts and bleeding in your mouth. For information on barriers for rimming and details on safer-sex practices , see chapter 4, “Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations.”
His Erotic Pressure Points
Touching your partner in specific areas while you’re going down on him releases blocked sexual tension, increases his excitement and blood flow to the genital area, and can make orgasm much more powerful than usual. Several centuries ago, Chinese doctors concluded that certain points in the body held muscular tension that could accumulate and block the normal flow of circulation of energy. These acupuncture or acupressure points corresponded physically to medical ailments, and the doctors discovered that releasing tension through pressure on the blocked areas was medically therapeutic. They also discovered a range of erotic techniques.
Pressing acupressure points acts like a concentrated massage, releasing muscular tension and toxins held in the muscle, allowing blood and sensation to flow freely to the area. Increased circulation means increased feeling and responsiveness, which adds new dimensions of pleasure to fellatio.
You can activate pressure points by touching them in various ways—kissing, licking, caressing, sucking, kneading, and massaging—but the most effective way to employ them is to hold the point (or points) firmly with the pads of your fingers. Some points are more sensitive than others; you should avoid pressing directly on the high ridges of bones. Your nails should be short, and you should apply a gradual, slow, and direct pressure. If the skin is pulling, lift up and reapply pressure directly to the point, as if you were pressing straight in. Hold each point for no more than five minutes at a time, and encourage him to breathe deeply as you press. Incorporate them at any stage during oral sex.
Three points are located on the mons at the top edge of the pubic bone, in the center. Pressing them produces a warm, pleasant sensation and focuses energy and awareness on the entire genital system. This is great for helping him concentrate on arousal.
You can apply pressure directly on the perineum to make orgasms more intense. This increases blood flow to the genital area and is beneficial to all reproductive and pleasure organs.
On the inside of the upper thigh, right at the crease where the thigh meets the body in front, are six points that heighten pleasurable sensitivity and awareness. They amplify any genital pleasure you are providing.
These additional points on the base of the spine increase pleasure during oral sex and can be added to your erotic pressure point repertoire.
In general, applying pressure to his perineum or genital area with the flat of your hand or flattened fingertips feels great, because you’re stimulating the entire system. You can also rub the mons while you suck, massage it in a circular motion, press it, or gently pull on it. Using genital massage techniques to begin or end a sexual activity, or to transition to another one, can turn a session of sex into a decadent encounter—use your imagination and these points as your guide.
Cough Drops and Ice Cubes
The sensations of heat and cold are remarkable in oral sex. Imagine a hot, wet mouth enveloping your genitals, licking and squeezing and radiating heat. Or a cool mouth caressing and rubbing you when you’re so hot you’re already at the melting point. That’s the idea—using heat and coolness to prolong and increase arousal, or to turn up temperatures that are already in the triple digits.
You can bring temperature play into fellatio at any point when you want to tease or turn up the volume, though it’s more effective in the earlier stages of sucking, before you get an orgasm-inducing rhythm going. There are two ways to go about it: applying the sensation to him directly, or changing the temperature of your mouth.
• Have a warm or cool washrag prepared in a bowl of warm or iced water at the bedside: pause your licking for a moment and apply the washrag, then continue. Make sure that a hot washrag isn’t too hot, or it will burn—discreetly test it on the thin skin of your wrist first. If you’re using an ice water compress, your tongue will feel hot and delicious on his cool cock.
• Set a bowl of ice cubes next to you, select one, and draw on his nipples, his stomach, and all over the area around his cock and balls.
• In warm water, have a number of items heated and ready: dildos, waterproof vibrators, washcloths. You can also pull a teabag out of a not-too-hot cup of tea and massage his cock or balls with it.
• In sex toy stores you can purchase lubricants that elicit hot or cool sensations and get more intense when you blow on them. These can be fun to play with, but they may not taste very good. Read more about them in chapter 4, “Know the Hard Facts: Health Considerations.”
• From that bowl or cup of ice, put a cube in your mouth to cool down your tongue and lips.
• An iced or hot drink will change the temperature of your mouth perfectly—you’ll know if it’s too hot or cool because it will be uncomfortable for you, too. Pause while licking and take a mouthful of the beverage; swish and swirl it around your mouth for a minute, then swallow. Continue licking until you feel the temperature change, then repeat as necessary.
When you pop a breath mint or a cough drop in your mouth, sometimes it feels like your entire oral cavity has the Arctic wind whistling through it—and that’s not always an unpleasant feeling. Now, imagine that feeling on aroused genitalia, the coolness mixing with the arousing, enveloping wetness of your mouth. The feeling isn’t for everyone—it can get pretty intense and feel too much like heat—but once some guys try it they like it a lot, so it’s worth experimenting with to see if you can add it to your fellatio pleasure kit.