Shawn snorted but he looked confused.
Algy thought about it. ‘Girls Gone Wild’ he said defiantly, and high-fived with Shawn.
Mare shook her head sadly as they left, probably taking her raise with them. ‘Next thing you know, it’ll be human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together.’
‘Pardon?’ Jude said.
‘Ghostbusters,’ Mare said, and took the clipboard from Brandon and Katie, smiling at them as they left.
‘So everything’s under control,’ Jude said with a definite undercurrent of censure in his voice.
‘Yes,’ Mare said. ‘Algy gets to choose. It’s that whole free will thing.’
‘That doesn’t sound like control to me.’
Mare frowned at him. ‘Do not confuse control with tyranny, Jude. That mistake has screwed up entire continents. Imagine what it could do to a video store.’ She cocked her head at him. ‘So, why are you here?’
‘Your manager tried to hang himself,’ Jude said.
‘Not really.’ Mare went back to tidying up the counter, radiating unconcern as hard as possible. ‘Besides, it’s all taken care of now, William is just fine, and everything is under control.’
‘Could you tell me what happened, please?’
Mare sighed and leaned back against the counter. ‘Well, I’m in charge of the weekend events and tonight we’re showing Curse of the Were-Rabbit and tomorrow night Corpse Bride, and then Sunday we’re doing a triple feature of the Were-Rabbit, Corpse Bride, and Howl’s Moving Castle, so when I was making the posters earlier this week, I wanted to call it ‘Scare the Shit Out of Your Kids Weekend,’ but William said I couldn’t advertise anything with ‘shit’ in it. So I changed it to ‘Scare the Stuffing Out of Your Kids Weekend’ and did this display with dolls with the stuffing coming out of them, but William said that was too gruesome. So then I put up a sign that said, ‘Scare Your Kids Silly Weekend’ with photos of kids crossing their eyes and sticking their tongues out at the camera, and William went in the back room and tried to hang himself, and I found him and cut him down. And we’ve got almost a hundred people signed up to come for the three days combined and that’s not counting the dropins so I’m thinking it’s going to be another huge success for the Salem’s Fork Value Video!!’ She beamed at him.
Jude did not beam back. ‘As I understand it, he talked to you before he hung himself.’
‘Well, yes, but that wasn’t because of me,’ Mare said, thinking, Jesus wept, what is this, Pin It on Mare Weekend? ‘He’d brought the rope from home.’
‘And…’ Jude consulted his clipboard. ‘He left a note that said, ‘Blame it on Netflix.’
‘Who told you about the note?’
‘Uh,’ Jude said, his eyes sliding over to where Dreama was restocking the games, looking like an efficient Catholic School Girl, which was probably a vice-presidential fantasy.
Dreama looked up and saw him looking at her and blushed.
Traitor, Mare thought and turned back to Jude, smiling. ‘Look, it wasn’t that big a deal. The rope would have broken anyway. It was really more like twine. I think it was a cry for help. Netflix really does depress the hell out of him. And anyway, it’s over. It’s fine. Moving on now-’
‘So you’ve been acting as manager all week.’ Jude turned back to survey the store. ‘Putting up all these displays-’
‘No, no, William’s been quieter but he’s been managing the place. I always do the promotion stuff. We’re right back to normal.’
‘Normal being Algy getting his lesson in free will.’
‘And Brandon and Katie getting their love seat to watch Wallace and Gromit,’ Mare pointed out. ‘Everybody’s happy. There are no problems here. We are back to normal. Not that we ever left normal. We are normal twenty-four/seven.’ She smiled, determinedly cheerful.
‘I wouldn’t call these displays normal. Unorthodox, maybe.’
‘You say that like it’s a bad thing.’ Mare smiled at him harder. ‘Here’s the problem, Jude. The people who do the Value Video!! displays have souls made of plywood. They are pressed and cut to measure, Jude, they have no flair. I have flair’
Jude looked around. ‘Yes, Miss O’Brien, I would have to agree you have flair. The furniture alone-’
‘Isn’t it great?’ Mare put as much bounce in her voice as possible. ‘It’s amazing the things people leave out in the street. A little paint and it’s better than new.’
‘I see,’ Jude said. And then there’s the display of ‘Movies
That Are Much Worse Than They Sound’ over there. It’s almost empty.’
‘We can’t keep it filled, Jude,’ Mare said. ‘People just have to see for themselves. We’ve had to order more copies of Bell, Book, and Candle and Bewitched.’
And the “Cry Till You Puke” display?’
Mare leaned closer, trying to look confidential and trusting. ‘You know, weepers are not my thing. But if you’re into them, you really want to go the whole way. Beaches, Terms of Endearment, Shadowlands… Actually, Shadowlands is a damn good movie. Anyway, you want to be pointed to the ones that are going to get you there. It’s like emotional porn, you know? It isn’t really the story that matters, it’s getting that release.’
‘I see,’ Jude said, looking more interested.
‘Because that’s really what we’re selling here,’ Mare said. ‘Emotional catharsis, vicarious release. You want to experience the hell of war without getting killed? We have “Movies Your Recruiter Doesn’t Want You to See.” You want to know what it’s like to fall in love without having to get a background check on the person you’re dating? We got “Bad Dates Gone Good.” You want to know-’
‘Right,’ Jude said. ‘That’s all very interesting.’
‘I’ve been doing this for a while, Jude. Our sales are up. William was really happy about that. I think that’s why he used such thin rope. He knew there were good times ahead.’ She leaned back against the counter. ‘I can’t believe the central office sent you down here because William had one bad day.’
‘They didn’t.’
Jude opened his mouth to go on and Mare braced herself for whatever was coming next, but then the door opened again and Algy came in, looking furtive.
‘Back with you in a minute,’ Mare said to Jude, and turned to face Algy. ‘Have you reconsidered your choice, grasshopper?’
‘Why do you keep calling me that?’ Algy said. Mare sighed. ‘What do you want?’
Algy leaned over the counter, looking around to make sure he wasn’t overheard. ‘What kind of movies do chicks like?’
‘Luckily for you, I have a list.’ Mare reached under the counter for her accordion file of recommendations and flipped through it until she found one that was headed ‘Movies Girls Like.’ She pulled it out and handed it to him. ‘Of course it depends on the girl. But I have it broken down into the most common stereotypes.’
Algy squinted at the list. ‘Yeah. This is good.’
‘And I’m pretty sure that if you reserve it now, the love seat is still open for the six-thirty show. If you know a girl, I mean.’
‘I know a girl,’ Algy said, looking first outraged, then thoughtful. ‘Yeah. Put me down for that.’
Mare handed him the clipboard. ‘Put yourself down.’
Algy filled out the clipboard and handed it back.’ He’d left the space for the other name blank. Probably a good idea until he’d found somebody to say yes.
‘You have chosen wisely,’ Mare intoned, and when Algy frowned at her, she said, ‘That’s from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.’
Algy looked confused again. So did Jude.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Mare said. ‘Just remember: no Girls Gone Wild. Ever.’
‘Right.’ Algy folded up his list and stuffed it in his pocket. ‘Thanks.’ He leaned closer. ‘Don’t tell Shawn.’
‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ Mare stashed her recommendations folder under the counter again as the door closed behind Algy. Then she turned back to Jude.