He'd broken every single one of those rules with Natalie, who'd gotten under his skin and filled an emptiness in him he hadn't even known existed until her. And for the first time ever, he wanted a woman in his life permanently, was willing to risk everything to give up his solitary lifestyle and make a forever kind of commitment to Natalie, who was just as much of a lost and lonely soul as he'd been.
But first the truth between them beckoned.
Uncertainties and doubts attacked Noah's empty stomach, invading his system like angry bees, making him all too aware of everything Natalie stood to lose, too. Inhaling a steady breath, he squeezed his eyes shut, dipped his head beneath the hot, harsh spray of water in the shower, and tried to wash away his misgivings about their upcoming conversation.
She'd told him she loved him, and while last night he'd rejoiced in the declaration, now a small, insecure part of him couldn't stop analyzing her revelation. Did she truly love him, or did she only believe she loved him because of her amnesia and their intimate situation?
He was so damned torn and confused, he couldn't think straight. He craved time and distance to clear his head and figure out the best way to tell her the truth-that their relationship was all a fabrication that started out as a way to protect her, and ended up with him so emotionally involved he knew he'd never be the same again. No matter the outcome of their discussion.
Shutting off the shower, he dried off with a towel and quietly got dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, then socks and sneakers. He walked over to the bed where Natalie was still sleeping and took in her disheveled hair and content expression, knowing he was responsible for both. He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss across her cheek, watching as she blinked her eyes open and looked up at him with a frown.
"What are you doing out of bed and dressed?" she asked, her disappointment plain.
"It's nine-thirty, sleepyhead," he said with a smile. "Do you plan on staying in bed all day long?"
"Maybe, if you'll consider joining me." Grinning shamelessly, she stretched her lithe body, uncaring of the covers that fell to her waist and revealed her naked breasts.
It took every ounce of control he possessed to resist her very tempting offer to spend the day in bed with her and forget about the real world. He straightened and thrust his fingers into the front pockets of his jeans to keep from touching her warm, supple skin and luscious curves."How about I go out and get us some pastries and lattes for breakfast?"
"Mmm," she said, the one word a provocative, come-hither purr in her throat. "I could handle that."
"Great." He took a step back, then another, fighting his body's desires with the need to make things right with her before they made love again. "I'll be back in about half an hour," he promised, and then he was gone.
Natalie lay in bed, listening to the sound of Noah's light footsteps heading down the stairs to the foyer. She heard him stop there to set the silent house alarm before leaving to pick up breakfast. A small smile touched her lips at his protective nature, though now that she knew why he was taking extra precautions with her safety, she appreciated his attendveness.
She heard his car back out of the driveway, then an overwhelming silence settled over the house, along with the realization that she didn't like being alone. After a week of constantly being surrounded by people, she felt a bit uneasy being companionless. Which was ridiculous, she knew, since she clearly couldn't spend the rest of her life with a bodyguard attached to her side.
Yet it seemed by Noah's reserved behavior this morning and his restless desire to get out of the house that he needed a reprieve, even if it was a brief one. In a way she understood. Last night had been so emotionally intense, a surrender of hearts and souls in a way that felt like the very first time for her. She'd been thrown by the depth of her feelings for Noah and hadn't been able to hold back the declaration that had felt so perfectly right.
Yet for as much as he'd returned her sentiment, there had been a few times she'd sensed uncertainties within him, as if something deep and personal was going on in his mind that he wasn't ready or willing to divulge just yet. Then again, there was always the possibility that she might be reading too much into her own insecurities.
With a sigh, she got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. After taking care of personal business, she brushed her teeth and changed into her drawstring pants and a loose, comfy T-shirt. Just as she finished combing out the tangles in her hair, the sound of shattering glass downstairs made her jump, and her heart accelerated to a hard, pounding beat.
Startled, and certain Noah had returned and accidentally broken something, she dropped the brush on the vanity and started out of the bedroom and down the stairs.
"Noah?" she called, and came to an abrupt halt when she saw that the glass from one of the windows flanking the front door was scattered on the floor in the entryway. The door was ajar, and the morning breeze wafted indoors. The cool air caused goose bumps to rise on her flesh, contradicting the hot prickle of unease invading her entire body.
Her gaze shot to the security system on the wall. The red light on the alarm panel flashed, indicating the silent alarm had been set off. Noah wasn't home, and someone had obviously broken into the house.
The phone rang, the loud, jangling noise breaking through the silence and Natalie's paralyzed nerves. Praying it was Noah, or even the security company, she leapt over the shattered glass on the floor, ran into the kitchen and grabbed the portable unit. Before she could connect the call a familiar male figure appeared on the other side of the counter and ripped the phone line from the wall, leaving her with a dead unit in her hand.
She screamed in fright and stumbled back a few steps. Terror gripped her as she stared at the man who'd been stalking her-her ex-boyfriend, according to Noah. A man who obviously had no qualms about breaking and entering to get what he wanted. And what he wanted was her.
Oh, God.
An arrogant smile lifted his lips. "Hello, Natalie," he said, though he didn't make any move toward her. The counter between the family room and kitchen still separated them, but his presence emanated an underlying animosity she felt to her bones.
Shaking from the inside out, she curled her fingers tight around the receiver in her hand to keep her grounded. "Ch-Ch-Chad," she stammered, surprised that her vocal chords worked.
He lifted a blond brow, looking immensely pleased at her recollection. "You finally remember me. I was beginning to think that your amnesia, and Noah's influence on you, had permanently erased me from your memory."
His voice was low and tinged with malevolence.
Disjointed memories flashed in her mind, of Chad's face twisted with fury and a temper to match. And then the recollection crystallized. She'd been the victim of that rage before-it was what had caused her to leave Chad and start a new life here in Oakland.
She was stunned by the memory, and terrified by Chad's irrational frame of mind and what he was capable of doing to her. "Get out, now," she ordered adamantly.
"We'll be leaving together this time," he said, too calmly. "Do you know how long I've been waiting to catch you alone? It hasn't been easy with your watchdog by your side at all times."
Refusing to turn her back on him, she took a step back, then another, edging closer to her only means of escape-a framed threshold leading to the formal dining room and the stairs that headed up to the second level of the house. She thought of Noah's revolver in the bedroom upstairs, and knew that it was her best source of defense against this deranged man.
But she had to get to the weapon first.
"You'll always be mine, Natalie," Chad said possessively, drawing her full attention back to him.