Elena sighed heavily and grabbed one of Augusta’s arms, while I took the other. Together we dragged her out of the room and into the hallway. She was still sobbing.
I dropped down to hug her. “You’ll feel better now. It was only the ghost making you feel so miserable.”
Elena stared at us and looked back into the library. “I thought the ghost was gone. I thought after the Christmas holiday, things seemed more like normal.”
I shook my head. There was not enough time to explain everything. I got back up on my feet. “Do you know where Erzsebet is? I think she should take Augusta back to their room.”
Elena glared at me. “Come on, Augusta. Let’s see if we can get some hot cocoa before we go to bed.”
“Let me get it for you,” I offered. I needed to get to the kitchen anyway to find Sucre.
“Merci, Katerina,” Augusta said. “You are the best friend.”
Elena’s look was venomous.
“Thank Elena too,” I said quickly. “I would not have been able to pull you out if she hadn’t been here to help.”
Augusta threw her arms around Elena’s neck. “Merci!”
Elena’s face softened a little as she hugged the Bavarian princess back. “You’ll bring me some cocoa too, won’t you, Katerina?” she asked over Augusta’s shoulder.
“Of course.” I turned and hurried toward the kitchen.
The dining hall was empty and dark, with only two gaslights along the wall still lit. As I walked closer, I heard two deep voices speaking French within the kitchen. One was Sucre. The other sounded familiar but I could not quite place it. Slowly and silently, I pushed the swinging door open, just an inch. I covered my mouth to hold in my shock. The fae cook was talking to Papus, the French wizard.
“Did you find the beast?” Papus was asking.
“Not yet, but I know who she is now,” Sucre answered. “I suspected her all along, but now I have proof.”
Papus shook his head. “And it is truly a student? The grand duke may not care, but I have a problem with killing a child.”
“You need a werewolf’s heart for the ritual, do you not? What does it matter about the body it comes from?” Sucre spit on the ground. “All werewolves are killers. I am sworn to hunt every last one down.”
Papus sighed and nodded wisely. “C’est vrai.”
“You will have your wolf’s heart before the night is over.”
“Magnificent. The grand duke will be pleased.”
I felt my blood run cold in my veins. No. It wasn’t possible. I blinked back tears and slowly, silently, let the swinging door close. I had to find Alix and warn her. Was George a part of this horrible plot? I refused to believe it. Papus had to be talking about one of the other grand dukes.
I couldn’t even begin to think about what the Frenchman’s words implied. I had to protect Alix first. I should never have trusted Sucre. Dark Court or Light, one should never trust the fae.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
I searched all over the school grounds but could not find Alix. It was close to our curfew, and I knew Madame Tomilov would be checking to make sure everyone was in their beds. I had to return upstairs.
No one else was in our room. It was eerily, unnaturally quiet. I turned around and tried to leave, but the door was stuck fast. I could not escape.
Over the sound of a thousand fluttering bird wings, I heard the strands of Iphigenia’s aria in my head, soft and mournful. I was overwhelmed with a sudden feeling of unbearable sadness. My legs were suddenly weak, and I slid to the floor. It hurt my heart and made my breath catch. “Why?” was all I could think to ask. “What made you want to die?” Because at that moment, dying was all I could think of as well.
There was no answer. Just the drumming of a heartbeat, slowing down. And slowing down. But it did not stop completely. It was maddening. I had the insane urge to stop it. Stop it. Stop the beating. Make it stop.
Filled with a bitterness that was tinged with regret, I thought of my parents and my brother. They did not need me to ruin their lives. There was no way I could protect them. None of the girls at Smolny had any need of me. Some of them were starting to fear me. I did not want to be considered a monster. I felt sick to my stomach. Like I’d swallowed something black and poisonous, and it was spreading slowly throughout my body, slowing me down. It spread from my chest to my belly, then down my arms and legs.
Stop the beating. I hugged my arms around my knees, rocking slowly, keeping in time with the heartbeat. The tiny candle flame on the bed stand was dying, and the shadows in our room were deepening. It was exhausting, listening to that torturous heartbeat, and I thought how easy it would be to fall asleep, how nice it would be not to have to wake up again.
“Come with me …,” a young girl’s voice whispered above the muted heartbeat. “Katerina Alexandrovna …,” she coaxed. “It’s beautiful here.”
I heard her sigh. “So beautiful …”
I sighed too. I wanted to be someplace beautiful. My life was ugly. Full of pain and sickness and so much ugliness. I had to leave. I had to escape. A pale girl was slowly taking shape, and showing me the path. Her hair was so blond it was nearly white.
“Who are you?” I asked. “Please tell me your name.”
Her thin, colorless lips curved slightly. “Sophia Konstantinova.”
“Sophia, how lovely,” I mused aloud. The heartbeat was still beating slowly, vibrating in my chest. I wanted to rip my skin open, set the beating heart free. It felt like a caged animal in my chest, struggling to get out.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My own heartbeat had slowed to match the slow cadence of the one I now realized was coming from the pale girl. How could she have a heartbeat if she was a ghost? My head swam in confusion. She was dead, wasn’t she?
Her gray eyes were almost colorless and she stared at me, holding something behind her back. “It will be beautiful, Katerina. I promise.”
Slowly she pulled her hand out to show me a faintly glowing rope. She had carefully looped it into a noose.
I shook my head. This was not what I wanted, was it? It was so hard for me to think. To remember.
“This will be easy,” she murmured, and stepped closer. Without asking, she lifted my hair off my neck and held the noose over my head. “You have to stand up, Katerina. Only for a little bit. It will be over quickly. You’ll see.”
I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I didn’t want to think about anyone I loved anymore. The pain was too much. What was the point in caring for someone when it only brought them pain? I let a sob escape. I was ready to lay all of my burdens down. Every last one.
Sophia smiled, and this time her lips parted just enough for me to see the horrid black fangs.
I was back on my feet in an instant. My heart sped up, beating its own rhythm. I took a step backward. “Why did you kill Olga? The girl in the kitchen?”
“She took my doll! The one Natalia kept safe for me in her room. That peasant girl stole it when Natalia left.”
“Who is Natalia?” I asked. There was nowhere for me to hide from her.
“She was my friend! And you took her from me! You and that horrible beast.”
Natalia Metcherskey, I remembered from her headstone at the cemetery. Had Madame Metcherskey been Sophia’s friend when they were both little? I could not imagine Madame as a young student here, dressed in the brown and blue Smolny uniforms. Had she seen what had happened to Sophia? What a terrible thing for a little girl to witness. And then to grow up with your best friend a ghost. Perhaps Sophia had not been so violent in the beginning. Perhaps she had slowly lost her sanity as the years passed and her friend Natalia grew up. I almost felt sorry for the ghost.