If you’re using devices that lock with a key, have several spares available. When using multiple padlocks, take the precaution of using locks with identical keys. Spare keys are a lot easier to hide and carry than giant bolt cutters, as well as being far more stylish.
How you wrap up your bondage experience is just as important as how you do the wrapping. Aftercare is what each participant wants and needs to transition from bondage play to everyday life. When you finish a delicious bondage experience, it’s like being in an altered state. Great sex in all forms can be like that. Rushing out of it can be jarring at best, and at worst it can put you in an intensely bad mood for a while. That happens often enough that it’s called a “drop.” Both bottoms and tops need aftercare, so schedule your play time with that in mind. How long it takes and what constitutes aftercare varies from person to person. Here are some examples:
• Sex
• Cuddling
• Talking about the fun you just had
• Being quiet
• Chocolate
• Time together
• Time alone
• Snacks and water
• Putting the tools away
• Ignoring the tools for now
Gather the toys you want for play. This includes the bondage equipment as well as any sex toys, extension cords for vibrators, lube, pillows for propping up the body, slings and sex swings, and any other items you might want. I’d hate for you to be all tied up with the lube just out of reach! Don’t forget to turn off your phones before play, and select your bondage toys according to what feeds your appetites. I’ve listed below several varieties of toys and types of play for you to consider. You can also skip ahead to the First-Time Scenarios I’ve created for you.
TOOLS: DIY FUN AROUND THE HOME
No need to spend a fortune! DIY bondage is one of my favorite hobbies. Look around your home, in hardware stores, or even dollar stores and you’ll be in bondage heaven. Here are just a few ideas:
Long scarves are fantastic as blindfolds, wrist bonds, and ties to bedposts. They even make a great dildo or vibrator harness. They’re easy to wash after play. Bathrobe belts and stockings are great, too. If you want to keep it green, recycle your old sheets by cutting them into bondage strips. Here are some scarf ties that we do in my Wrapped for Pleasure class:
Equipment
Directions
1. Bring the wrists together, separated by about an inch. Drape the scarf across the wrists. The midpoint should be between the wrists, with both ends hanging down.
2. Bring the two ends together below the wrists, and cross them with a twist, bringing the scarf parallel to the wrists. This is not a knot, just a twist.
3. Bring the two ends up, one between the elbows and the other between the hands.
4. Tie the two ends together in a simple overhand knot, just as you would to start your shoelace tie. If the scarf is slippery, you can tie one more overhand knot.
Ingredients
• you and your lover
• 2 long scarves
• your favorite sex toys, lube, safer sex supplies, and whatever else you enjoy in your usual sex life
Action
Bring the scarf out long before the sex fun starts. Use it to tease and suggest all the fun both of you will have later.
The top gently blindfolds the bottom. Make out!
Tie the wrists together above her head, behind her head, or behind her back. It’s up to you and how you like to shag.
Shag! Slow and sweet or rough and wild, it’s up to the two of you.
Give aftercare lovingly.
I invented this harness because I got tired of ill-fitting commercial harnesses. This is a fantastic harness—it’s secure, easy to clean, fits anyone, and travels well. Men can use it to sport a second cock above the one that they grew themselves!
Equipment
1 favorite dildo with flanged base; 2 scarves (suggested length: multiply hip measurement x 1.5. Example: 40” hips x 1.5 = 60” scarves)
Directions
1. Take Scarf A and make a loose overhand knot (which I refer to below as “That Knot”) at its midpoint.
Take Scarf B, place through That Knot, bisecting Scarf B.
Scarf B will now have two hanging ends of equal length.
Insert the dildo into That Knot.
Tighten Scarf A and That Knot firmly around the dildo.
2. Tie Scarf A snug and low around the hips. It’s easiest to tie this in front, with the dildo at the back, and then turn the scarf around. Very important that it be snug.
Place the dildo in the desired position on the body.
3. Take one end of Scarf B, hanging from the dildo, and pass it between the legs and under the butt cheeks, ending near the hip bone. Tie onto Scarf A near the hip bone.
Repeat with the remaining end of Scarf B.
Test the harness all over for security.
Equipment
2 short scarves and 1 long scarf
Directions
1. Take one short scarf and tie a band around one thigh, just above the knee. This should be snug but not tight enough to hamper circulation.
Do the same with the second short scarf on the other thigh.
Tie one end of the long scarf onto the right thigh band.
Have the bottom sit on her butt with her legs out and knees up. Have the bottom hug her knees. This is important for a fabulous shagging position and comfort later.
Lead the free part of the long scarf from the right thigh over the right shoulder and pass under the left arm.
Pass the long scarf under the left thigh band and pull through fully.
Lead the remaining length of the long scarf from the left thigh over the left shoulder and pass under the right arm.
Pass the long scarf end under the right thigh band and tie off with a simple overhand knot.
The long scarf should make an “X” pattern on her back.
2. Have her let go of her knees. Gently lean her back. Her legs will be held up and apart by the scarves.
You can easily move her back and forth and up and down by holding the long scarf where it attaches to the thigh bands.
Add the wrist tie to this and you have a fun and easy sex bondage setup.
Other Items
• Sleep masks: Best stealth blindfold that you can take anywhere.