Bloonsbury grunts. 'A bit of profile, no clues, no substance. That's all we've got.' He's right, and it doesn't amount to anything. 'Anyone else?'
Most of us stare at the floor. There's nothing else to say. Christmas Day and we're sitting here with those pictures looking down upon is, if the cadaver with no eyes can look. None of us want to be here.
Bloonsbury sighs, heavy breath, you can smell the drink. Even at the back where I'm sitting with Taylor — a silent, preoccupied Taylor, other things on his mind.
'Right, folks, bugger off. Away home and enjoy your Christmas if you can,' and the words sound especially bitter from Bloonsbury's mouth, as we all know he has no home, no family, to which to go. 'We're going to have to start afresh tomorrow. Go over all the family and boyfriends again, see if we can come up with anything. If it was one of them, I want to know about it. If it wasn't…' and the words trail off.
If it's just some guy who chanced upon her and went about his business, then we're in trouble. Another clue might not come our way until the next woman with dark brown hair he chances upon ends up mutilated in a ditch.
18
His thoughts are never linear. Back and forth, back and forth. Mostly he thinks about the first time. The best time. When it was still fresh and pure, before there'd been any arguments, before she'd starting seeing all those others behind his back. He'd been at her house looking at old photographs. They'd been friends, although he already wanted more. Just hadn't been sure how she'd felt about it.
The photographs had been of a holiday she'd taken with friends in Greece. A lot of monuments — which was why she was showing them to him — and then in the middle of ancient Greek architecture there had been one of her and her two friends topless by the swimming pool. She'd been embarrassed, she'd quickly moved on. They'd looked at the photos for another minute or two together, and then she'd put the book away and offered to make another cup of tea.
As she'd stood with her back to him, he had realized. She wasn't embarrassed at all. She hadn't forgotten about the topless photograph. It was her way, her way of letting him know, of gauging his interest. And he had sat there and said nothing.
He stood behind her, silently. She was talking, but he wasn't listening. Then softly he kissed the back of her neck. She shuddered at his touch. Then his hands were upon her.
That was what he liked to remember. That moment. That first touch. Her shudder, her body tensing, and then the moment when she gave into him and relaxed, the moment he ran his hand over her breast and realized how hard her nipples had become.
That moment was so magical, so perfect. Yet it rarely stays that way in his head, the vision quickly sours.
Fucking Jo.
What was she doing sitting topless by a swimming pool in Greece? How many blokes had been there? How many had stared at her breasts? How many had she accommodated in the evening, how many had licked and sucked and bitten those breasts? And how many men had she lured with the innocent photograph collection once she'd come home?
She couldn't even stay sweet in his memories. Everything soured with Jo. Everything. That was why he'd had to kill her, that was why he would have to kill her again, that was why he would have to go on killing her until she was actually dead.
Fucking Jo.
The imitation log fire flames away in the middle of the room; the tree sparkles in the corner, green and red; the lights are low, dark shadows haunting the warm colours; candles flicker, glinting in Peggy's diamond earrings; Nat King Cole sings Mel Torme (we've already had Bob's Christmas album, and weirdly she refused to have it on again); there's a scent of spices, and in the air there's a feeling of Christmas. Large dinner, safely washed away with a bottle of 2008 South African red. We're sitting on the floor, backs against the sofa, staring into the fire. Holding hands. Warning shots are being fired, but they're obscured by the Christmas haze.
Arrived only a little late, and was immediately swamped by ex-wife and children, still glowing from yesterday's feel-good dinner experience. Spent half an hour looking at all the different presents, noticing that there was nothing from the suit from Paisley. Let it pass without comment, however. Masses of food, all good-natured, and a damn sight better atmosphere than we managed most of the Christmases we were still together. I may have detected a concerted family plan to win back the parent formerly known as Dad, but I'm not sure. Never jump to conclusions where women are concerned.
Stevenson must have written that one, somewhere.
And so we come to the crux of the evening. The kids are packed off to their rooms, quite happily for once, to play with their iCraps and all the other modern shite that we didn't have when I was a kid, while Peggy and I sit with our backs to the sofa watching the flames. I think I know where this might be leading, but sometimes these things do not always end there. She squeezes my fingers and I decide it's time to ask the question which has remained unasked these last couple of days.
'Out with it,' is how I broach the subject.
She looks at me and smiles.
'I love it when you talk to me as if I was a suspect.' Kisses me on the cheek. 'What are you talking about?'
'Brian.' The merchant wanker was called Brian.
'Oh.' The smile disappears and she looks vaguely detached. Chews her lip, which I know means she's about to tell me something she would rather have kept to herself. Wonder if she's murdered Brian, and his body rots underneath us in the cellar.
'He left me for some twenty year-old hairdresser.'
I don't quite manage to hold in the laugh, at the tone of voice as much as at the fact of it. She tries to look serious, but starts laughing as well. I always loved that laugh. The first thing that attracted me to her, and led me away from the acidic arms of Jean Fryar.
'What's the story?'
She sighs. 'That tells it all, doesn't it? It would be nice to have always intended to invite you for dinner, but this time last week I still thought it would be me and Brian.'
'He dropped you the week before Christmas?'
She gives me a look. 'Must you say drop? You make me sound like a footballer.'
'Who was she?'
'Don't know, don't care. Can honestly say I've had bigger disappointments in my life.' Another squeeze of the hand. 'It really was a lot nicer having you round, and the kids were a lot happier too.'
Well, of course. The kids would have been happier having their dentist round than Brian.
'Don't know what you saw in him in the first place.'
The answer is on her lips, and I know what it is, but she bites it back. Neither the time nor place. It wasn't as if she immediately married someone else when we split, the way one idiotic half of the partnership did.
'What about you?' she says, neatly changing the course of the discussion. 'Married any constables lately, or are you just slowly working your way through the station in a deliberate passage of sexual frenzy?'
Very funny. The tone is such that I let her away with the marriage jibe. The question has me thinking of Charlotte Miller, however. Decide that I'll refrain from telling Peggy about her, but don't acknowledge to myself the consequences of it. If she had been some casual shag I would have told her, but it was more than that. Or at least that's how I've blown it up in my head.
'Nothing much. Struck out with a twenty year-old constable at the party on Monday night.'
'You like them older these days?'
'Piss off.'
She laughs again, grabs the nearest wine bottle and fills up the glasses. She leans against me; her head rests on my shoulder. I look at her, can see down her blouse to the full sweep of her breasts, safely tucked away in a BHS 36D. Spectacular. Think of Charlotte Miller's breasts, but try and keep my mind on the job.