“Shoo!” Alyosha hissed. “Shoo, you devils! Pshhh! Shoo!”
But the cats paid no attention. Only the cat in the middle looked in his direction, but even then casually, in passing. The cat was ecstatic; she didn’t care about Alyosha.
“Shoo! Shoo! Damn you! Shoo, I wish you’d all go to hell! Barbara, give me that carafe there! I’ll throw water on them! The devils!”
Barbara jumped out of bed and brought him not the carafe but a pitcher from the washstand. Alyosha leaned with his chest over the windowsill and tilted the pitcher out of the window.
“Gendemen! Gendemen!” he heard a voice above his head. “Young people nowadays! How can you do such a thing, huh? Ohhhhhh! The young people nowadays!”
A sigh followed. Alyosha looked up and saw a pair of shoulders in a calico dressing gown with a large flower pattern, and withered, sinewy fingers. From the shoulders protruded a small, gray-haired head with a nightcap, and the fingers were pointing down at him threateningly. The old man sat by the window without taking his eyes from the cats. His eyes were sparkling with longing, as if he were watching a ballet.
Alyoshas mouth fell open. He went white, and smiled.
“Are you resting well, Your Excellency?” he asked weakly.
“This is terrible! You are going against nature, young man! You could say, you are... hm, yes... actually sabotaging the laws of nature! This is terrible! How could you! These are... hm, yes... organisms. How do you say, yes, organisms! One must understand! Contemptible!”
Alyosha stepped back from the window, tiptoed to bed, and lay down meekly. Barbara curled up next to him and held her breath.
“That was our...” Alyosha whispered. “In person... he’s not asleep. He loves cats. Damn! There’s nothing worse than living with one’s boss!”
“Young man!” Alyosha heard the old man’s voice a minute later. “Where are you? Come out here please!”
Alyosha went to the window and looked up at the old man.
“Do you see that white cat there? What do you think of it? It’s my cat! What carriage it has, what carriage! What a gait! Just look at that! Meow, meow, Vaska! Vaska, darling! You naughty little thing, you! He’s a pure Siberian. From far away... ha, ha, that little lady-cat over there—she’d better watch herself! My cat is always triumphant—you’ll see what I mean! What carriage! What carriage!”
Alyosha replied that he found the animal’s fur fabulous. The old man began talking about the life of the cat and all the things it did. Getting carried away, he spoke till sunrise, extolling every detail, smacking his lips and licking his sinewy fingers... so there was no going back to sleep.
The following night, at one in the morning, the cats again struck up their song, and again woke Barbara. Alyosha could not chase the cats away; His Excellency’s cat was among them. Alyosha and Barbara listened to the cat concert till morning.
HOW
I CAME
TO BE
LAWFULLY
WED
AFTER WE HAD FINISHED the punch, our parents murmured a few words to each other and left us alone.
“Go ahead!” my father whispered to me on his way out. “Say the words!”
“But how can I declare my love,” I whispered back, “if I don’t love her?”
“No one’s asking what you want to do, you idiot!”
My father gave me an angry stare and left the garden pavilion. Then, after everyone had gone, a woman’s hand reached in the half-open door and snatched the candle from the table. We sat in the dark.
“Well, there’s no escaping now!” I thought, and with a discreet cough I said briskly: “I see that circumstances favor me, Zoe Andreyevna! At last we are alone, and darkness comes to my aid, for it covers the shame written on my face... the shame pouring from the feelings with which my soul is ablaze.”
Suddenly I stopped. I could hear Zoe Andreyevna’s heart beating and her teeth chattering. Her whole organism was trembling—I could hear and feel it from the way the bench was shaking. The poor girl didn’t love me. She hated me, the way a dog hates the suck that beats it. She despised me, you could say, as only an idiot can. Suddenly I feel like an orangutan, ugly—even though I’m covered in medals and honors— no better than a beast, fat-faced, pimply, covered with stubble; alcohol and a perpetual cold have made my nose red and bloated! A bear has more grace than I do. And don’t even mention my intellectual qualities! With her, with Zoe, I had pulled an immoral trick before she became my bride. I stopped in mid-sentence, because suddenly I felt deeply sorry for her.
“Let us go out into the garden,” I said. “It’s stifling in here.”
We went out and walked down the garden path. Our par-ents, who had been listening by the door, had managed to scamper into the bushes just before we appeared. The moonbeams played on Zoe’s face. Idiot though I was, I thought I could read in that face all the sweet pain of bondage. I sighed and continued:
“The nightingale sings for its sweetheart... and I, all alone in this world, who can I sing to?”
Zoe blushed and lowered her eyes. She was acting to perfection the role she was expected to play. We sat on a bench by the stream, beyond which a church glimmered white. Behind the church towered Count Kuldarov’s mansion, in which his clerk lived, Bolnitsin, the man Zoe loved. As she sat down on the bench she fixed her gaze on the mansion. My heart sank and shriveled with pity. My God, my God! May heaven smile on our parents... but they should be sent down to hell, for a week at least!
“All my happiness rests on a single person,” I continued. “I feel deeply for that person... her perfume... I love her, and should she not return my love, then I am lost... dead... You are that person. Can you love me? Huh? Could you love me?”
“I love you,” she whispered.
I must confess I almost died. I had thought she would dig in her heels, since she was deeply in love with someone else. I had relied on her passion for the other man, but things turned out quite differently. She wasn’t strong enough to swim against the tide!
“I love you,” she repeated, and burst into tears.
“But, no, that can’t be!” I shouted, not knowing what I was saying, my whole body shaking. “How is it possible? Zoe Andreyevna—do not believe a word of what I said! My God, do not believe a word! May I roast in hell if I am in love with you! And you do not love me! This is all nonsense!”
I jumped up from the bench.
“We needn’t go through with this! This is a farce! They are forcing us to marry for money, Zoe. What love is there between us? I would rather have a millstone around my neck than marry you! Its as simple as that! Damn! What right do they have to do this to us? What do they think we are? Serfs? Dogs? We won’t get married! Damn them, the bastards! We’ve danced to their tune long enough already! I’m going to them right this minute to tell them that I won’t marry you—it’s as simple as that!”
Zoe suddenly stopped crying; her tears instantly dried up.
“I’m going to tell them right now!” I continued. “And you tell them too. Tell them that you don’t love me—that it’s Bol- nitsin you love. And I’ll be the first to shake Bolnitsin’s hand... I’m fully aware of how deeply in love you are with him!”