“Hey,” I said, telling myself I could do this. I could be sympathetic and make him feel better. “It’s going to be okay. She’s not dead, only passed out, and when she wakes she’ll probably feel really…” I searched for a word that would describe what I felt when he bit me.
“Euphoric.”
“It doesn’t matter how she feels,” he said, his voice pained. “I bit her, which is something I’ve spent the last few years trying not to do.”
God, this was all my fault. “Laylen, this isn’t your fault. Please just come back to the house with us—
we’ll figure something out, okay?”
Honestly, I didn’t think my little speech was that persuasive, but apparently he thought it was, which was all that matter. He got to his feet and then all three of us went back and climbed into the SUV. We drove back to the beach house in silence. I made sure to keep an eye on Laylen, fearing he might freak out and try to run away again.
He seemed calm, though, but still not his normal self, which had me worried.
What if Laylen, the only person who’d ever told me the truth—who was always there for me—was gone?
When we arrived back at the beach house, Laylen went straight into his room and said he was going to bed. I was afraid he might leave again, but Alex promised he would watch him. We had woken up Aislin, not intentionally, but nonetheless we had to explain to her what had just happened. Then I sat on the couch, listening to Alex and Aislin argue over what to do with “him.” I didn’t like how they were talking about Laylen, like they feared he might go off the deep end and kill us all. I, in no way, believed this could ever be possible. And when they started talking about leaving him behind—going someplace else without him—I lost it.
It was late, and I was tired. The prickle had been nagging at the back of my neck and I finally shouted,
“Would you two just shut up!” They both looked at me with surprised expressions, which I couldn’t blame them for—I surprised myself. I lowered my voice.
“Look, he’s not going to freak out and kill anyone, okay? So just drop it.”
“Gemma,” Alex said, his tone letting me know I wasn’t going to like what he was about to say. “We can’t know for sure whether he’s dangerous or not.
He’s bitten someone now, everything has changed.”
“When he bit me, you didn’t have a problem with it,” I pointed out.
“Oh, I had a problem with it.” A look passed over his face like he regretted what he just said. “Look, we have too many other problems to worry about. And right now I think we really just need to focus on getting into The Underworld.”
I shook my head. “No. I won’t leave him. You two do whatever you want, but I’m staying.”
He held my gaze, and I could see the cocky attitude rising in him. It was something I hadn’t seen lately.
“You know you can be really stubborn sometimes.” I shrugged. I wasn’t going to even try to argue with that. I knew that I was. “Stubborn or not, I’m still not leaving him.” I held Alex’s gaze with sheer and utter determination, forcing myself to ignore my normal instincts to look away—let him win.
“Fine,” Alex said. “We’ll stay with him, but if anything happens it’s on you.”
I almost laughed, because he said the same thing to Laylen once about me.
“Fine, it’s on me.” I stood to my feet. “Now I’m going to go check on Laylen and make sure he’s okay.” Ignoring the dirty look Alex gave me, I left the room.
Laylen was standing out on the deck. He didn’t even acknowledge me entering; he just stared ahead at the ocean. I went over and stood beside him, placing my hands on top of the decks railing as I looked out at the ocean as well. We stayed like that for awhile, silent and unmoving, watching the oceans waves.
“For the last few years,” he finally spoke. “I’ve felt so empty. After I was turned into a vampire, everyone I knew no longer wanted to be around me. And my parents were gone so…I was basically all alone.” I nodded, knowing how he felt; knowing how it felt to have no one; to be an outcast. To be all alone.
“I think the worse was Aislin.” He rested his elbows on the railing, still not looking at me. “I don’t know if you know this or not, but she and I used to be together.”
“She mentioned it to me once,” I told him.
A gap of silence trickled by and then he looked at me. “You know she just left me—just up and walked away. She never said exactly why, only that her father wouldn’t let her see me anymore. I don’t believe that it was just her father’s doing, though. I think it was her choice too and that hurt even more.”
I swallowed hard, thinking about when Laylen had been dying, and how he told me he could no longer feel the pain of being alone anymore. I thought back to my life and how I had spent every day alone. How when I started to feel emotion, this alone feeling had suddenly risen in me, like a giant gaping hole full of pain. I knew this was the same feeling Laylen was describing. I could feel it right now, not as painful, but still there.
Tears started to sting at my eyes. “It’ll be okay,” I said, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.
“Will it?” he asked, and I could see it in his eyes; the hurt, the sadness, the pain.
I don’t know why I did what I did next. I mean I never did it before, at least that I could remember. But maybe that’s just it. Perhaps I couldn’t remember—at least in the sense of remembering in the form of a memory—but I could feel the memory inside me. I could feel the memory through the prickle on the back of my neck, and it guided me to Laylen, and helped me wrap my arms around him, giving him a hug.
There was no hesitation on his part. He hugged me right back. And we stayed that way, just two people who understood each other; two people who knew what it felt like to have no one. But maybe that was no longer the case.
Maybe we had each other.
Chapter 32
When I woke up the next morning my eyes were a little swol en and red. After I left Laylen’s room, I went straight back to my room and cried. Most of my tears had been for Laylen, but some were for myself.
Strangely though, I did not feel as sad as I did last night. Maybe Laylen’s and my little hug had filled up some of my sadness. And hopefully, it did the same for him too.
I still had a lot to worry about, though. Laylen for starters still had me concerned, along with the fact that I was supposed to be attempting to take myself and Alex to The Underworld this morning. The pressure of actually being able to pull it off was weighing down on me like the hot, humid air. But all I could do about it was hope it would all be okay—that everything would go right.
So, I tried not to think about the fact that Nicholas had said that the Ira needed the power of two Foreseers to function as Alex and I sat in the living room with the Ira balanced on the coffee table.
Aislin was with Laylen, out on one of the decks. She was supposed to be keeping an eye on him while we were gone. But after Laylen’s revelation about Aislin abandoning him when he turned—which, may I add, was her father’s fault—my confidence in her was low.
“Now are you sure you want to do this?” Alex asked me, which was the same thing he asked me a thousand times already.
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m as sure as the last time you asked me.”
He cracked a smile, but it was a nervous smile—he was nervous.
I was nervous. “Do you have the diamond?” He patted the pocket of his jeans. “Yep, it’s right here.”
“Okay, then.” I took a deep breath and reached out for the Ira, my hand shaking with zero confidence, and I froze. “Are you sure youwant to do this?” I asked him. “Because I could go alone.”
According to my vision, though, I already knew what his answer would be.
“I’m sure,” he said, nodding. “Besides, I was there in your vision, remember?”