Predicament bondage is another favorite of those tops and bottoms who love challenges and puzzles. In my class on this topic, I define predicament scenes as bondage that limits or controls mobility by intentionally creating conflicting desires. For example, imagine your lover on all fours with clamps on her nipples connected to the headboard in front of her. At the same time, labia clips (or for a man, a cock ring) tied to the footboard board pulls her gently back. She has to find the spot with just the right balance as you sensually tease her all the while. Don’t be surprised if there’s more than a pinch of masochism involved in it as well.
Some find a deep state of calm and meditative peace in bondage. For these people, it’s a deep and quiet altered state where all the mind’s chatter about mundane life disappears and they take a minivacation. To make this possible, reduce sensory input. Using earplugs, headphones, and blindfolds, you can eliminate all sight and sound. Noise-cancelling headphones are a particularly effective addition to your sensory depravation fun. Hoods, mummy-style wrapping, and bondage body bags (called sleep sacks) will reduce the skin sensations. At all times, make sure that they can breathe without obstruction.
Ingredients
• blindfold
• earplugs
• cling wrap
• emergency medical shears
• old bedsheet or giant beach towel
• ice cubes
• candles—plain paraffin candles are best. You can find these in grocery and general stores in tall glass containers. Don’t use fancy candles made of beeswax or containing other ingredients, as they have a higher melting point and can cause nasty burns.
• match or lighter
• bottom’s favorite sex toy or vibrator
• bottom’s favorite sensual foods
Action
Blindfold the bottom and insert earplugs in her ears.
Spread the bedsheet or towel on the bed.
Take the cling wrap out of the box. That cutting edge is evil!
Light the candle and place it somewhere safe but reachable.
Stand the bottom with her arms hanging down along the side of her torso, then begin wrapping her body from the shoulders down to her knees. (Tip: Don’t start with the feet! If they get unstable it’s easy for her to keel over.)
Sit or lay her down on the bed.
Continue wrapping from the knees down to the feet. If you like, wrap the feet.
Lay her in the middle of the sheet or towel.
Slip the ice cubes between the layers of cling wrap alongside the nipples, genitals, and other fun places.
Drip candle wax on the cling wrap in fun places.
Alternate the ice and wax for fun.
Place the vibrator or sex toy where she’d like it. Use the cling wrap to keep it in place.
Surprise her with her favorite sensual foods while the ice, heat, and vibration is driving her wild.
Tear away the wrap to get to the sexy bits.
Enjoy!
Give aftercare decadently.
Like so many forms of sex, bondage can be enjoyed alone. But no one is there to fix a mistake or rescue you from a mishap, so risks are increased. The solo bondage player needs to be careful to have a way out. In case of any emergency, make sure you can move one hand easily to free yourself, and have your oops tools nearby.
RISKS AND REALITIES
Bondage has its own risks. As I tell my rope bondage students, “Dead bottom, bad bondage. Bad top, no biscuit!” Always heed the advice of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: “Don’t panic.” With common sense and a little planning, most disasters and bad scenes can be avoided. The bottom is responsible for alerting the top of early signs of any possible problems. Bottoms can be reluctant about this. I know some of you worry that as a bottom you should just let the top do their top thing, but trust me, a good top wants to know. Think of it this way: if you can let your top know of a possible issue, they will make the necessary adjustments and the pleasure can last longer for both of you. Not telling them is not nice and considered poor SM etiquette.
WHAT TO AVOID
Boredom is a scene killer. Tops who spend too much time fidgeting with the gear bore many bottoms to death. Bottoms who focus on just their own pleasure bore the motivation right out of most tops.
Hot spots, rope burns, blisters, and chafing really distract from the fun. Prevent rope burns by moisturizing the skin, and exchange your synthetic rope for soft cotton and other natural ropes. For metal, wood, and other toys with sharp edges, wrap tender spots with sports wrap or self-clinging bandages or pad the irritating parts of the toy.
When the restraints are too tight and the bottom’s skin color changes to unnatural shades of red, purple, yellow, white, or blue, or the skin becomes unnaturally cold and clammy, there’s likely a serious problem with circulation. Don’t wait. Immediately loosen the restraint, adjust the bondage, or change position.
It’s the “pins and needles” sensation. There’s no way for the top to know this is happening, as there’s no color or temperature change to the skin. The only way they’ll know is if the bottom reports it. Bottoms—report it! Don’t ignore slight sensations of tingling. It could be an early warning of a serious problem. I almost lost the use of my left hand when I was first exploring bondage because I disregarded a persistent tingling during a lovely long scene.
Allergies (latex, nickel and other metals, natural rope fiber, leather treatments, etc.)
If you know you’re allergic to certain materials, avoid them. If you develop a rash, itchiness, swelling, or trouble breathing every time you play with a certain toy, you’re likely allergic to the material. Some medications can cause allergy-like reactions to certain materials as well. Consult your physician or get tested for allergies. Let your play partner know of any allergies or other conditions.
The ability to breathe is really popular. Everyone loves to do it on a regular, ongoing basis and it’s key to not dying in bondage. Make sure to keep the bottom’s breathing unobstructed. If he’s congested, don’t use a big ball gag or close off his mouth in any way. Don’t use a hood that closes his nose and then insert a gag, push his face into a pillow, or shove a large hard body part down his throat. Don’t wrap the entire head with cling wrap, obstructing both the nose and mouth. Yes, these examples are all from true bondage accidents.
Along with not obstructing the bottom’s ability to breathe, take care not to damage the larynx. Don’t tighten the bondage around the neck in such a way that the front of the neck is crushed. Don’t use a dog collar and pull the leash hard from behind. Don’t use the neck as one end of a predicament hog-tie against the feet. Again, these instances were all reported in real bondage tragedies.