There are certain things in porn that are hard to avoid even if you don’t like them. Facial ejaculation (the man ejaculating on his sex partner’s face) is pretty much a standard. So are boob jobs. I hear a lot of complaints about both of these things, but some people, somewhere, like them. If you want to avoid “facials” in straight porn, look for porn made by women directors such as Veronica Hart and Candida Royalle. Both women make excellent plot-driven movies, and if you want to avoid anal sex, Candida rarely features it in her films. Finding all-natural starlets is a little tricky, but there are more of them now than five years ago. Look for porn made by independent movie companies.
Fellatio in porn is largely performed for the camera’s view, and what the director thinks the viewers want to see—not for either performer’s enjoyment. Typically, the person going down will have their face angled in a way that is not very comfortable or practical for giving head in real life. This is because the camera and lights have to get close to the action, and if it’s a woman with long hair, her head needs to be cocked at an angle that keeps her mane flowing down the opposite side of her head. The techniques the actors use are basic but can be learned from somewhat, if only to see how they use their hand as an extension of their mouth or to stroke him while they back off for a brief rest. Porn is where you’ll see a lot of deep throating and some amazing stamina on the part of both the giver and the receiver of the blow job. Don’t expect to be able to duplicate what the actors can do—they’re pros, and they give head for a living. Also, the scenes are not all shot in one take, and are often edited to make the scenes appear longer, or the activity more varied.
Watching fellatio in straight porn versus gay male porn, you’ll notice a difference in enthusiasm, touch, and comfort with cock. The actors in gay male films know their way around a hard dick, most likely because they own one and understand the sensations they’re delivering intimately. The gay actors usually appear less conscious of what they’re doing and more relaxed; it’s almost as if they didn’t need to think about what they’re doing. And a big overall difference is that the guys touch the other guys more than their female counterparts; the men’s hands touch, squeeze, and roam all over the guys they go down on. But other than these points, there aren’t a lot of differences, and there are certainly women in porn who have the same intuitive connection to and eagerness for the men they give head to onscreen.
Finding individual films can be challenging when there are hundreds of thousands cranked out in a given year. Also, many adult retailers don’t carry every title, not to mention that selection and organization in sex shops can be haphazard. So I’m not going to recommend films; instead, I’m going to give you the names of actors who give drop-dead head and whose enthusiasm for sucking cock will make you weak in the knees. In straight porn, certain women do it right and just can’t get enough: look for Chloe, Jeanna Fine, Linda Lovelace, Missy, Juli Ashton, and Nina Hartley.
How-To Videos
Educational videos can give you great visual references for techniques, though sadly many are dated, or just look dated. Many oral sex instructional videos, new or old, are shot the same ways and have a timeless quality that unfortunately hovers around the 1980s: fireplace and fur rug sets, women wearing pearls and big jewelry, fluffy hair on both genders, talking heads perched on chairs explaining everything—“experts” intended to make you feel comfortable and nonsleazy, though this has the opposite effect on me. Much like with the fellatio guidebook counterparts, it’s pretty slim pickings—for now. At this time, there are no how-to instructional oral sex films that are same-sex oriented; they’re all straight. But many of the films feature real-life couples, and they almost always use natural-bodied actors.
Adult how-to videos are explicit and often contain extra noninstructional sex scenes that make them worth your money. These videos come in two flavors: mainstream adult films made by porn stars or films independently produced by individuals, sex toy companies, or sex organizations. The mainstream films are usually missing some component of accuracy and are packed with porn stars giving eager, though sometimes mechanical, demonstrations. The independents make up for what they lack in budgets and the actors’ on-camera presence by featuring normal folks, usually real-life, clearly loving couples.
In the realm of fellatio, there are a couple tapes that can show you how to do some of the things discussed in this book and can provide sexy inspiration. Nina Hartley’s Making Love to Men is one part information, several parts explicit action—and parts of it are quite arousing to watch. It’s Nina’s most recent and her best tape on the subject. Better Oral Sex Techniques is a Sinclair Institute video, part of their series of how-to tapes, and like all Sinclair tapes, it features actual couples. However, the sex is broken up by more talking heads, and the video presents the information in an annoying numbered sequence. The Complete Guide to Oral Lovemaking has a 1980s feel to it (hair and lingerie, especially) and is full of talking heads. Its information is straightforward, but don’t expect any in-depth descriptions of fellatio, or advanced techniques.
How-to tapes about male sexuality are rare, but there are a few that can enrich and complement a healthy sex life. Joseph Kramer has done some wonderful video work, and you can learn through his spiritual approach how to give a man a great erotic massage in Fire on the Mountain: An Intimate Guide to Male Genital Massage. The tone is quite New Age, but the video presents great techniques and excellent mindful breath practices, and the men who practice the techniques onscreen clearly adore each other. Tapes that delve into male masturbation may be your best bet when looking for visual clues on ways men like to be touched and stimulated. Another from Joseph Kramer, Evolutionary Masturbation: An Intimate Guide to Male Orgasm, combines Tantra, sex toys (like cock rings and vibrators), and twenty masturbation techniques to show how to make men’s masturbatory orgasms more intense. Solo Male Ecstasy: An Intimate Guide to Self-Pleasure is an instructional video on male masturbation that shows five men as they individually masturbate to orgasm, using a variety of techniques. The music is awful, but the men are nice-looking, and they discuss over forty genital massage techniques and ejaculatory control. Nothing advanced here, but it can augment your body of knowledge.
Recommended Reading
There’s more erotica available now than ever, and a lot of it is of very high quality. You can find most anything you’re looking for, if you know where to look, and there is no shortage of fellatio scenes. Erotica written by women provides a female perspective on sex and tends to concentrate on women’s pleasure, which means that when fellatio is included it usually has the female character’s sexual interests in mind. Lesbian erotica doesn’t usually contain fellatio stories, but in some of the more modern, cutting-edge (and S/M) collections you can sometimes find women going down on a strap-on cock. In gay male erotica there’s a lot of top-notch writing, and the stories are chock-full of fellatio scenes that portray the spectrum of scenarios; dirty, sweet, and everything in between. When straight men put pen to paper and write smut that contains fellatio, it tends to be either really good or transparent stroke material that verges on misogyny. Look for higher-quality anthologies and respected editors, authors, and publishers who produce reliably good books.
The Best Women’s Erotica series is a combination heterosexual and lesbian anthology of short stories by and for women that comes out yearly and has an always-changing lineup of the best stories the genre produced in a given year. Herotica is a women-produced, women-focused anthology series that pioneered the for-women field. Both series contain explicit sex scenes, yet both have distinctively different flavors in their selections—thumb through them both and gauge your response. Best American Erotica comes out yearly, and it’s where male and female authors of all orientations write erotica that is also of all orientations. Black Lace is a generally high-quality British imprint that features erotic novels written by women, and they occasionally put out collections of short stories that are worth picking up. Black Lace is heterosexually focused, though sometimes the novels do contain bisexual characters, and the fellatio in them is fantastic.